fearing death = fearing life

[WWJD]

Let's talk about death. Those with a queasy point of view should click "Back Arrow" right now. Are you still with me? Great. Those few here that know me in the flesh know I'm not some depressed, dooms-dayer bent on impressing the fact that we are all gonna die someday, but I want to say this: We are all going to be dead from this earth someday. Apparently, it's not a very respectable topic to bring up at family reunions or even when loved ones are in the hospital, but maybe it should be. It seems so many people are afraid of death they just don't want to think about it, let alone TALK about it with people that care the most: friends, family, ... the dog... and even though they don't talk about it, it DOES exist in the back of everyone's mind shaping the way you live your life everyday. These sound familiar:
When is my time to go?
Will it hurt?
I can't stand the thought of no longer BEING in existance forever! Total blackness without knowing me anymore.
Is there really a 'heaven'?
Am I going to hell?

Ok, so death sucks and no one really wants to admit it but death is still 100% fatal and it always will be.

Where the heck am I going with all this? Simply put: fearing death MAKES you fear life. Everyday you wake up that subliminal voice tells you a million things to do to keep death away - often times that voice is too loud and some folks live in fear of everything: cancer, colesteral, ozone, smog, jogging, lead paint, freeways, terrorists, germs, neighbors, acid rain, God, Satan, people who drive fast bikes... whatever. Obviously your trained common sense keeps you from stepping in front of moving traffic, but what else is your sense keeping you from? I used to hate roller coasters - later read as "Feared them" Why? I donnu, perhaps fear of flying off and dieing? I bet it was. So fear of death, yet again, kept me from enjoying roller coasters. Finally, I decidded to fix that. I noticed tons and tons and MORE TONS of people getting on/off roller coasters and, amazingly, they all lived! I was stunned. hmmmmm what are the odds MY 2 inch think steel tubed, locked down harness would come loose and *I* would go flying off into the park landing on my small child or something, snapping my neck and killing the both of us? Pretty dang slim. I could also slip in the shower and break my neck - and I shower EVERY DAY [sometimes twice] so maybe I need to rethink my perspective here. That was all I needed and now I have ridden on some of the world greatest roller coasters and found amazing enjoyment out of it - I would have NEVER experienced had I kept fearing death. Death IS coming to me and I have ALWAYS known that... but I didn't really know it was already affecting me.

I DON'T WANT DEATH AFFECTING ME UNTIL I DIE.

Think about that. I'm not saying everyone should skydive or take up speed boat racing, just think about how fear of death maybe affecting your life today. Now.

It manifests in other forms too: how many hands do you shake? OH! Might catch a germ! Germs wash off - lack of HUMAN CONTACT can affect you for ever. Better not buy those too expensive shoes... gotta save for retirement so I will have enough money to very slowly die quietly without much pain.... RATHER THAN LIVE TODAY BY ENJOYING THOSE SHOES YOU HAVE EARNED THE RIGHT TO ENJOY BY YOUR HARD WORK IN THE NOW. Again, death affect you WHILE YOU ARE LIVING.

Everyone has parents or grandparents that have passed away. If you don't yet, trust me, you will. Probably someoen you really love and can not imagine ever being without also. Are you mentally and emotionally prepared for that? You should be: you already KNOW it is going to happen. You do not have to live in the dread but you are allowed to make the conscious choice to live better because of it.

If you KNOW something is going to happen, you can do something about it. You know death is coming, you can't change that, but you can change what you do with your time from this day until that time of death happens. If you spend you time between now and then reacting to things as if something you do now can change the outcome of death, well then, my fiend, you are not really living, but processing time, almost LOOKING FORWARD to the end. Time to rethink that strategy. Decide how death is affecting you today, while you are living and don't give it that edge! Death gets his final reward eventually - why give it a head start? Do not let death affect how you live.

Being Busa riders, many of you have maybe come to terms with this stuff already, maybe not. Someday when you are railing a corner at 90 and you spy a patch of sand in your path and then fixate on the trees ahead, then remember to look thru the turn and lean more... you willhave stared death in teh face and allowed him to taunt you into joining him. Instead you lean and laugh while feeling the G forces pushing you out of the turn, and understand that you are still living and want to live even more. Go with that. Some have said being closer to death makes you feel more alive.... I think it just makes you wake up and recognize something you take for granted all the time.

I'd like to hear some others viewpoints on fearing death = fearing life, if you want to share.

