A personal account: race related



Tached1300

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My son Trey has a white girlfriend, she went to high school with him, she was afraid to tell her parents about her relationship with him. When she told her dad about Trey he gave her a choice, stop relationship with him or he would cut her off, he actually stopped paying for her college which was thru his GI Bill, he took his car back and her cell phone. He has never met Trey and didn't want to, he had numerous assumptions about Trey and our family without knowing us at all you know like we are raised differently culturally, our values differ, she didn't know what kind of neighborhood we lived in, along with the common stereotypes.

They stopped all contact with her basically didn't call or visit while she was attending college, she had to stay with my son or us because of lack of support/finances. When he came home to visit she came, home for summer break she would stay with us all summer as well. We include her in all family activities and vacations etc I put her on my cell phone plan and she drives my 2008 Honda Accord. We’ve made sure to show her love unconditionally and assure that her needs are met, she's part of our family.

I hate that her dad reacted that way, funny thing is if they would get to know us he could see how wrong he is about it all, so it's a f-ed up situation. Not to brag or toot my own horn but my family has always been very community oriented we are well known and respected members of our community, we volunteer, mentor, coach, we were once awarded family of the year by our local YMCA and my wife and I have a plaque with our name on the wall of the YMCA for charitable donations. We both serve on various boards and community related committees and such. Again that’s not to brag or look important but to illustrate I’m not sitting at home waiting for a check so I can get my six pack and yell and raise hell with my neighbors and don’t fit the stereotypes but I digress...

I'm even more shocked that her mom allowed this!!! It has been several years since she has seen her parents, she sneaks to see her younger sister out in public once or twice a year usually around their birthdays or holidays. I feel bad about it all, we make sure she can participate in our family events at least, if her dad would've asked anybody of Trey they would've said he's the type you want dating your daughter, he's awesome In that regard, just an example of Bullshit that goes on, now recall this was based solely on the color of my son’s skin. I could respect his choice more if he had met my son and there was a tangible reason he didn’t think he was a good fit but that’s clearly not the case here. Here’s a post in her own words she shared on Facebook that pretty much went viral about her situation a few years ago. Kudos to her for being the one within her family to say this cycle ends with me. Sorry for the small print as it is a screen shot.
 

Yellow09

Registered
I’ve said if you really want to find out where someone stands on race wait until one of their kids bring home someone outside of the family’s race smh....
A sad situation in this day and age...this person obviously has real issues and she is better off out of that environment.

Good for her to have the courage to stand up and keep her beliefs strong and not succumbing to this bigoted point of view so obviously embraced by her family...

Edit-I just noted the father is on the GI Bill which tells me he served in your military...a double bit of disgusting news to think a bigot would survive in there.
 

Tached1300

Registered
A sad situation in this day and age...this person obviously has real issues and she is better off out of that environment.

Good for her to have the courage to stand up and keep her beliefs strong and not succumbing to this bigoted point of view so obviously embraced by her family...

Edit-I just noted the father is on the GI Bill which tells me he served in your military...a double bit of disgusting news to think a bigot would survive in there.
Yep Bill, This is a guy who was military, so if you are a minority under his command will you get the promotion over a white candidate based upon his views? Will you get all the shitty assignments? Is he able to set aside his bias for work purposes??
 

Yellow09

Registered
Yep Bill, This is a guy who was military, so if you are a minority under his command will you get the promotion over a white candidate based upon his views? Will you get all the shitty assignments? Is he able to set aside his bias for work purposes??
If he served overseas in a combat role, I wonder what his stats were as to how many soldiers of ethnic minorities were injured as a result of his leadership?

Reminds me of an old MASH episode where they outed a bigot and found a way to get rid of him...
 

SSGT_B

Registered
My girls have dated boys, and a few girls of many races and nationalities. Everyone of them got the same speech regardless of color,sex,religious belief. Treat her bad, then we have problems. You don’t want us to have problems. I have friends, a shovel and an alibi. If more people would see their person next to them and not the color or lack there of in their skin, this world be a much happier place. Nice story @Tached1300 keep moving forward and tell her the same.
 

Kiwi Rider

Registered
I just read all of that, she is very courageous and your son is very fortunate to have her love and loyalty.
What her father did is disgraceful and her mother is obviously controlled by her husband.
Her father appears to have a sense of ownership over his daughter, and is failing to realise the the Golden Rule of Love....
To let her go and if she returns, true love is manifest.
Also, his mindset is ignorant and if only he reached out to God he would see himself as he is acting... if reached out to you and your family @Tached1300 , he would see a good man... not a black man.
What an awful situation you are all in.. prayer is the first course of action to take.
 

Slowstang305

Registered

Tached1300

Registered
WHat parent puts their daughter in a situation where’s she’s more or less dependent upon a man? I’d never put my daughter in that type of situation their daughter found the right family but that’s how so many young ladies end up in prostitution or trafficking from no support hopelessness etc

What mother can turn off her maternal instincts and allow this to happen?
 

c10

Registered
True love sees no color . There is a mixed race girl down the street that went to school with Hunter my son in the Marine Corps . She is beautiful , and her light color fro really fits her . She had a crush on Hunter , but he didn't act on it . I think because of possible problems at high school . Told him if I was him it would be a case of a Duck on a june bug .
She waved at me the other day while I was riding through the neighborhood .

Thomas you , and the family have done the best ;)
 

Yellow09

Registered
I dated a perfectly wonderful AA woman for a time. Her father did the same with her. So your story hits home a little.

She had her version of racism herself. She hated AA men.

Fortunately she made her own money and had the ability to be independent.
Excuse my ignorance...what is an "AA" person?
 


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