What's the funniest thing you've ever witnessed?

jwest said:
busa josh we've seen the movie step brothers...:whistle:
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Yah? I donno what that is.. never heard of it. But if you've seen ANYTHING remotely close to my life story it's because someone was probably watching me.. and made a show about it or something... its not the first time its happened to me... my life's just that cool. Yah... that cool man.

Want me to tell you bout the time i got a job driving Nascar? Cause if they were gonna make a show about that I'd pick Tom Cruise to play me.. and that'd be pretty cool. Too bad he's all tied up making dumb movies.
 
Funny Ha Ha or Funny strange? Funny Ha Ha is Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize. Funny Strange is Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize
 
My dad witnessed in the 20's a man run over by a subway in NYC. some nut in the crowd
yelled: "all this blood and me without a straw!" everybody was horrified.
 
Many years ago in my previous life when I had horses it was not unusual to take them to a car wash and spray them down along with the horse trailer. Anyhooooooo, while I was waiting my turn in line I began to watch this guy who just finished spraying his car down with water and was ready to soap it up. He was scrubbing with that brush all over his car and nothing was coming out, not one single sud. He turned it up to his face and looked real close as to determine what the problem was...nothing....he started shaking the attachment and still nothing. He once more turned it around and looking closely down at the brush when finally a big glop of white foam came spitting out right into his face. It was like car wash porno. I though I was gonna fall out of the truck laughing. Frustrated and embarrassed he threw the brush down and left.
 
We had a real fat pony when we were kids, & played "bullfighting" with it with a red jacket. When it was my youngest brothers turn, the pony charged as usual, mad as hell, lil brother turned & ran , the pony got him right between the shoulder blades with her teeth, picked him up, shook him, & slammed him face first into the ground. He screamed like a little girl....well, I thought it was funny.
 
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When our neighbor got a CB base station and a portable CB, het brought it around to another neighbor's rifle range to show off to the local guys (everything the man had was "better than yours"). He went through the whole "kbxx calling home base XY104 blah blah" crap when his wife suddenly came back "Fulton, you get back up here & take this garbage out!". The old timer there quickly pointed out "Gee Fulton, I think I could do without one of those" :laugh: I still avoid carrying a phone.
 
we were driving to meet with friends one day in a buddy's truck. he has a big set of train horns and a HUGE air tank, so he can let them ring out for a while. I'm in the back seat, his wife was up front with him. All of a sudden he flips the switch and I hear the air compressor kick in. We start driving down the road and I see two kids riding their bikes along the side of the road in a field. Not two seconds later we are right beside one and my friend lays into the train horn. The kid freaks out, looks like he about pooped his pants and swerved directly up the hill and just falls over. His buddy walks up to him and once we all saw he was ok, starts laughing his ass off. We drove back past a little while later, the same kids were playing but stopped as we drove past :whistle:
 
I think the funniest thing I ever witnessed is about to happen. (although I will be unable to witness it ) It will be Semi riding biotch behind KSbugsphotog :rofl::rofl:

woohoo, i get to ride biotch behind my hero you actually made me choke i started laughing so hard

Please dont ban me, dont ban me :please:
 
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My brother getting bit in the crotch by a dalmation is up there.

Guy pulled out of the smoke shop and was so interested in his conquest of cigs he drove next to me on the wrong side of a divided highway for about half a mile. Got to a traffic light and realised he's going the wrong way.

Local wanna be stunter guy tried to stand on tank on main street in front of everybody. He got up there but missed the pegs on the way down and his feet hit the pavement. This was his seconf bike to thrash and we had a wager on how long it would take. Luckily he limped away.
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when i was about 7(?) i was at my sitter's house after school as usual. she had a son my age and he was teaching me to play baseball. i was very excited because i liked throwing and playing catch etc. so he instructs me that i will pitch the ball to him. if he hits it i must tag him with it before he rounds the bases back to home. if i do he's out and i bat and if i don't he scores and bats again.

it took a pitch or two to get things right.. then he hit a nice one and i ran and got it. just as he was rounding third i threw the ball as hard as i could and hit him right in the ear. common sense isnt something learned that young i dont think. i thought id done good... he screamed for mommy and cried for a good bit...



he got me back a short time later. my grandpa had given me a golf putter, cut down to size for me. i had this at my sitter's house and her son and i were playing with it in the front yard. i remember it was very cold and there was some ice on the ground that day. he asked to give the putter a try.. so i stood behind him and slightly to his left... i didnt realize that he didn't know it was a putter and not a driver. i also didn't remember that he was a lefty. two errors on my part which equaled a putter being swung backward with full force and striking me directly in my ear... the putter making contact with my freezing ear and then the outside of my skull dropped me straight to the ground... im pretty sure i died for a minute or two.
 
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I watched a guy throw a temper tantrum at the golf course, threw his bag in the water and stormed off...a couple mins later with all of us chuckling he came back waded in retrieved his car keys and threw the bag back in the water....stormed off never to be seen again.
 
My friends' girlfriends' mongrel ate the crotch out of his underwear:whistle::laugh:
 
roached said:
I watched a guy throw a temper tantrum at the golf course, threw his bag in the water and stormed off...a couple mins later with all of us chuckling he came back waded in retrieved his car keys and threw the bag back in the water....stormed off never to be seen again.
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Now, THAT is funny :rofl:
 
I worked at UPS while in college. After work one night one of the guys was in his Maverick revving the engine loudly, with his window down, says "Want to see some tire?". We egged him on & when he dumped the clutch he was in reverse. Car wheel hopped backwards & hit a package car so hard that is lifted his wheels of fthe ground & he was stuck there :laugh: 3'rd package car he hit while I wwas there, go figure.
 
Years ago 4 of us were at a lake north of home, staying in a hotel and spending the say at the lake. Being all guys, doors were never locked.
I walked into the bathroom one time when Mike was showering, and saw through the curtain he was lying on his back with the shower running, and 'winding his watch' with fury.

I snuck out of the bathroom, got to the balcony outside and roared in laughter. The other 3 of us found everything we could get ice and water in, garbage cans, bowls, coolers, filled them to the top with water and ice, snuck in and poured it over the top of the shower.
When the howling stopped, a very blue faced shy frozen and embarassed Mike entered the living room, and we all howled again.

To this day, he is known as 'the watch winder'.
 
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