Need help from the Org...Dad advice

[ResidentEvil]

Ok my son is 16 & he lives with his mother, 1340 miles away from me (Ironic number eh) anyway, he's been doing bad in school ...real bad ,showing off for girls ,talking back to teachers, skipping school ,ect .Talking dosen't seam to help soooo, I was thinking about making a deal with him .
Get straight A's from now till he graduates, and I would Give him my 2008 hayabusa ,He loves that bike more then I do.
What do you think ?

 

[illuminati]

That's a hell of a deal! You may want to hold off on that though. A hayabusa for a 17-18 y.o. Is a little much to me.....

 

[Ezduzit]

That's a hard one for me giving that my youngings are 10 and 4 years old, I don't think bribbing would be the best, maybe make a trip up spend the weekend with him, just you to and see what's going on in his world!

 

[twotonevert]

I wouldnt give my 18 year old son a hayabusa. And he is already a straight A student. How you about you offer to buy him another bike?

 

[Gregor6]

I'd pay a surpise visit and have a talk with him, no thumping, just talking to see if you can straighten him out.
I would think giving him a bike would only be a short term fix if anything.
If he wanted something else all he would have to do is act like a fool again.. You would be back to square one.

 

[BlondeOnaBusa]

I picked option 2.....go pay him a surprise visit and have a very stern talk with the young man. That might be all he needs.

Good luck with your decision. It sure isn't easy being a parent.

 

[dadofthree]

DAYUM I'm good at these polls. Good luck with it. Raising kids isn't as easy as it use to be.

 

[Gitonit!]

Option 2 here also, but would add that roughing him up I dont think will get you anywhere. One possibility is that he is feeling some pain that his dad lives 1340 miles away...kind of rebelling IDK. Be sure to tell him you love him.(no thats not ghey)
It`s not too late for him...I had some troubles also my first 2 yrs of High School..then was an Honor Student the last 2.
I was never disrespectful/talk back to a teacher though.
I hope you get through to him.
If he`s in E. Nebraska, you can come up here meet with me, and I`ll try and help any way I can...keep an eye on him....show him how to hunt/fish/camp/...mow my grass

 

[OldMan]

Encourage him to get involved in one of the school's sport teams. My son is going onto his second year of high school and showed the same attitude up until high school. I persuaded him into the football team and now he loves it. The team is a second family and has shown him discipline and camaraderie, it has made the biggest difference in his attitude. Plus the girls dig it!

 

[Blanca BusaLess]

No way should an 18 year old be out on a Hayabusa. You'll be visiting the morgue soon after.

Bribes don't work and do not teach real life lessons. You need to explain to him that he will have all the time he wants to show off after he graduates. The world is difficult enough to succeed in and without a diploma it will be all but impossible.

Take him to McDonalds for lunch. While you two are sitting there and he's laughing at what a silly job it is tell him that will be all he finds with zero education.
Ask him to practice these two sayings:

'would you like to biggie size that sir?'
Or
'20 bucks on pump four, yes sir!'

Cuz that's what he'll be saying.

 

[Slobusa]

**** that !!
How about you talk to him and tell his little ass to get his **** together or else !!!!


This is the reason why America is turning into a country of (_____'s)

 

[Busa1166]

I'd pay a surpise visit and have a talk with him, no thumping, just talking to see if you can straighten him out.
I would think giving him a bike would only be a short term fix if anything.
If he wanted something else all he would have to do is act like a fool again.. You would be back to square one.

+1

There is an underlying problem, lack of motivation hunger for attention,perhaps feeling of resentment. Have no idea but I wouldn't want my kid riding a motorcycle till he passed the "I know everything" and "I am invincible" or the "Hey guys watch this!!!" phase of their life. Some kids don't go through it but most do, do you really want him piloting a 190 mph motorcycle through this phase, hell I wouldn't want my kid driving anything other than a restricted 4 cylinder suv.

He needs to realize if he wants to get things for himself he needs to work, to have a chance for a good job he needs that education. jmo Good luck you going to need it

 

[04Duramax]

Ummm don't take this the wrong way, and I don't know your kid.. but.. you'd be flippn crazy to give your bike to someone that young.. especially since you describe him as a show off to the ladies.. Only BAD things could come from that.

I'd pay him a visit and try to figure out what's going on.. maybe take him camping or something away from all of the distractions of the world and get down to a basic level and sort it out.

 

[RussellJ]

Tell him when he graduates college you will buy him whatever the newest gen busa is then. Trick is to make him actually think you will do it cause if he doesnt believe you nothing will change.

 

[lil charlie]

Im in the same boat as you except mine is 17 and lives in the same town. Talking doesn't do much with mine. Don't get him a busa. Offer him a smaller bike and don't set the goal so high. He may get all A' s and one B and give up. Have him meet a certain GPA like 3.75 or better. A visit may help too.

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[lil charlie]

**** that !!
How about you talk to him and tell his little ass to get his **** together or else !!!!


This is the reason why America is turning into a country of (_____'s)

Do you have any teenage kids? By the time they are 16 they are set in there ways. Telling him that wil do no good. At this point, especially since he is so far away, the only thing you can do is try to guid them in the right direction. Steering the boat for them is done by that age.



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[Pecan Pouch]

I am going to have to agree with most of the ones that commented already. I would go talk to him, figure out what is going on and get things straightened out. But I dont think the answer is giving him a busa.

I don't know the complete situation, I don't know how long you and his mother have been apart (so I don't know if that is something he is resenting) . Does he want to come live with you? Has something changed in his home life, like mom getting a new bf or something that he does not like and acting out because of that. I'm sure some of it has part to do with just being 16.

I remember my days of being 16, my parents were divorced and I never saw or hardly even talked to my father. Me thinking I knew and could do everything. My step father and I did not get along at all, it seemed that he only cared about his kids. Fortunately for me I had a neighbor that was into bikes and I spent most my time at his place learning about them, how to fix them ride them, race them. I guess all I needed was someone to talk to and guide me.

 

[VIPER]

Option 2 here also, but would add that roughing him up I dont think will get you anywhere. One possibility is that he is feeling some pain that his dad lives 1340 miles away...kind of rebelling IDK. Be sure to tell him you love him.(no thats not ghey)
It`s not too late for him...I had some troubles also my first 2 yrs of High School..then was an Honor Student the last 2.
I was never disrespectful/talk back to a teacher though.
I hope you get through to him.
If he`s in E. Nebraska, you can come up here meet with me, and I`ll try and help any way I can...keep an eye on him....show him how to hunt/fish/camp/...mow my grass

This for sure is the answer!!!! I can tell from some of the responses from some people on here that they have no children and no clue either. children of divorce have a totally different out look on life then children without that issue. sorry but its the plain simple truth. ultimately you as dad have to figure out whats best. only you know the extent and closeness of your relationship with your son. if you are close and he looks up to you fine maybe the the stern conversation may work. that usually is a good option. but if you havent got that type of relastionship with him maybe that is part of the problem. i think i would also pay a visit and spend time with him and see were his mind is at. if the respect for you is there utilize that and be a good influence. if you havent laid the ground work to have that respect in placer then start now. it never too late. 16 is not set in thier ways. i dont think at that age violence is the answer though.

 

[MLSDUKE1]

I picked number 2 cause my dad woulda kicked my ass for that. Become the Busa nazi: "NO BUSA FOR YOU!" Teach him the

 

[skydivr]

Go on a camping trip together.