Okay..lets hear from the anti-depressant folks...please?..

[Bigdog5]

Bill...word of advice. Don't ever make references to 'entertaining thoughts' as everything you say can and WILL be used against you. And if you don't want her or her attorney to read this, then you need to NOT PUBLICLY POST IT.

Your relationship with your wife may be unrepairable, but those with your daughters do not have to be. You MUST, no matter how mad it makes you, take the HIGH ROAD...your daughters will eventually grow old enough to recognize what you've done. All you can do is Love them no matter where the relationship with your spouse goes.

Eventually, you are gonna have to face this 'demon' also. You and your wife need counseling; you need to continue your improvement in leading by example, and if she won't/can't find a way to work thru this WITH you instead of AGAINST you, then you'll also have to deal with that. A GOOD marriage counselor (and not all of them are good) can help you both thru this. Another (last alternative) piece of advice: He/She who files for divorce FIRST has the tactical and strategic advantage..

None of this fixes itself, until YOU fix YOURSELF. Continue on this path, eventually the SUN WILL RISE.

Very good advice!!

 

[ogre]

hey man, i've found that depression (induced by forced absence from family, thanks uncle sam) can be combatted by heavy heavy excercise. some good, hard cardio will give you an endorphine high that's fantastic, plus it'll improve your overall health and help you drop some pounds (not that you need to man, i remember you dropped quite a bit recently). work into it slow. if you can commit to a couple miles at a decent pace for a week, step it up to maybe 3 miles the second week. it's good to get a workout partner to keep you motivated too.

 

[Ben Busafied]

I'm new here and I don't know you but I do know a little about recovery, so, I reckon I'm as qualified as anybody to offer a little advice. Please don't be offended, but it seems to me you have doubts about starting the med's and you may want to postpone that descision. Doctors in general seem pretty easy about writing scripts with little evaluation, if you don't really need them taking them would be a mistake. If I was your sponsor, this would be my advice.

Keep doing what your doing, get professional advice on medication, read A New Pair of Glasses by Chuck C (available at Amazon or most AA meetings). Go to a meeting everyday, work the steps, pray, clean house, help others.

An alcoholic or addict's life is like a mobile, spin one piece wildly like the life of alky/addict and all the other pieces (family, friend's, co-workers, neighbors) get knocked around too, it may take them a while to adjust to the new you.

The choas was your creation, you may take the heat for a long time. They may never forgive you, but, your not the victim, your job is to do all you can do to make it right, one day at a time. (They may not be blameless, they may even be co-conspirators but that's no longer your concern)

This I gurrantee, stay on the path and you'll exceed your wildest dreams, give up and your worst nightmares will be realized.

12 Steps changed my life, clean since '87 and life just keeps getting better. It didn't happen over night but it did happen one day at a time. Hang tough, if your like me you've been lucky enough to not get what you really deserved, stay grateful.

 

[Spkrdctr]

The drugs don't hurt. I would try them. What's wrong with taking non-addictive drugs? If they work they work. If not, then oh well, you move on. I see no down side at all.

 

[JINKSTER]

Bill...word of advice. Don't ever make references to 'entertaining thoughts' as everything you say can and WILL be used against you. And if you don't want her or her attorney to read this, then you need to NOT PUBLICLY POST IT.

Your relationship with your wife may be unrepairable, but those with your daughters do not have to be. You MUST, no matter how mad it makes you, take the HIGH ROAD...your daughters will eventually grow old enough to recognize what you've done. All you can do is Love them no matter where the relationship with your spouse goes.

Eventually, you are gonna have to face this 'demon' also. You and your wife need counseling; you need to continue your improvement in leading by example, and if she won't/can't find a way to work thru this WITH you instead of AGAINST you, then you'll also have to deal with that. A GOOD marriage counselor (and not all of them are good) can help you both thru this. Another (last alternative) piece of advice: He/She who files for divorce FIRST has the tactical and strategic advantage..

None of this fixes itself, until YOU fix YOURSELF. Continue on this path, eventually the SUN WILL RISE.

Thanks skydivr and i shall heed your good advice and suggestions however...as far as marriage counseling goes?...i asked her if she would attend one with me about a month ago...no dice...the answer was "NO!..i aint seeing no counselor"..so?..my options on the high road are limited...but maqkes a tough decision real easy to make as there seems to be only 1 option...def con 4...launch missile #1.

 

[skydivr]

Thanks skydivr and i shall heed your good advice and suggestions however...as far as marriage counseling goes?...i asked her if she would attend one with me about a month ago...no dice...the answer was "NO!..i aint seeing no counselor"..so?..my options on the high road are limited...but maqkes a tough decision real easy to make as there seems to be only 1 option...def con 4...launch missile #1.

If that is the case, and she's not budging, then what I said about who gains the tactical advantage is important (unfortunately).

 

[ogre]

bill, at this point, it's important to concentrate on being a good father. your kids may not understand right away how hard you're trying, but it'll pay off in the long run. as the child of a "broken home", it took me over 10 years to understand how hard my father tried to be near me after the divorce, even though my mom was a horrendous ble ach at the time. mom's nicer now, but it doesn't make what my father had to deal with any easier.