worst, dumbist, craziest thing thats happened

[BusaJim08]

Okay back in the mid 90's I went out to california with some friends to the races at laguna seca. We trailered our bikes, i had a 1990 FZR 1000 (loved that bike)after being there a week, I broke off from the group and road mine back going up the coast then going through Sacramento and then through Rereno on my way to home at the time in Utah. just after going through Reno I thought I would open it up all the way going through the desert.I had never topped out this bike. There was almost no traffic but there was one or two cars. So I got it up arround 185 and as I looked at the car I was passing it was all blue and a Nevada highway patrol. I slowed as there really was no place to go for 100's of miles. The popo screammed and yelled at me for over an hour but never gave me a ticket as he did not radar me while I came up from behind.I never even thought about different colored popo cars as Cali had all been balck and whites. A little scarry but all turned out okay.

 

[Yorad]

I've got two because well... im just that much of a genious i was 14 and i lived at my dads house during the summers up in illinois and he had this lil pos kawi that i could ride and it was one that if you got it rolling fast enough in first gear and dumped the clutch it would start well i decided to sneak out of my dads house and he had a really steep hill for a driveway well i had cleaned the bike up earlyer to have it nice looking when i snuck out so i rolled it out of the house and got down to the end of the road to dump the clutch so i could start it without waking him up and when i let the clutch out all i heard was just that high rev scream from it and next thing i know the bike shot right across the neighbors yard into their tree so as i hit the ground i feel something else im being stung by hornets all over i disturbed a nest and they where attacking me while the bike was running wide open with the exhaust laying flat on my thigh the next thing i know my dad came across the street picked the bike up off of me beat the crap out of me, when i was cleaning the bike i snapped the throttle cord with it being stuck in wide open throttle i still have a nice burn from the pipe on my leg ohh and by the way im allergic to hornets so it was a wonderfull night i spent in the er with my dad ready to kill me

the other one was 4 years ago i had a bought a 1988 vw cabrio convertable for 400 dollars it was blue with a red hood, blue ducktape roof, a hole in the muffler the size of a football so it sounded like a tractor it was truly a beast ohh the greates part was the odometer was broken at 880k miles and it sounded like a popcorn maker when you took corners, well me and one of my buddies were driving to one of my friends house on the fourth of july and were goin through this fancy neighborhood and i see this big pile of yard trimmings and sticks so i decided to ram it ... always great and we made a yard trimmings bomb go everywhere laughed and got to my friends house my car was still running and i got out to talk to another one of my friends at their truck and smoke started to come out of my hood so i went ot turn my car off cause i didn't really care i wasn't driving anywhere else that night and we went into his garage and next thing i saw a light coming up the drivway i turned around thinking someone else was pulling up and theres flames coming out the hood of my car ... absolutely amazing and breathtakingly funny so we grab his fire extingusher put it out with that and a hose and pop the hood to see what happened and the twigs i hit broke the fuel line loose spilling gas on my exhaust manifold were the stick was sitting which was dry and caught on fire so we laughed and my buddie pudge was shooting off bottle rockets and one hit the car again only this time it all went up it was a giant ball of fury that would go out for about 20 minutes ... yet agian im just that special

The craziest thing I have done today is read this post with no punctuation.  

That's why my eyes are watering! Good stories, the first one for sure, but those are the longest sentences in history.

If you hold down the "shift" key you can make capital letters too! haha

 

[Yorad]

So here's mine:

I had 1995 Yamaha FZR600 in college which I bought wrecked.  I put new (new to me) plastic on but I didn't have the cash left over to replace the starter relay under the tail section that got damaged.  Instead a wired a push button starter under my seat from the battery directly to the starter solenoid, so anytime you pushed that button the starter turned over regardless of ignition position, gear selection, kickstand, etc.  

So I started talking to this girl I really liked that was a few years older than me and I convinced her to let me take her out for a ride and some dinner even though she was nervous about riding.  I showed up and parked on the sidewalk in front of her house.  I ran through all my rules and signals for the ride with her, which usually makes girls more comfortable knowing you have a plan.  Then as I'm standing by the bike I flip the key on and reach under the seat to push the starter button and of course... it's in gear!

The bike leaps forward off the kickstand and I immediately jump to grab it, but it's just a LITTLE too far gone and it slowly goes to the ground, almost taking me down with it.

I actually got her to still ride with me and go to dinner, but my pride and confidence never really recovered and it was just awkward from then on out.

 

[Mr Bogus]

The classic forgot to put my feet down when I stopped story but it was not me that did it, some big bad azz eat small animals for lunch harley club guy I bought a bike from (My BSA lightning) We had to get the title notarized (AZ) so off to the big bad guy harley shop and we pulled up and he just fricken tipped over and this monster pan head is laying on him...

OMG if I laugh this guy is going to rip off my sac and throw me across the street... He is staring right at me whilst I try and stifle myself...


Him "Ok rice rocket boy, get this POS off me"
Scared me "Only if you dont kill me when I start laughing"
Him "how bout I kill you anyway?"
Not scared me "coming right over"

***** VanSlambrock was his name and I bet he still lives in Mesa... (and I am still laughing)

 

[Mr Bogus]

So here's mine:

I had 1995 Yamaha FZR600 in college which I bought wrecked. I put new (new to me) plastic on but I didn't have the cash left over to replace the starter relay under the tail section that got damaged. Instead a wired a push button starter under my seat from the battery directly to the starter solenoid, so anytime you pushed that button the starter turned over regardless of ignition position, gear selection, kickstand, etc.

