Need advice...

[yamahor]

Okay, I try not to post up about this stuff anymore, as I know I used to post about it ALL the time, but here goes...

I got 2 friends, Brittany, who I think of as a sister and was on the busa when I wrecked (She's fine) and Benita (Ta), who I have been crushing on for a while... Heres my problem, and no, I'm not asking for advice about my crush. So, Britt and Ta have things for these 2 brothers that just got back from Iraq, 1 of them just finished his 4 years... I've got bad feelings about both these guys. I never met the older one, Christian, but I've met and joked around with the other brother, Colton. Brit likes Colton, Ta likes Christian... My thing is, I can't tell if this feeling I'm getting is just jealousy, or if it's something I should bring to their attentions... I have learned though, normally, I should act on these feelings like that, as Ta, Lori, Heather, Bart, Garret and I ALL had these feelings the day of the wreck and NEVER acted on them. We didn't even know the others had the same bad feelings till the next week... Plus, I've had these feelings before with friends getting in relationships, and it usually comes true that my feelings were validated. But heres my thing, I know Ta knows I have feelings for her, and I'm afraid she'd chalk it up to jealousy and not a friend voicing a concern... She's become a GREAT friend of mine if nothing else, and I hate to see friends get hurt if preventable... What do you experts think? Would she chalk it up to jealousy? I've been up late the past few nights from these thoughts... I've known she likes him, so thats nothing new... I think Gods trying to tell me to voice it... But I'm just not sure... I've prayed about, but it's still not been too clear... HELP!!!


PS, Don't read this as me having a problem with Marines... FAR from it... Colton's a good guy, but he just sends me this vibe, even before I met him face to face... Meeting him just confirmed that. And I talked with him online before he was in the Marines...

 

[Wag]

Unfortunately, you can't live other people's lives for them.

Sorry to hear it, though.

--Wag--

 

[yamahor]

Yeah, I know it's their lives, I just HATE to see friends get used and hurt...

 

[Vic_E55_2001]

Usually people ask for your opinion to confirm what they want to hear.
Tell her what you think only if she ask for it.

And for the God sake, Ben, go out. Meet some girls, have fun. Your posts are very depressing lately.

 

[GMbusa]

Ben, you've unfortunatly become that "family friend" with these girls. From here on out it's gonna be a no-win situation in trying to hook up with either one of these girls. Stay the friend and move to find another girl.
I know this isn't what you wanted to hear, but it's the truth. Another kiss of death is if either one of them has told you that "your the best friend or nicest guy i know"

If they have, your doomed.

 

[nitrousjunkie]

(GMbusa @ Jun. 03 2007,14:11) Ben, you've unfortunatly become that "family friend" with these girls. From here on out it's gonna be a no-win situation in trying to hook up with either one of these girls. Stay the friend and move to find another girl.
I know this isn't what you wanted to hear, but it's the truth. Another kiss of death is if either one of them has told you that "your the best friend or nicest guy i know"

If they have, your doomed.

+ 1

 

[thrasherfox]

When I read your post I was going to post pretty much what Wag said. You cant live other peoples lives for them.

It is their lives.

If you had concrete proof one or both of these guys were screwed up such as you PERSONALLY witnessed them doing something real real bad, or KNEW PERSONALLY one or both had girl friends, or were married or something or a number of other bad things. Then you would be a good friend by saying something.

But if you DONT know any bad gouge on these guys and you only have a FEELING then you should probably just keep it to yourself.

I too have lived most of my life following and acting on my gut, most of the time I am right, but I have been wrong before.

So unless you have hard core in your face proof these guys are bad, I would recommend letting it go and let them live their own lives and find things out for themselves.

 

[heavybusa]

You need to move Ben, that will solve all your problems and open your eyes to all the other fish in the sea!!

Drama will always be drama, you can either be part of it or you can avoid it.

