Rubbersidedown, down.

[hayabuser]

It's been a trying week this week (as some of you may have noticed in my last couple of posts... apologies for those, I was in an angry mood), I got a call from a very distraught, very drunk Rubb on Tuesday, seems that he'd woken up that morning to find his girlfriend dead in their bed. He was agonizing about his life recently... lost his 'Busa, lost his car, lost his best friend Jim (and accompanying employment with him) earlier this year and now the girl that he'd planned on marrying on the spring. His living situation is now up in the air as the apartment he shared with his gf is in her name, and rent-controlled as long as she lived there, but with her passing, he doesn't know what will happen.

I tried to be there for him but he was so messed up and incoherent that he ended up passing the phone to a friend who was there and wandered off. The last thing he said to me was that he planned on being very drunk for a very long time. I decided to give him some time and space to make sense of his new world so haven't spoken to him since that call. I'm going to touch base today and see how he's doing.

This weekend is Christmas, a time for family. Rubb hasn't been around the org since losing access to the internet (no computer at home, no data plan on his phone) but I know that he's always considered many of you his family. You will know who you are. For those with faith, pray for Andy. For those with his phone number, maybe reach out? I can't guarantee what kind kind of conversation you'll have but knowing that there are people out there who care about him might go a long way.

That's it. Thanks for reading this and Merry Christmas to you and yours.

 

[Hayabusa Wannabe]

Thank you very much for the update, albeit how awful it is.

I was in fact thinking of him just today, with the hope that he would check in periodically.

 

[TallTom]

Listening to this, any one of these would be a reason for someone to do some drinking. Add them all up and Jesus what a rough patch to navigate through.

I had to deal with addiction awareness when I did a rotation in med school. Environment has a lot to do with it.

Right now, his environment really sucks. If I woke up to a dead girlfriend next to me, no normal person would not be affected.

Man I hope he finds a path out.

 

[TonyM995]

Wow thank you so much for posting this. I definitely saw his name on here but don’t see it now to send a PM.

Please remind him that he exists to others even when they aren’t in his presence.

This hits very close to home for me. My cousin took his own life and I’ve come close several times. First time I cut my wrist was in 5th grade.

I’m a Go 4 Graham ambassador, it’s a local non profit with a mission of ‘Shredding the Stigma’ surrounding mental health and promoting wellness.

Maybe there is a similar group local to him?

They will pay for therapy for him!! Just send them an email or I can post a link to their mail chimp newsletter.

Go4Graham

Go4Graham is a grassroots movement to shred the stigma surrounding mental health and to promote mental wellness through exercise, community, and educaiton. (501c3 Non Profit)

www.go4graham.org

Is there anything I can do to help? Please keep up updated no matter what.

Thanks again for sharing. I believe it’s a huge benefit to talk about mental health among men. The main reason I have a Hayabusa is for mental health. I feel at home on a fast motorcycle.

 

[c10]

I'm not a fan of Rubb , but I'll defiantly pray his situation improves . Not sure hayabuser you thoughts on the Lord , but maybe steer Rubb in Gods direction . He is the only answer needed .

 

[captain]

Yep, Andy is a good guy, a little rough sometimes but his heart is as good as the next guys... Will spend some time with the Lord on his behalf today.

 

[michael parris heuberger]

It's been a trying week this week (as some of you may have noticed in my last couple of posts... apologies for those, I was in an angry mood), I got a call from a very distraught, very drunk Rubb on Tuesday, seems that he'd woken up that morning to find his girlfriend dead in their bed. He was agonizing about his life recently... lost his 'Busa, lost his car, lost his best friend Jim (and accompanying employment with him) earlier this year and now the girl that he'd planned on marrying on the spring. His living situation is now up in the air as the apartment he shared with his gf is in her name, and rent-controlled as long as she lived there, but with her passing, he doesn't know what will happen.

I tried to be there for him but he was so messed up and incoherent that he ended up passing the phone to a friend who was there and wandered off. The last thing he said to me was that he planned on being very drunk for a very long time. I decided to give him some time and space to make sense of his new world so haven't spoken to him since that call. I'm going to touch base today and see how he's doing.

