Probably to much personal history but I guess I need to vent. ( I pre appologize)
Sometimes I feel like the last sane person on the planet.
After 20 years of happy blissful peaceful marriage, (this was last year) the (eX) wife gets some midlife/menopause whatever going on and hits me with a divorce. People that know us (as well as myself) would have said if there was one couple left on earth not divorced it would have been us. Well so it goes, over it and done.
At 43 I kinda figured love is pretty much BS and honestly want nothing to do with a serious relationship again.
Fast foreward to about a month ago...we got this woman I work with, a super knock out, fun to be with etc. etc...A bit younger than me and we've been friends for over a year, occasional lunch that's about it. I do know for a fact, boyfriend (who is also older than her) is quite the grade A1 A-hole. Without going into details, the a-hole lies out his arse and tells her whatever, has the emotional maturity of a 10 year old and basically treats her like one big piece of crap. She's been leaving going back and forth with Captain moron for the better part of a year.
Well, like a say, about a month ago she gets canned. We have one final lunch togather...and it hits me despite all my efforts against, like a ton of bricks. I can not stop (honest to GOD) thinking 24/7 about this woman. She is fantastic. I (at the risk of being totally sappy) could not even eat. I've lost 23 pounds to date...
I was never even like this with my ex...ever.
I'm a pretty straight foreward, honest, and decent person and have to tell her how I feel. She tell me she has feelings for me to. (I'm trying to be brief here I really am) I also do not want any part of causing additional problems at home but this is how I feel.
We talk everday and grow a bit closer, two weeks ago she must leave...not only the A-hole but the state. We meet for a good-bye for now for about an hour (took us that long) express mutal feelings...her father lives in another state and she feels honestly that something she can not explain is pulling her there.
O.K. I understand and want what's best for her, she says she has to do this but will come back. I say I am here for you blah blah mush mush.
We talk everyday with I miss you and love you etc. etc.
Five days ago...nothing, wont even return a call. I find out from a mutal friend at work who has spoken briefly that she indeed is planning to come back...AND GO BACK TO THE FRIGGEN A-HOLE.
WTF...you have no idea the disfunctial bs that goes on. What is with some women (or people) that would choose being treated like a piece of crap by a moron rather than being part of a healthy loving relationship by someone who would wake up every day and look into those beautiful eyes and thank GOD.
Sorry for the long personal BS rant, I'm never open like this but I guess this helps...and why the heck can't I even get a call ...WT...
I didn't even want to feel any of this but in truth...I would have done anything and given anything to be with her.
I just don't get it....
Sometimes I feel like the last sane person on the planet.
After 20 years of happy blissful peaceful marriage, (this was last year) the (eX) wife gets some midlife/menopause whatever going on and hits me with a divorce. People that know us (as well as myself) would have said if there was one couple left on earth not divorced it would have been us. Well so it goes, over it and done.
At 43 I kinda figured love is pretty much BS and honestly want nothing to do with a serious relationship again.
Fast foreward to about a month ago...we got this woman I work with, a super knock out, fun to be with etc. etc...A bit younger than me and we've been friends for over a year, occasional lunch that's about it. I do know for a fact, boyfriend (who is also older than her) is quite the grade A1 A-hole. Without going into details, the a-hole lies out his arse and tells her whatever, has the emotional maturity of a 10 year old and basically treats her like one big piece of crap. She's been leaving going back and forth with Captain moron for the better part of a year.
Well, like a say, about a month ago she gets canned. We have one final lunch togather...and it hits me despite all my efforts against, like a ton of bricks. I can not stop (honest to GOD) thinking 24/7 about this woman. She is fantastic. I (at the risk of being totally sappy) could not even eat. I've lost 23 pounds to date...
I was never even like this with my ex...ever.
I'm a pretty straight foreward, honest, and decent person and have to tell her how I feel. She tell me she has feelings for me to. (I'm trying to be brief here I really am) I also do not want any part of causing additional problems at home but this is how I feel.
We talk everday and grow a bit closer, two weeks ago she must leave...not only the A-hole but the state. We meet for a good-bye for now for about an hour (took us that long) express mutal feelings...her father lives in another state and she feels honestly that something she can not explain is pulling her there.
O.K. I understand and want what's best for her, she says she has to do this but will come back. I say I am here for you blah blah mush mush.
We talk everyday with I miss you and love you etc. etc.
Five days ago...nothing, wont even return a call. I find out from a mutal friend at work who has spoken briefly that she indeed is planning to come back...AND GO BACK TO THE FRIGGEN A-HOLE.
WTF...you have no idea the disfunctial bs that goes on. What is with some women (or people) that would choose being treated like a piece of crap by a moron rather than being part of a healthy loving relationship by someone who would wake up every day and look into those beautiful eyes and thank GOD.
Sorry for the long personal BS rant, I'm never open like this but I guess this helps...and why the heck can't I even get a call ...WT...
I didn't even want to feel any of this but in truth...I would have done anything and given anything to be with her.
I just don't get it....
