Instagram and Kids!?!?! Advice please




Is social media like Instagram cause for alarm

  • No leave her alone as long as she's good

    Votes: 4 57.1%
  • Yes, keep her off social sites cuz that's where demons lurk

    Votes: 3 42.9%

  • Total voters
    7

Blanca BusaLess

Suffers from PBSD
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#1
14yr old daughter has like 700 'followers' (a term that really makes dad nervous).
I'm already to the point to where I'm ready to have her delete the entire acct as well as a couple other accts like 'Vine' and things. She's in tears at the thought of losing all her 'history' (which is laughable to me). But I don't want to rattle her cage for no reason.
So anyone with teenage kids that have this? Is this just normal teen stuff these days or not?
700 followers to me is just scary.

Vabs, Skydivr any help?
 

ATC'er

Registered
#3
I have a teenage son, and a daughter who'll be a teenager in a year, and they don't own smartphones or have Facebook accounts. I find it much easier to just avoid all of that stuff out of the gate so that it's one less distraction for them.
 
#4
I have a teenage son, and a daughter who'll be a teenager in a year, and they don't own smartphones or have Facebook accounts. I find it much easier to just avoid all of that stuff out of the gate so that it's one less distraction for them.
Repress it now all you want. You'll pay 2x later. It's not going away and the more you squash it and poo poo it the more intriguing it becomes.
I'd rather manage it knowingly than fighting it deceitfully. Honesty and trust are huge with me and the wife.

Blanca, make sure the settings and content being shared are what you and the wife approve of. First and foremost is the on/off location service.
Random followers looking at pictures is what it is, you do not want them tracking her down. Keep an open line of communication, keep her aware of who is actually out there, have those horrible real discussions about predators and pedophiles, sex offenders. Make her understand it's a very dangerous world and protecting her privacy and integrity are and should be paramount. You guys are heads up parents, stay connected and trust her. It's a very different world as to when you and I were growing up.
 
#5
Repress it now all you want. You'll pay 2x later. It's not going away and the more you squash it and poo poo it the more intriguing it becomes.
I'd rather manage it knowingly than fighting it deceitfully. Honesty and trust are huge with me and the wife.

Blanca, make sure the settings and content being shared are what you and the wife approve of. First and foremost is the on/off location service.
Random followers looking at pictures is what it is, you do not want them tracking her down. Keep an open line of communication, keep her aware of who is actually out there, have those horrible real discussions about predators and pedophiles, sex offenders. Make her understand it's a very dangerous world and protecting her privacy and integrity are and should be paramount. You guys are heads up parents, stay connected and trust her. It's a very different world as to when you and I were growing up.
Great post, my daughter had instagram but we took her phone away once we saw that she was cursing, she also made mention that she wasn't listening while in class, her phone has been in a drawer for 3 months because she didn't follow our rules, she might get it back before school starts, maybe....
 

GsxrBots

Motorboatin' Moonpies, Gangnam Style
Registered
#6
My 11 year old nephew uses instagram, and it's fairly harmless. I've seen him "like" worse things on Facebook.
 
#7
Repress it now all you want. You'll pay 2x later. It's not going away and the more you squash it and poo poo it the more intriguing it becomes.
I'd rather manage it knowingly than fighting it deceitfully. Honesty and trust are huge with me and the wife.

Blanca, make sure the settings and content being shared are what you and the wife approve of. First and foremost is the on/off location service.
Random followers looking at pictures is what it is, you do not want them tracking her down. Keep an open line of communication, keep her aware of who is actually out there, have those horrible real discussions about predators and pedophiles, sex offenders. Make her understand it's a very dangerous world and protecting her privacy and integrity are and should be paramount. You guys are heads up parents, stay connected and trust her. It's a very different world as to when you and I were growing up.
I couldnt have said it better myself
 

rubbersidedown

BUSA-RIDIN'-BASTID
Donating Member
Registered
#8
Repress it now all you want. You'll pay 2x later. It's not going away and the more you squash it and poo poo it the more intriguing it becomes.
I'd rather manage it knowingly than fighting it deceitfully. Honesty and trust are huge with me and the wife.

Blanca, make sure the settings and content being shared are what you and the wife approve of. First and foremost is the on/off location service.
Random followers looking at pictures is what it is, you do not want them tracking her down. Keep an open line of communication, keep her aware of who is actually out there, have those horrible real discussions about predators and pedophiles, sex offenders. Make her understand it's a very dangerous world and protecting her privacy and integrity are and should be paramount. You guys are heads up parents, stay connected and trust her. It's a very different world as to when you and I were growing up.
....and here I thought all this guy was good for was a nice gravy. :laugh:

If some stalkers were to show up Blanca...I know some pretty intimidating looking:hijack:'s

RSD.
 