Just like the "stall your bike" thing with babes at stoplights...

 

[MPH 200]

About 4 years ago I had a 1986 VF1000R completely restored parked in my garage next to my 1980's Porsche 930 Turbo Slantnose, also completely restored. I needed a can of paint off a shelf so I figured I could stand on the pegs of the bike to reach it. WRONG IDEA. Bike fell over into Porsche denting RR fender & cracking front fairing on the bike. I was so mad I almost started crying. I had to get my 5'3" Wife to help get the 630 pound bike off the poor abused Porsche. THAT SUCKED

 

[BadWeather]

OK heres one it's December 2007 just picked up my brand new 2008 Busa from a dealer about 2 hours from home. I trailered the bike home becuase it's 15 degrees outside. I have a fairly steep driveway so untrailer the bike at the bottom and tell my 3 year old I'm going to drive the bike into the garage and to wait for me there. So I start it up and let it warm up and decide to just ride it down to the end of the street and then into the garage no problem except A mode on cold brand new tires. As I turn into the driveway the bike slides out from under me and I completely trash the right side of my new bike with all of 1 mile on it. My three year old is jumping up and down saying he wants to do that too. The only good thing about this is the only thing on me that got hurt was my pride and I had called and gotten insurance before I picked up the bike so have been able to do all my mods with the insurance money.

 

[valkyriemc]

1968 was the year, a 1967 corvette 327,350 hp, 4 speed convertible was the car. Running hard south bound down M39 (Southfield Expressway) in Detroit about midnight after spending the evening street racing on Telegraph road. Going home I redlined it in every gear and saw 140 as my exit came up suddenly. Poor judgement due to age and a girfriend in the car caused me to take the 35 mph exit. We slid quite a ways, eventually ending up sideways in an empty intersection. Backing out of the street we noticed the car smelled bad, I got out and saw all four wheels were smoking and hot. Discovered the next day that the brakes were shot. The Stingray wasn't mine....

 

[redvoodoo]

As a teenager, some friends and I went for a night of partying. I was the driver that night and drove my car home (1977 Trans Am) and pulled in the drive way, which is on a hill. Instead of putting the stickshift into reverse I was a little tipsy and accidentally put it in 3rd gear. When I woke up the next day around noon, I stumbled out of bed and tried to shake the previous night off. I finally looked out the window and across the street was my neighbor mowing his lawn on his rider. He was mowing around my car which had rolled down the driveway and across the street and into his yard. I was a little embarrassed while removing it.

 

[heykenny]

the night I quit drinking before riding ; 1983.. new GS1100E.. out from club to club.. beer here and a beer there.. getting late, time for a country ride,, slippin' sliding.. wheelies.. 100 mph. having a good ol' time.. decide to go out to a buddies place(guaranted to still be up-notorious for his after parties) come flying down the driveway,slide to a stop.. what!? no lights... no party!? where is everybody? hop off the bike.. forget to put the stand down, realize my mistake too late,, bike and I flat on the ground in the driveway. hop up as fast as possible, pick the bike up.. put the stand down. I here a noise from the porch... see a glowing cherry from Joes cig.. my buddy was standing there watching the whole thing, and in the calmest voice he could muster.. "betcha thought nobody saw that huh?"

 

[BlkDrgnZ28]

The craziest thing I have done today is read this post with no punctuation.  

That's why my eyes are watering!  Good stories, the first one for sure, but those are the longest sentences in history.  

If you hold down the "shift" key you can make capital letters too! haha[/quote]
hey i don't get on here for typin lessings  

lol its like the tenth time that someones made fun of me for that ...... ( <--- thats punctuation) but i really don't see me ever using proper punctuation its just not really my thing

 

[BlkDrgnZ28]

The craziest thing I have done today is read this post with no punctuation.  

That's why my eyes are watering!  Good stories, the first one for sure, but those are the longest sentences in history.  

If you hold down the "shift" key you can make capital letters too! haha[/quote]
hey i don't get on here for typin lessings

lol its like the tenth time that someones made fun of me for that ...... ( <--- thats punctuation) but i really don't see me ever using proper punctuation its just not really my thing

 

[CanadienMike]

Don't worry 'bout the critiquers BlkDrgnZ28. I liked your story and was easy to understand. Punctuated or not.

MIke B

 

[solarbarack]

O.k. I have a good bad one. The person I had this problem with is on this and another board. Here it goes. I bought some items from a member I think back in September, or October. I sent my paypal, which I use often. I waited like two weeks, and get an E-mail from this seller. He is quite tee'd off, saying stuff like, what the hell is going on, the cops called his house, what kind of man am I, ect. ect. I have no clue what this is about. A few seconds later I get a call it's from my sister screaming, calling me all kinds of names. Then I figured out what happened. It turns out, paypal for some unknown reason used a different confirmed address then my default one. I have a few of them, because I live about five hundred miles from my familly so I usually buy stuff online, and have a few confirmed addresses that I use to send these items to my family. Well my sister got this package addressed to my niece, with sharp metal objects in it. My sister freaks out, and goes to the police. In this day and age can you blame her. They track the package back to this guy wondering why he would send such a thing, to such a little girl. I ended up having to call everyone and apologize for this mess. Thank god the seller was understanding. Again I'm sorry if you end up reading this.

Lesson to learn, guys check your addresses when checking out.