Aint life a b#%#@

[lot boy]

nutshell version follows:
my mom married a guy when i was five- after a fun filled childhood in bar after bar i left home at 17 and they soon devorced.
though he taught me everything i know (wich isnt a good thing come to find out) we havent spoke but a couple times in 15 years- both of us too proud and hard headed i guess.
last week my brother told me his dad (my stepdad) has about 6 months to live. After about a week i broke down and called him- it was a 13 minute call that i wish i never made.
it basically confirmed he was dying and thats about it.

now i dunno what to think-- do i call him again or let him die with me "outta site outta mind"-- i dunno, this whole thing sux azz.

turns out spending vast amounts of time in smoke filled bars isnt as healthy as we thought- he has large tumors on his liver and lung cancer---
man this blows

 

[jwcfbd]

sorry to hear about your stepdad

 

[Southside Playa]

Hey, so whatever you feel as far as communicating with him. DOn't let annymosity hold you back from talkin to the cat. YOu don't want to look back years from now and feel as if you wish you would have said whatever. Hindsight is 20-20, yeah he may not have been what you needed him to be in your life but, everything happens for a reason. Give him a little compasion, it won't cost a thing, and it may make his last few months a lil better. I promise you'll feel better down the road.

 

[lot boy]

Hey, so whatever you feel as far as communicating with him. DOn't let annymosity hold you back from talkin to the cat. YOu don't want to look back years from now and feel as if you wish you would have said whatever. Hindsight is 20-20, yeah he may not have been what you needed him to be in your life but, everything happens for a reason. Give him a little compasion, it won't cost a thing, and it may make his last few months a lil better. I promise you'll feel better down the road.

i dunno if me talkin to him will make things better or worse.
im thinkin he doesnt want to talk to me by the length of our last call-- his choice i guess

 

[rrookey]

Hey Lot boy,
I lost my Dad a few months back to lung cancer, yep it sucks, we were never that close but I made peace with him before he left us, I feel a lot better knowing that I did that, you have to do what is right for you! as when he passes you are going to be the one here with the choice you made.... do what is right for you....

 

[mjn]

Hey, so whatever you feel as far as communicating with him. DOn't let annymosity hold you back from talkin to the cat. YOu don't want to look back years from now and feel as if you wish you would have said whatever. Hindsight is 20-20, yeah he may not have been what you needed him to be in your life but, everything happens for a reason. Give him a little compasion, it won't cost a thing, and it may make his last few months a lil better. I promise you'll feel better down the road.

+1 Great advice!

 

[georgiabusa_05]

do what your heart tells you. good luck.

 

[hbr]

Good luck with your decision.  Do what you feel in your heart.  You won't have a second chance here.

 

[Big Wall]

You have to do what makes you feel ok. My wife's father ran off right after she was born. From teh time she was 12 until she was 26 she didn't hear anything from him. She wouldn't blink if she heard bad news about him and she is probably the nicest person I have ever met. Figure out what you need to do for your own peace of mind.

 

[STUNNAH]

Good advise from the other members...Evidently your conscience (spelling) has gotten to you...I know how you feel in regard to disfunctional relationships sometimes it takes an event like this for the healing to begin...It's bothering you so man up if you don't you may regret the rest of your life...

 

[adrenaline junkey]

sorry to hear

i would try to keep the communication lines oped for anything after all ya don't want to look back and say wish i would have done it different

6 months isn't long enough so make the most of it

 

[kod3001]

Sorry to hear about it Lot Boy. Sorry I don't know you, but I would say this...

if you can talk to him and make things straight with him (if you can)... at least at the moment you have the choice whether to do it or not. In 6 months you won't, you may live to regret it for the rest of your life, like the others said.

 

[GJoker]

I think you should also look at it from your brother's point of view~ You two obviously share a good bond~ How does he truly feel about the situation? Don't let whatever is up between you and your brother's dad get in the way of what you have with him~ I'd be asking what his thoughts are on it all...

 

[FloydV]

Hey, so whatever you feel as far as communicating with him. DOn't let annymosity hold you back from talkin to the cat. YOu don't want to look back years from now and feel as if you wish you would have said whatever. Hindsight is 20-20, yeah he may not have been what you needed him to be in your life but, everything happens for a reason. Give him a little compasion, it won't cost a thing, and it may make his last few months a lil better. I promise you'll feel better down the road.

i dunno if me talkin to him will make things better or worse.
im thinkin he doesnt want to talk to me by the length of our last call-- his choice i guess

If you feel that he doesn't want to talk then don't, and don't feel guilty. Sounds like you guys weren't that tight, at least recently. The fact that he is dying really doesn't change anything.

Not trying to minimize his death or your natural sorrow about the situation. I feel for the both of you.