How often do you reach your breaking point?

captain

captain

Dis in my way!
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Curious as to how often in life you just get to the point where the weight just seems unbearable. Work, family, responsibilities piling on?

Do you stay in that place all the time?

Hit is once a year, every couple of years or maybe never?

Curious to hear how many out there are just at that place when you just don't think you can take anything else...

Cap
 
There's so many increments of that feeling; I don't think I've ever hit the end of the rope as they say. Within the last year, towards the end of my career right before retirement I knew I had had enough of working, I guess that's as close as I've been. I hope you're ok as you asking this begs the question.
 
Been there SOO many times. Divorce, financial ruin, deaths, unexpected medical issues (out of nowhere). Honestly, I've become adjusted to impossibly horrible things happening on a (virtually predictable) basis ... and yet, I have managed to survive all of it, often worse off, occasionally better. Keeping my expectations low allows me to exceed them regularly
 
I hope you're ok as you asking this begs the question.
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Great call our sir..... lIsten, I'm a survivor not a victim so whatever storm I enter in life I will come out the other side. I might be a little hail damaged and wind blown but am survivor none the less. I know my pain tolerance is much higher than most and my capacity to deal with things is high but I do know when I am feeling frustrated and irritated more and more often then there are a lot of other men out there that have to be going through it too... I'm ROCK solid in my marriage, my kids are good, my grandkid is good, in perspective I don't really have any problems it's honestly I think the pressure of keeping problems from every occurring that is getting to me... it's getting harder and harder to keep things together.
 
I've lived long enough now, and been to the breaking point a few times, and what I thought was rock bottom a couple of times, until the one time I actually was...and there is nowhere but up from that place.
Many years later, I have no fear, no worry, no stress, no anxiety, and only peace.
I am a hypocrite and sinner, but put my faith in God, and come what may.
Once you learn that you control your emotions, and that they do not control you...and then you learn control...that's all there is to it.
Life is all perspective...and how you respond to it.
 
sixpack577 said:
As a man of faith @captain
you have control issues, lol...you're trying to help God in places He doesn't want or need it.
Click to expand...
Probably more truth here than you know... However, when you pray for a hole in the ground God doesn't usually just make it appear but he might just make a shovel available... I'm blessed beyond measure for sure and I just want to make sure that I am doing my part in the digging...

Cap
 
I have seen and done things that should have made me break more than a few times......I had a rough patch and thank goodness for my wife who made me go into therapy....I did that for a few years and it really helped out.

The life I lived really puts things into perspective, I sure don't get upset or angry over little things anymore.

The good news @captain is there are people out there dedicated to help, if you think you need to get help, make sure you get it....I was the last guy that I thought needed help, I was wrong....and I'm glad I was and got the help I needed.
 
It's pretty relative. I get humbled frequently about how we make choices on what allows us to feel like things are getting the best of us. I'm often reminded when I interact with patient's I transport.

Recently was an example. 3 weeks ago. Got a call for a discharge to home. New patient account.

He and his wife just retired. He's 51. She's 45. They lived somewhere expensive (like I think Connecticut ) cashed out and came here. They bought a house. And a boat. Closed on the house. Taking the boat out in celebration. He was about to step off when a wave or wake from a boat came in at a weird angle. He lost his footing, fell backwards and broke his neck.

In hospital for 45 days. Paralyzed from mid chest down. I'm the first thing they see after discharge. Have no idea what happens now. I get their healthcare plan and we start booking all his transports. He has follow ups 3 times a week for 2 months. He has bags and tubes taking care of all we take for granted. At least he can breath on his own. But couldn't do that for about a week in the hospital.

I helped them learn the ramps etc.

I went inside the home. They literally had not even unpacked from the move. They had home health and all the DME in place when we got there. She had seen it, he had not. It was the first time I saw him cry.

They are 3 weeks in with me. Some days I can tell she is about to breakdown and cry just because it's overwhelming! There is no way in hell I have anything to consider breaking over, when I look at people like this.

If he's lucky he will get enough use of his arms to feed himself someday. It's the goal they set already. He has no feeling below mid sternum.

She insist on sitting beside him every trip every time. He started to cry last week. I asked if I needed to pull over. No. He said I can feel your air conditioner blowing on my head. And it's glorious! That made her cry.

This chyt humbles the crap out of me. Whenever you think you've been thru a lot, you realize it's about perspective.

I couldn't bear to put a spouse through this. They did everything right. Came here to begin a new life after working their hearts out to do it early. To have it turn into this.

I have not asked or sensed if religion plays a part in their lives. It's 1st not relevant in our relationship. 2nd it's pretty personal. 3rd. Right now it's overwhelming them just to get through a day. I don't need to burden them with something deep.