This weekend is Christmas, a time for family. Rubb hasn't been around the org since losing access to the internet (no computer at home, no data plan on his phone) but I know that he's always considered many of you his family. You will know who you are. For those with faith, pray for Andy. For those with his phone number, maybe reach out? I can't guarantee what kind kind of conversation you'll have but knowing that there are people out there who care about him might go a long way.

That's it. Thanks for reading this and Merry Christmas to you and yours.

Hi. Try to get his mind off of sad. I have lost 3 girl friends and my only wife and my oldest daughter was murded Wife and 1 girl friend from cancer. 1 was killed right next to me in a truck crash and 1 after we broke up to I was never told what happened to her. Life has not been very kind to me.

 

[TonyM995]

@c10 I think the same way and would never wish suicide to anyone.

Hopefully he comes out okay. This thread existing and us talking about this can also help others.

Thanks for sharing @michael parris heuberger. Life can be brutal and this is a good reminder we never know what others may be going through.

 

[TallTom]

Hi. Try to get his mind off of sad. I have lost 3 girl friends and my only wife and my oldest daughter was murded Wife and 1 girl friend from cancer. 1 was killed right next to me in a truck crash and 1 after we broke up to I was never told what happened to her. Life has not been very kind to me.

And we don't know how you managed to work through it.

I bring this up to make an illustration. People get dealt some devastating blows in life. Michael I can't imagine that hardship burden affected you. You may not have turned to drugs or alcohol. Others do. It doesn't make them faulty. I got to digest a LOT of medical evidence that suggest that some people will turn to drugs and alcohol literally because genetically they are susceptible to it. Others can get drunk once, get over it and don't do it again.

In the military we studied and were trained by former POWs about how they managed to stay sane while being subjected to horrendous torture, deplorable living conditions, and being repeatedly threatened death with a literal gun placed to their heads.

They had no access to drugs or alcohol. Yet they found an inner drive to not only overcome it, and learn how to mentally overpower it.

I personally met Capt Arthur Corimier. He spent 7 years at the Hanoi Hilton. He overcame by mental escapism. What we call meditation. He used to literally in his head build, brick by brick the city he grew up in. Every detail. All while being tortured etc.

The same chemical process that drugs accomplish for others some can do by exercise. Or reading the bible. Or writing literature. Or practicing music.

Michael, between your time in Nam and your life since, just being able to function and be productive, makes me feel weak in comparison.

 

[Kiwi Rider]

Sorry to hear this about Andy, yep he’s a rough diamond but a heart of gold too… he sent me a gift and we traded a few items by post.. he has his demons for sure, but I’m taking the same route as c10 and pray for his salvation, only thing that will really bring him out of the pit he’s currently in and set him on a straight course, fill him with hope and joy.

 

[michael parris heuberger]

And we don't know how you managed to work through it.

I bring this up to make an illustration. People get dealt some devastating blows in life. Michael I can't imagine that hardship burden affected you. You may not have turned to drugs or alcohol. Others do. It doesn't make them faulty. I got to digest a LOT of medical evidence that suggest that some people will turn to drugs and alcohol literally because genetically they are susceptible to it. Others can get drunk once, get over it and don't do it again.

In the military we studied and were trained by former POWs about how they managed to stay sane while being subjected to horrendous torture, deplorable living conditions, and being repeatedly threatened death with a literal gun placed to their heads.

They had no access to drugs or alcohol. Yet they found an inner drive to not only overcome it, and learn how to mentally overpower it.

I personally met Capt Arthur Corimier. He spent 7 years at the Hanoi Hilton. He overcame by mental escapism. What we call meditation. He used to literally in his head build, brick by brick the city he grew up in. Every detail. All while being tortured etc.

The same chemical process that drugs accomplish for others some can do by exercise. Or reading the bible. Or writing literature. Or practicing music.

Michael, between your time in Nam and your life since, just being able to function and be productive, makes me feel weak in comparison.

Hi. When I am down I have a camp site a few miles in the woods I go there to sought things out. I have to be alone. I have done things to people that should nerer be done and I have seen things that no one should ever see. I know they will never be out of my mind. It is like a rubber ball you push it under the water and it pops back up.