And for a final plug, obviously I am religious and believe there is a "Heaven" of sorts, and if you don't know where you're going, or why you even exist, I recommend checking out Christianity... the TEACHINGS, not the people since people will always let you down. Although I have never really thought about this way, many people do find religion to be a good comfy cusion for death. Just an option and that is all I will say about it lest I'm yelled at for preaching.

So, you read msot of this and are comfrotable with death. Is your family? Is your friend mentally/emotionally ready for their parnets to die? How will you mother react when your father passes away? Can you help her emotionally?

Eh, just consider this a public service announcement from the Twilight Zone. There is a reason I felt compelled to post this here and I have no clue what it is. If it touches just one person silently who does not respond, then that is the reason.

Have a nice day. It could be your last

Comment and feedback encouraged

 

[VaBusa]

Did you draw the little guy yourself WWJD? He's cracking me up...

I don't fear death, I just fear how it'll occur...sure would appreciate a quick and quiet one, thank you...nothing tragic and drawn out, like being impaled on some wicked sharp object while dangling from the rails of a helicopter as my head is scraped along some pavement below and crocodiles are hanging from my feet...get me?!

Honestly, to be more serious...this was a first for me when I watched my stepfather slip away a month ago...I was with him every day from the moment he went in the hospital in a state of what seemed like a coma. I quickly read up on the "stages of death" and could watch each day as he did something completely different than the next, and that he was pretty much following that little guide book hospice gave us to better prepare ourselves. Never pictured reading something like that, but when you're going through it, you appreciate anything to help you understand what's going on

One day he knew us all, the next he was so agitated all he could was point to things that weren't there, talk about things that made no sense and seemed to be shelling peanuts and eating 'em as if we weren't even in the room. When we got him home and settled in, he was calm and at peace, at least that's what your heart tells you...I watched him take his last breaths and then he was gone. If we could all go that way, we'd be fortunate. It was comforting in the strangest way, and I turned to my Mom and said "I don't fear dying anymore" and that was that...

I fear the death of others around me though...kids, my parents, friends...it's the pain of those left behind that haunts us...sometimes so overwhelming you don't want to live through it yourself...that's where my fears lie...

Interesting topic...

 

[tbonebusa]

Well thought out and expressed.....you make some excellent points. It made me think.....thank you.

 

[busahaya]

Good post. I think about it everyday. What if this, What if that... You just never know. But I'll tell what I do know. I think I am prepared for the death of a family member, as mostly all of my family is SAVED

. But then theres me, how I sometimes feel that I'm not in the walk I should be. How I get sidetracked with my burdens in My Walk. Obviously I am scared of the thought of living an eternity in the dark, with the Lawless One and his minions. Then there's those that have left this Earth without Jesus Christ in their lives, the thought alone just sends chills through out me...

 

[MC MUSTANG]

Finally, a post where my signature line applies!

 

[VaBusa]

Oh, and to touch on the heart of what I think WWJD is wondering...

I do think religion comforts us when we face death...it does so much for so many, but I truly believe many turn to religion, even if they previously shunned it...it makes dying easier to swallow, the promise of something better, of being surrounded by loved ones and everything good...or bad, depending on how you've lived your life!

Me? I'm one of those "don't trust blind faith" people...tons of reasons why, but even I often wonder if it would just be easier to accept what most do and trust in blind faith. It would be easier to deal with over what I question now in my life...

Is that vague enough? Signing off...

 

[thesnake]

Let's talk about death.  Those with a queasy point of view should click "Back Arrow" right now.  Are you still with me?  Great.  Those few here that know me in the flesh know I'm not some depressed, dooms-dayer bent on impressing the fact that we are all gonna die someday, but I want to say this:  We are all going to be dead from this earth someday.  Apparently, it's not a very respectable topic to bring up at family reunions or even when loved ones are in the hospital, but maybe it should be.  It seems so many people are afraid of death they just don't want to think about it, let alone TALK about it with people that care the most:  friends, family,  ... the dog...   and even though they don't talk about it, it DOES exist in the back of everyone's mind shaping the way you live your life everyday.  These sound familiar:  
When is my time to go?  
Will it hurt?  
I can't stand the thought of no longer BEING in existance forever!  Total blackness without knowing me anymore.
Is there really a 'heaven'?  
Am I going to hell?

Ok, so death sucks and no one really wants to admit it but death is still 100% fatal and it always will be.  