But no God I can think of would put people through this type stuff.
 
I’ve been homeless at 14, was an alcoholic at 11. Got thrown out of one high school and quit another. My brother was murdered at 19. Went through a nasty divorce. Father died in 2013. Kidney cancer stage 3 removed in 2018. My only son passed away in 2022. Institutionalized 3 times in my life. And this is just the major events. I’ve had my share. I’m still here. Still fighting. Still struggling. Some get more than others everyone gets some. I have a saying I always use. No matter what I’ll always come out on top.
 
greg3852 said:
I’ve been homeless at 14, was an alcoholic at 11. Got thrown out of one high school and quit another. My brother was murdered at 19. Went through a nasty divorce. Father died in 2013. Kidney cancer stage 3 removed in 2018. My only son passed away in 2022. Institutionalized 3 times in my life. And this is just the major events. I’ve had my share. I’m still here. Still fighting. Still struggling. Some get more than others everyone gets some. I have a saying I always use. No matter what I’ll always come out on top.
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Shhesszz. You sure played the cards dealt ya! You've been through more than a normal share of adversity. I already know I have nothing close in comparison to have dealt with like this.
 
I think we all have things we deal with, even though, some have it a lot worse than others so I try to count my blessings and celebrate the positive things (big or really small) and not focus on the negative ones. Lately, the one thing I’ve been thinking about a lot is how my dad started working at 7 years of age (rough 3rd world country life) and when he finally decided to retire, cancer got him. He’s been gone for over a decade but I always think about how we get so wrapped up in this rat race that we forget we might not wake up tomorrow and everything and everyone will stay behind, so not sure why most of us stress so much about live/work. I’ve been dealing with some health issues and doctors are telling me is stress, so I’ve been trying to “care less” about work crap and get more involve in other activities. I’ve seen and heard plenty of disheartening stories like @TallTom shared above so they are a great reminder of how blessed we are to be healthy enough to be riding motorcycles. Maybe I should sell my property, take the equity to buy a piece of land, slap a single wide or small cabin in the middle and be mortgage free with a much less stressful job.
 
My old man was in AA forever
The serenity prayer was framed on the wall of my parents bedroom
as well as several other rooms
Musta heard it recited a thousand times
it meant a lot to them
so much so I put it on their gravestone. LOL
Always thought it was good advice.

2012-06-17151703_zps7e92d442.jpg


cheers
ken

p.s. had to get the bike in the shot. LOL
 
captain said:
Great call our sir..... lIsten, I'm a survivor not a victim so whatever storm I enter in life I will come out the other side. I might be a little hail damaged and wind blown but am survivor none the less. I know my pain tolerance is much higher than most and my capacity to deal with things is high but I do know when I am feeling frustrated and irritated more and more often then there are a lot of other men out there that have to be going through it too... I'm ROCK solid in my marriage, my kids are good, my grandkid is good, in perspective I don't really have any problems it's honestly I think the pressure of keeping problems from every occurring that is getting to me... it's getting harder and harder to keep things together.
Click to expand...
That which does not bend, breaks. Good words to remember.
 
I sort of felt I was a rock and it was me against anything the world had to throw at me. I sort of saw life as a journey full of challenges, and I was going to win. That attitude got me through some amazing things (nothing like @Bumblebee but pretty crazy situations). I never saw this life as something I was owed, and I was going to fight right up until the last second. I never allowed myself to think there wasn't something I could have done to change the outcomes in my life.

One day I was talking to an acquaintance who was a therapist (which I didn't know when I met them). We talked a lot, and they were amazing at helping me see the "strong" position in almost any situation. Talking to them was less like waving the white flag and more like consulting a wise general for new strategies to bring into the fight. When I found out they were a therapist, it changed how I saw that profession.

So, the most obvious sign you need to see someone is that you don't think you need to see someone. As the saying goes, the mighty oak stands strong but breaks suddenly. The palm bends at the slightest breeze yet pops up after the most powerful hurricane to live on.
 
wreckwriter said:
Near the end of 2020 I lost my 13 year old son to gun suicide. Crushing grief, horrible guilt. Every day. It still gets me sometimes and there's nothing I can do but cry. Most days I'm sort of OK. I get through it because I have to. Other people are still counting on me.

View attachment 1669399
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There are no words to express such a loss especially with one so young and an entire life ahead of them.........

I've lost subordinates to suicide, in two cases I was the last person to speak to them and with all the suicide prevention training I had, I didn't pick up on any issues.....it made me really question this sort of training....

Although these suicides were not on the same level as your loss and I would never minimize your grief, I can sort of identify with the guilt you possess...
 
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