#9
Involvement is the key! My two boys have facebook and other social media access but we have access to their accounts. I have all of the passwords and we made it clear we will look and check often and we do. We also made it clear that we will take their phones, ipods whatever and check them often also. I have actually taken their IPods out of their hands and spot checked what they were doing and they understand that can happen at any time. They are well aware of the consequences of violating the rules.

There are so many ways for kids to communicate on social media now it is a losing battle. Make your expectations clear and enforce the rules. As they get older you have to hope they choose the right path and guide them when they don't.

So far I have only needed to change the WPA key on my router once and that only lasted a few days.
 
#10
I agree as much as I want to suppress it I don't. Keep an eye on all the accounts make sure your a follower even if you fake an account to follow. Buy a good keystroke counter as well jist to make sure she is not hiding anything. Then just hope and pray that you taught her well
 

skydivr

Jumps from perfectly good Airplanes
Donating Member
#11
Saiid, my daughter has instagram on her phone, I don't know enough about it (someone repeat "make you a follower" part, and what that does). My wife looks at every text my daughter sends/receives (lots of times after my daughter goes to sleep so she doen't see it coming and delete stuff). 700 followers seems like too many to me, I think I'd cut out the 'followers' i didn't know (i.e. strangers)...
 

BlondeOnaBusa

Just call me B.O.B
Moderator
Registered
#12
Yeah, 700 followers does seem like a lot. I would let her keep the account but look at it and have her delete anyone who isn't a personal friend that she actually knows. Sit down next to her at the computer and go through the followers list. tell her that your only doing this because you care and want whats best. Girls can be so fragile at this age and you don't want to cause a riff between y'all. It may not seem like much to you but this is kinda her world. Set rules and maybe tell her you and your wife have to approve anyone she wants to add to her followers list.
Good luck and go give her a hug and tell her you love her.
 
#13
Instagram isn't necessarily a problem, being addicted to online attention could be though. 700 followers that she likely doesn't know? Ehhhhhh don't like the sound of it.
 

skydivr

Jumps from perfectly good Airplanes
Donating Member
#15
I talked to my wife. She's a follower on my daughter's account. My daughter has about 30 followers, and my wife knows who they all are. She says my daughter rarely posts or comments, just mostly likes.

My Daughter doesn't know my wife reads all her mail. If my wife sees something going wrong, the intent is to drop hints to see if my daugher will correct HERSELF, and if not THEN let her know we can watch at any time to reinforce the hint, the last resort being outright confiscation. WE'd rather HER police HERSELF than us police her...

Given what I've heard from my wife Saiid, I'd clear up the followers that your daughter/wife/you dont' personally know.
 

VaBusa

oRg Gal
Staff member
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#16
Tough subject for any parent...and we're all different.

For me, I would rather just talk to my boys about all that's out there that's "bad", and I tell them often that I monitor what they do online. I really don't that much, mostly because I don't want them to not have any privacy. I recall being of a certain age and had my parents known all I did know, well, let's just say they likely would have locked me up :laugh:

Both of my boys are now on Facebook; my ex-husband's girlfriend questioned why I allowed this, and I was happy that my ex simply said "Hey, she's their mother, she's on Facebook (he is not), and I trust her judgement." I keep tabs on them somewhat there, and they know that, but the truth is kids will be kids and they will test boundaries no matter how much we wish they wouldn't. My sons are almost 11 and 13 now, and I think back to what I knew and did at those ages and I cringe...

Everyone's different, but I think keeping the lines of communication open is the BEST way to handle anything like this with our kids. I'm honest with mine, I tell them both that there are bad people in the world, that there are child-predators that will do horrible things to them if they are ever given the chance, that it's up to them to really work hard to keep themselves safe "online" when Mom and Dad can't. So far, everything seems to be going very well and I think allowing them to be a part of social media empowers them just enough to not crave it or whine because so-and-so has it, and they don't...it's a mixed bag, but I'd rather be in the know and explain to them the dangers that exist over just pretending they won't be exposed to certain things...

It's tough Blanca; wish there were an easy answer...
 

skydivr

Jumps from perfectly good Airplanes
Donating Member
#17
My daughter is still too young and scared to have that strong 'talk'. She can't hardly go upstairs by herself because she's afraid someone will kidnap her (not even thinking about what they might do to her if they got her) so I'm having to put that conversation off and just tell her I'm there to protect her and NOBODY is getting past me...
 

Blanca BusaLess

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#18
I do read her texts from time to time. She doesn't delete any of the convo chains. I read em and they read like typical teenage stuff. Really nothing to worry about there. We did talk and that's what I told her, either delete the entire acct or we are going to sit down and delete every single person she can't say she knows directly.
 

skydivr

Jumps from perfectly good Airplanes
Donating Member
#19
Ask her: "With 700 followers, what do you think the odds are that at least ONE of them is a pervert?"
 

Blanca BusaLess

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#20
That was my point exactly Keith. She knows probably 30-50 of them and the rest are total strangers 'liking' pics of my daughter. That I DONT LIKE.
 

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