Im done trying to make my point. For now on when it comes to her fragile womanly emotions she is right and I am wrong. I'll save myself the trouble.
Last edited:
Women... I just don't understand them...
- Thread starter Busaman5000
- Start date
Im done trying to make my point. For now on when it comes to her fragile womanly emotions she is right and I am wrong. I'll save myself the trouble.
there is a formula for it I'll see if I can hunt it down for you 
What does a woman want?
King Arthur and the Witch: Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom.
The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch
offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question.
Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he
would be put to death.
The question?....What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most
knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was
better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.
He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise
men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a
satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she e
would have the answer. But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout
the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged. The last day of the year arrived and
Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he
would have to agree to her price first.
The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round
Table and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked
and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc.
He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force
his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the
proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to
Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.
Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's ques tion thus:
What a woman really wants, she answered....is to be in charge of her own life.
Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and
that Arthur's life would be spared.
And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot
and the witch had a wonderful wedding. The honeymoon hour approached and
Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a
sight awaited him.
The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded
Lancelot asked what had happened The beauty replied that since he had been so kind
to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed
self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half. Which would he prefer?
Beautiful during the day....or night?
Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to
his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer
having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to
enjoy wondrous intimate moments?
What would YOU do?
What Lancelot chose is below. BUT....make YOUR choice before you scroll down
below. OKAY? x x x x x x x x Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself. Upon
hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because
he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.
Now....what is the moral to this story? Scroll down. x x x x x x x x The moral is.....If you don't let a woman have her own way....Things are going to get ugly!
King Arthur and the Witch: Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom.
The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch
offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question.
Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he
would be put to death.
The question?....What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most
knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was
better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.
He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise
men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a
satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she e
would have the answer. But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout
the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged. The last day of the year arrived and
Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he
would have to agree to her price first.
The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round
Table and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked
and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc.
He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force
his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the
proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to
Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.
Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's ques tion thus:
What a woman really wants, she answered....is to be in charge of her own life.
Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and
that Arthur's life would be spared.
And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot
and the witch had a wonderful wedding. The honeymoon hour approached and
Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a
sight awaited him.
The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded
Lancelot asked what had happened The beauty replied that since he had been so kind
to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed
self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half. Which would he prefer?
Beautiful during the day....or night?
Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to
his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer
having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to
enjoy wondrous intimate moments?
What would YOU do?
What Lancelot chose is below. BUT....make YOUR choice before you scroll down
below. OKAY? x x x x x x x x Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself. Upon
hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because
he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.
Now....what is the moral to this story? Scroll down. x x x x x x x x The moral is.....If you don't let a woman have her own way....Things are going to get ugly!
Understanding Women
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
you sounded like you could use a laugh 
yes definitely
This next one should be fitting then pay close attention to number 5 and 13 
1. NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
2. EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20 , even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
3. MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.
4. BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
5. ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that... is the beginning of a new argument.
6.CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
7. FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
8. SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
9. MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change , and she does.
10. DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
11. NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
12. OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
13. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
1. NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
2. EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20 , even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
3. MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.
4. BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
5. ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that... is the beginning of a new argument.
6.CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
7. FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
8. SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
9. MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change , and she does.
10. DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
11. NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
12. OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
13. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
Im done trying to make my point. For now on when it comes to her fragile womanly emotions she is right and I am wrong. I'll save myself the trouble.
Ha, you knew the answer with out anyone telling you! You are a smart man, now the rest of your life will be peaceful if you just listen to your own advice.
I've been married for 27 years and still haven't figured them out.. ~*Sigh*~
Heck, I am one and still don't know!!!! I think we are suppose to remain a mystery! 
(((hugs))) she will have a good day at some point!
(((hugs))) she will have a good day at some point!
I know flowers help..
Have no idea why...
Have no idea why...
piratediverjefff
Registered
...if it has tits or wheels it'll give you problems.
I know flowers help..
not a sure fire thing...after listening to my wife talk about how sweet it was when the ladies she worked with would get flowers at work from thier husbands, I figured I'd do the same. (since it seemed she was dropping hints she felt left out) BIG mistake! all was good before then...about 2-3 weeks of he11 afterwards proving I didn't do any thing wrong and was trying to cover it up. (when she got her roses, they filled her in on why they were getting thiers
) it's now an inside joke, but it's also the only time in 15 years she's gotten flowers from me
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