Where the heck am I going with all this?  Simply put:  fearing death MAKES you fear life.  Everyday you wake up that subliminal voice tells you a million things to do to keep death away - often times that voice is too loud and some folks live in fear of everything:  cancer, colesteral, ozone, smog, jogging, lead paint, freeways, terrorists, germs, neighbors, acid rain, God, Satan, people who drive fast bikes... whatever.  Obviously your trained common sense keeps you from stepping in front of moving traffic, but what else is your sense keeping you from?  I used to hate roller coasters - later read as "Feared them"  Why?  I donnu, perhaps fear of flying off and dieing?  I bet it was.  So fear of death, yet again, kept me from enjoying roller coasters.  Finally, I decidded to fix that.  I noticed tons and tons and MORE TONS of people getting on/off roller coasters and, amazingly, they all lived!  I was stunned.  hmmmmm what are the odds MY 2 inch think steel tubed, locked down harness would come loose and *I* would go flying off into the park landing on my small child or something, snapping my neck and killing the both of us?  Pretty dang slim.  I could also slip in the shower and break my neck - and I shower EVERY DAY [sometimes twice] so maybe I need to rethink my perspective here.  That was all I needed and now I have ridden on some of the world greatest roller coasters and found amazing enjoyment out of it - I would have NEVER experienced had I kept fearing death.  Death IS coming to me and I have ALWAYS known that... but I didn't really know it was already affecting me.  

I DON'T WANT DEATH AFFECTING ME UNTIL I DIE.

Think about that.  I'm not saying everyone should skydive or take up speed boat racing, just think about how fear of death maybe affecting your life today.  Now.  

It manifests in other forms too:  how many hands do you shake?   OH!  Might catch a germ!   Germs wash off - lack of HUMAN CONTACT can affect you for ever.  Better not buy those too expensive shoes... gotta save for retirement so I will have enough money to very slowly die quietly without much pain....  RATHER THAN LIVE TODAY BY ENJOYING THOSE SHOES YOU HAVE EARNED THE RIGHT TO ENJOY BY YOUR HARD WORK IN THE NOW.  Again, death affect you WHILE YOU ARE LIVING.

Everyone has parents or grandparents that have passed away.  If you don't yet, trust me, you will.  Probably someoen you really love and can not imagine ever being without also.  Are you mentally and emotionally prepared for that?  You should be:  you already KNOW it is going to happen.  You do not have to live in the dread but you are allowed to make the conscious choice to live better because of it.  

If you KNOW something is going to happen, you can do something about it.  You know death is coming, you can't change that, but you can change what you do with your time from this day until that time of death happens.  If you spend you time between now and then reacting to things as if something you do now can change the outcome of death, well then, my fiend, you are not really living, but processing time, almost LOOKING FORWARD to the end.  Time to rethink that strategy.  Decide how death is affecting you today, while you are living and don't give it that edge!  Death gets his final reward eventually - why give it a head start?  Do not let death affect how you live.

Being Busa riders, many of you have maybe come to terms with this stuff already, maybe not.  Someday when you are railing a corner at 90 and you spy a patch of sand in your path and then fixate on the trees ahead, then remember to look thru the turn and lean more... you willhave stared death in teh face and allowed him to taunt you into joining him.  Instead you lean and laugh while feeling the G forces pushing you out of the turn, and  understand that you are still living and want to live even more.  Go with that.  Some have said being closer to death makes you feel more alive....  I think it just makes you wake up and recognize something you take for granted all the time.

I'd like to hear some others viewpoints on fearing death = fearing life, if you want to share.

And for a final plug, obviously I am religious and believe there is a "Heaven" of sorts, and if you don't know where you're going, or why you even exist, I recommend checking out Christianity...  the TEACHINGS, not the people since people will always let you down.  Although I have never really thought about this way, many people do find religion to be a good comfy cusion for death.   Just an option and that is all I will say about it lest I'm yelled at for preaching.

So, you read msot of this and are comfrotable with death.  Is your family?  Is your friend mentally/emotionally ready for their parnets to die?  How will you mother react when your father passes away?  Can you help her emotionally?

Eh, just consider this a public service announcement from the Twilight Zone.  There is a reason I felt compelled to post this here and I have no clue what it is.  If it touches just one person silently who does not respond, then that is the reason.  

Have a nice day.  It could be your last  

Comment and feedback encouraged

+1

Absolutely-- right on man.

I don't think about it daily, but I do try to live it daily.

 

[thesnake]

Good post. I think about it everyday. What if this, What if that... You just never know. But I'll tell what I do know. I think I am prepared for the death of a family member, as mostly all of my family is SAVED

. But then theres me, how I sometimes feel that I'm not in the walk I should be. How I get sidetracked with my burdens in My Walk. Obviously I am scared of the thought of living an eternity in the dark, with the Lawless One and his minions. Then there's those that have left this Earth without Jesus Christ in their lives, the thought alone just sends chills through out me...