 

[fasttoys1]

yama, sorry things haven't been working out lately. I've read some of the other post in the past. Maybe your trying to find someone too hard. All the post above are really good advice. My life has been so screwed up I sure shouldn't give any. But all my relationships seemed like work. When my divorce was becoming final I decided to give up on all relationships. I was just going to ride. I Decided I most likely wouldn't meet anyone. I most certainly didn't want to meet anyone with children. When I totally gave up. Then I met Sue. She has three little girls and has been the best thing that has every happen to me. Getting involved with someone was not in her plans either she sez. Funny how things work-out. I thanks the stars above(and her) every day for being in my life and putting up with me.

I can't tell YOU what you should do. I can only tell you what seemed to work for me. I stopped looking and started living. I started doing what made me happy, honestly happy. I began to feel really good about my self, my choices, and my life. And when I was least expecting it I met the girl of my dreams. We've been together 2yr & 2mo.

I guess this went on a little longer than I thought it would. You seem I like a good guy. Wish I had been around longer at the fall bash we could have talked some. I think if you make things good in your live and are happy and confident (that is what Sue said 1st caught her eye,besides she thought I'ld be fun, I try to be up beat) others will see that. Good things will happen when they are supose to, not when you what then to.

Hope it helps, now Dr. Doug sez, go out and take a good long ride. And be careful bro.

 

[yamahor]

(fasttoys1 @ Jun. 03 2007,08:36) Hope it helps, now Dr. Doug sez, go out and take a good long ride. And be careful bro.

Guess I could take a ride in the truck... Busa was totalled. No big though, just giving you crap. Totalling the busa ended up being a good thing in my life, moving my butt to Orlando to go to MMI in Dec, SO I'm pretty happy about that.

As for the moving on part, I try, I think it's just more concern for friends (at least I think so). But, I do understand what everyone is saying. Maybe it's just my mind F-ing with me...

WHO WANTS TO SEE YAMAHOR BOUNCING IN A CLUB IN FLA?!

 

[dadofthree]

Wrestle gators man

 

[Charlesbusa]

Unless you have evidence/proof, keep it to yourself. If asked your opinion, then give it. But don't exaggerate, just say you have a bad feeling about him and leave it at that.

I agree with everyone else. You need to find a life away from those girls. You don't have to cut them out, just find something else without them.

 

[extreemachine]

I agree with some above, wait until you have proof! You will come off as jealous with just your gut instinct being is how she knows you like her.

Good luck my friend!

 

[dadofthree]

Ben worry about Yamahor; he needs a good friend

When do ya leave for Florida, and let me know your plans. My crazy azz might just ride out ta meet ya for a minute.

 

[GMbusa]

I know what's happening with them. You like them, yet you know that you probly won't be what you want to them but you want to make sure nothing happens to them. Then some punkasses come on to the scene and so easily get where you wanted to be with no effort. And you know they're 2 worthless maggots out for one thing.  You yourself know the heartache that's gonna happen when these guy get what they want and move on. In the past i've had to hold my tongue and let life happen with people.
The only thing i've found you can do is tell them what you think, hope they value your opinion and listen to you.

 

[heavybusa]

(GMbusa @ Jun. 03 2007,12:52) I know what's happening with them. You like them, yet you know that you probly won't be what you want to them but you want to make sure nothing happens to them. Then some punkasses come on to the scene and so easily get where you wanted to be with no effort. And you know they're 2 worthless maggots out for one thing. You yourself know the heartache that's gonna happen when these guy get what they want and move on. In the past i've had to hold my tongue and let life happen with people.
The only thing i've found you can do is tell them what you think, hope they value your opinion and listen to you.

i see ya Dr. Paul!! LoL

 

[DC TONY]

LET IT GO MAN, IF YOU WANT ONE OF THESE LADIES THEN SH*T OR GET OFF THE POT. BECAUSE YOU ARE THE ONE GETTING HURT. COME ON LET'S GROW UP.