Need a male opinion

[frisbee]

It always bugs me when people say - you're being selfish by not having kids.
Fact is the most selfish thing you can do is have children.  
In this over populated world, with dire environmental issues, the worst thing to do is to breed.
Not to mention in the US, where so much of our tax dollars go to support children, you force others to pay for them.

As for personal enrichment.  I have never met anyone with kids who would say having them was a mistake and always claiming it was the best thing ever.  On the flip side I have never met anyone with kids that seemed all that happy or wasn't envious of my kid free life.

Don't get me wrong I love kids.  I just love life more, and have no desire to waste it away breeding.

I am sure in this very pro breeder thread, my comments won't be taken well.  But you ask for male views and all the responses are skewed to breeding.  I "Ëœm just giving you mine. I am 40+ married and both of us are very happy we chose not to breed.

I don't have a problem with your opinion . I have a couple friends that never had kids and they are very happy ( you can't miss what you don't know , right ? ). Having kids changes EVERYTHING in your life , I remember the first day my son was born ,it was amazing and I also remember that my whole way of thinking about life had now changed . It wasn't about me anymore it was about him . This didn't make me unhappy in the least and I would do it again . Its all about what YOU want to do with your life . If you decide to have kids then You have to raise them right , its a big responsibilty .




By the way Nerfboy , check out the Northwest thread .

 

[thrasherfox]

I think Frisbee said it best. short and sweet. "You cant miss what you never had"

 

[ThunderJohn]

If all else fails flip a coin tonight.

 

[dadofthree]

I guess what I am asking.. plain and simple.. is "IS MY HUSBAND GONNA BE P***ED IF I GET PREGNANT" and will I have to give up MY whole life while he continues his like nothing has changed?

So I really am asking both the male and female opinion there....

Most of my friends already have teenagers and are almost done "parenting" and are hitting the roads.... me starting so late really alienates me from the MOMMY crowd of 20-somethings now.

No one can answer that. Dad's need to be as active in a child's life as momma.

 

[Narcissus]

I enjoy being an uncle too much to ever want kids of my own. Besides, listening to sound of total silence at 3AM... priceless.

 

[BamBamm]

I was extremely scared at the fact i was going to be a father,but i would not trade anything for my two little girls,I would give my life for theme....

 

[Busa Jules]

I enjoy being an uncle too much to ever want kids of my own. Besides, listening to sound of total silence at 3AM... priceless.  

See this is kind of where I stand....

Maybe it's becasue I'm an only child.... and always had everything (even though it wasn't much) to myself...

The coin flip is out of the question I think.....

We are in no rush, it just seems a lot of ppl around me are pregnant and it keeps coming to my mind... who knows.. it may be the "Clock Ticking"

 

[Dan]

I guess what I am asking.. plain and simple.. is  "IS MY HUSBAND GONNA BE P***ED IF I GET PREGNANT" and will I have to give up MY whole life while he continues his like nothing has changed?

So I really am asking both the male and female opinion there....

Most of my friends already have teenagers and are almost done "parenting" and are hitting the roads.... me starting so late really alienates me from the MOMMY crowd of 20-somethings now.

Unless you are planning on getting pregnant without talking to him about it first, I see no reason why he would get pissed. This is a major life change for both parties.

I'm 42 with three kids, the oldest of which is 21 and the youngest is almost 15. When I met my wife, she was divorced with a 3 year old and a 1 year old. I want straight from bachelorhood to fatherhood, and while there were a few bumps and surprises, it has made our relationship stronger.

 

[8Daytona8]

Riding just gets better with a little age, have the family while there is time.

 

[SAMBUSA]

And another thing that your husband should never not witness is the birth of his child.
This alone is one of the most unbelievable and greatest things a man can ever see before his own eyes.
I have yet to see anything greater. It brought instant tears of joy to my eyes with bothe deliveries. It's truly amazing!!!!

+1

29 and have a 5 year old and an 18 month old.  Love every minute of it.  Even the cries at 3AM.  

Wanna talk about time for other stuff?  I work 80+ hours every week come home and do farm chores and spend time with the kids.  But with all that, ya gotta make time for riding.  Parents need some alone time, so I normally try to take off 3 months/ year

I've got a brother who is the lead singer of a band that travels world wide.  He looks like a parents worse nightmare.  Tattoo's cover 80% of his body.  Holes in his ears are as big as quarters.  He lives in NY, while he was home for T-day he met his 5 yr old daughter for the first time.  She instantly changed him.  He is now making plans to move back to Ohio, retire from the band, etc.  Yeah, he should have been taking care of things 5 years ago but he didn't know that he had a kid until a short time ago.  The point of all this rambling is this - NY was his life, all he cared about.  But when he realized that he had a kid, he is willing to give it all up to be a daddy.

 

[GSXcite]

My wife and I had our kids when we were young. I was twenty when we had our first, then another son two years later to the day, followed by a daughter six years later. Somehow, even working a full time job, going to school full time, and working a part time job, I found the time to do things with them. I can remember riding Chris (GSXTacy) on the tank of my bike when he was only 4 or 5 years old. My kids always went with us when I was racing stock cars and sprint cars too, and they still love racing to this day. Kids are great, but you will make sacrifices no doubt! One thing you may not be getting feedback on is when you get older. I love riding and spending time with my adult son. I also have a blast with my 13 grandkids! My wife has a recorded message on the phone answering machine one of our granddaughters left for her birthday years ago, and she listens to it everyday! It's good to know you will have someone to look out for you when you get old, and I look forward to the time my kids will have to change MY diapers!

 

[Mike.P175]

I was scared I would not be a good Dad at 18y.o
but I turned out to be a good Dad so my kids say.

 

[spot]

I had my kids before I could afford any toys now that they are out of the house I'm not giving up my toys

 

[johnstein]

i am 34 have three boys , 14 11 and 5 . they all have toys and i get to play with them when ever I want ! No , realy it brings more joy to me seeing my 14 and 11 year old whippin around on dirt bikes , and the 5 year old doing donuts on his quad , and I might get flamed , but than it does riding my busa !

It is an experience like no other and should not be missed !

Although I do believe there are some people that should not breed , bad genes or somthin.

good luck

dont wait too long , yes i started early , and i would probably be in a better position if i had held off , but we are doin alright !

 

[johnstein]

5 year old

 

[johnstein]

all three

 

[johnstein]

and whats a few more pumkins

 

[proud dad]

+1 johnstein

I had a whole lot more fun watching my boys mixing it up on the go-carts than I will ever have on the busa.

 

[brivision]

We traveled the world and did missions and had a blast. I got to buy a new vette and a house. It was good. We worked hard and played hard. Now I am 44, son is 6 and daughter is 3. The Lord has blessed us. I got a new Busa in May and would sell it in a minute if the family needed anything. Being a father is awesome. The Lord has prepared me and now I treat my kids different than my Dad treated me.
God Bless,
Brian

 

[Busa Jules]

okay guys.... enough of this for one day... it's all beautiful the way you talk about your kids. They are very lucky to have daddys like y'all. (I keep tear-ing up every time I read a new post)

I have a lot of growing up to do (even at 31) it seems because I keep coming up with the "what ifs" My relationship is secure but my husband has his issues too... like spending money like it is going out of style. I need to know where he is before we go any further.... now if I can just get him talk to me.

Thanks for everything guys!! (and girls)