Don't take it as opposition to your own philosophical beliefs, but just some snake food-for-thought.

Your on "your" walk", whether u realize it or not. None of us know what "path" they "should" be on-- all that we can do is be true to ourselves, respectful to those around us, and choose the "path" that has the most "heart" for the individual.

Buddhist belief is that there are many path/s to achieve individual and spiritual growth-- choose the one that resonates with u.


Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, whom ever one may happen to "believe" in is in all our lives-- your never alone. If the "saved" have the mind set that "non saved" are destined to darkness and are without spirit-- no thanks. Snake will proudly slither along the lawless.

 

[Wag]

My wife almost died when she was 15. Doctors did surgery on her and then gave her a year to live. That was 20 years ago. The same problem that nearly killed her back then haunts her to this day and she has been fortunate that mother nature has taken good care of her. Ms. Wag also does a good job of taking care of her health. That's the short version of her very complex and tragic story. Thankfully, it has a happy ending so far.

The happy ending? She's still kickin' and thoroughly enjoys life, every moment of it. She is not afraid to try anything, she has a positive, endearing outlook on everything under the sun. So much so that most people never every realize that she carries a biological time bomb around with her which could go off at any moment. It's just not a concern for her.

She's been an example to me about how to live life and stay in touch with what's most important. As a result, she has extended her life by 20 years. I believe wholeheartedly that that it's her own attitude which has given her these additional years.

Compare that to my father who spent the last five years of his life fearing death but wanting it at the same time. He got tired of living, quite simply, and fel that it was more important to go see god. He wished for death often and finally, at the all-too-young age of 60, he died, his wish self-fulfilled. Now, I don't believe in a god but I have to believe that no self-respecting god would want any of us to live our lives at anything less than the fullest.

My wife has shown me what it's like to live. We do nearly everything together. But when we're not together, we're still thoroughly enjoying whatever it is we're doing and we're celbrating the fact that each of us knows the other is experiencing the full measure of what they're doing.

There is no really good way to describe this feeling of how the joy of life can be, how infectious it can be and how completely addicting it is. The thrill is beyond compare.

--Wag--

 

[mobusa]

To quote or paraphrase a "Reaperwear" T-shirt worn proudly by many,

"I refuse to tiptoe through life only to arrive safely at Deaths Door"

Your post is well thought and well said WWJD, my friend!

 

[Wag]

One thing I'd like to add in regard to religion. Please don't take this as an attack or a solicitation for debate on religion. However, this relates directly to the discussion.

I was raised from birth in a right-wing cult religion. Staying in that religion made me fear death and fear life even more. It was a huge relief to get out of it and realize that dismissing belief in god and an afterlife was more liberating than any other action I've taken to date.

Some of my family and friends who are religious seem to believe that because I've dismissed god from my life that I'm somehow tainted or that I've become evil in some way. Nothing could be further from the truth. The reality is that now I'm able to live my life with more honesty, less fear, greater capability to accomplish things, etc. etc. I wasn't suddenly transmuted into a lying, killing, adulterating, individual looking for as much carnage and anarchy as I can find.

Simply stated, living a life without religion or god beliefs has made my life that much more enjoyable from day to day, moment to moment.

Having said all of that, neither do I begrudge the religious paths of others. As Snake said above, the path of each of us is different. Some, such as mine, are exclusive of god belief. It's all about seeking the path which suits us best and helps us to enjoy life the most.

--Wag--

 

[Mr Brown]

I do not fear my own death, but I do fear that of others. A good friend of mine buried two of his sons, 11 years old and 6 weeks old, last Saturday. I am absolutely terrified of having to do the same thing for my boys.
The whole topic of religion and its perception of death is a touchy one. I believe in God and Heaven, but I see many people who I utterly despise claiming to be Christian, therefore I stop short of defining myself along with them. I think that religion, or lack thereof, is a personal experience, best shared with those who sincerely wish to understand a different viewpoint. People can preach, scream and yell about how convinced they are of whatever belief it is that they hold, the evidence of what you truly believe is in your actions, not what you say. There are many people who are good people that don't subscribe to any version of God, and I can't imagine why they wouold be neglected in the afterlife. I try to live my life in the here and now, without completely abandoning those who depend on me.

 

[BigDawg_03Busa]

I like to reflect on one scripture in particular.

2 Corinthians 5:8
We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord.

That being said when my time comes, I know I leave behind a world of hurt, pain and evil, to arrive at a place of bliss. I'm most concerned about the manner in which I leave my family, which explains my life insurance policy. How do I know I'm leaving my family first, I don't but should I they'll have more rather than less. They can also feel reassured as to where I'll spend eternity.

 

[BigDawg_03Busa]

I was raised from birth in a right-wing cult religion. Staying in that religion made me fear death and fear life even more. It was a huge relief to get out of it and realize that dismissing belief in god and an afterlife was more liberating than any other action I've taken to date.

That's a muther and I'm sorry to hear that. Unfortunately there are many who have turned their back on "religion" for that very reason. Many operate witch craft and cults right in the friggin pull pits. Ultimately they will be held accountable.

As for your family the bible says "judge not lest ye be judged". They're no cleaner than you walking around with the very attitude the bible speaks against.

I can't stand to see people who are so heavenly minded, they're no earthly good!!

I pray you find your way back to Christ, not "religion". There is a peace and comfort like nothing I've ever known.

God bless you wag,
BD

 

[LadyHawk]

I don't fear death... I fear the pain that may go along with it. Take me quick please.. i don't want to suffer.

I've thought about this recently. Just last year as I contemplated if i wanted to ride a motorcycle, again, at the age of 35. I feared it. I feared crashing, I feared pain. But you know what? I didn't fear it when I was 20, riding my cruiser.... why fear it now? Cuz I'm older? What does that matter? Cuz I know what pain is? Good, then I know how to deal with it. So I choose to ride. And love it.

Death will come when it comes. Up until then I want to enjoy every minute. I believe I am here for a reason. When that reason has come and gone...then I'm outta here.

And please cremate me... I don't want to take up any more space than I already have. That body is dead.. I won't be needing it anymore.

 

[thesnake]

I was raised from birth in a right-wing cult religion.  Staying in that religion made me fear death and fear life even more.  It was a huge relief to get out of it and realize that dismissing belief in god and an afterlife was more liberating than any other action I've taken to date.

That's a muther and I'm sorry to hear that.  Unfortunately there are many who have turned their back on "religion" for that very reason.  Many operate witch craft and cults right in the friggin pull pits.  Ultimately they will be held accountable.

As for your family the bible says "judge not lest ye be judged".  They're no cleaner than you walking around with the very attitude the bible speaks against.  

I can't stand to see people who are so heavenly minded, they're no earthly good!!

I pray you find your way back to Christ, not "religion".  There is a peace and comfort like nothing I've ever known.  

God bless you wag,
BD

Dawg,

the world would be a lot better place if folks put in  practice your words. Regardless of one's religion/beliefs, one would find it hard to find fault in your words-- they represent the good in all of us.



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[zx10r240rwhp]

i dont beleave in god or all that church bible crap. i dont fear death because if it happens it happens. i just want to live as long as i can. i no its going happen and i live like its the last day here because you never no.ive dealt with too many deaths friends and family.it sucks but you deal with it. everyone deals with it differant.just my opinion.

 

[Mr Brown]

i dont beleave in god or all that church bible crap. i dont fear death because if it happens it happens. i just want to live as long as i can. i no its going happen and i live like its the last day here because you never no.ive dealt with too many deaths friends and family.it sucks but you deal with it. everyone deals with it differant.just my opinion.

First, learn to spell. Second, just beacuse you don't believe in something doen't mean it's crap. Watch your mouth.

 

[WWJD]

I didn't mean for this to have the religious edge to it, but I guess it really does fit the conversation on many levels.
It's great to hear others experiences in this. I recently sent an email to family and friends about death and was stunned by the reaction - which woke me up to realizing not a lot of people are comfortable talking about it. Yes, you shouldn't focus on it, but you need to keep your eye on it to keep it in check , you know? If you don't know your self, ON EVERY UGLY LEVEL, who will know you?

I had a dream aa number of years ago about my father dieing in a hospital bed. It was peaceful and he knew he was going and I was there telling him what a successful person he was, that he did everything right, his life was as good of a life as you could get, and that I loved him and was proud to have him as my father. I'm sure it wil be much different when it really happens, but it was interesting to learn from myself in a dream. It really prepared me for eventuality. I just wish that same peace and contentment around this topic for everyone on the planet

No VA, I didn't drawn that death guy, it's a linked google image. Looks very SOUTHPARK to me ahhahhahahahaa

 

[Aughtsix]

I don't fear death, I welcome it. When it comes it will be an old friend taking me out to dinner...


Greg - We come from relatively different Theological foundations, but I enjoyed your initial post. Thanks.