Whats wrong with quiet people

Gurley said:
Ok so I have been working at this hospital for 3 years and been to 3 floors. I am a quite person and I just dont talk a whole lot. However I am very polite and always smile and pretty much speak when spoken to unless I need to tell someone something but I do my job well and never complain. I do not sit around and shoot the bull and get all up in everyones buisness and all that. I feel that work and home are two seperate things; I dont bring my personal life to work with me. However I have been called in my supervisors office twice and the only complaint being I am to quite; I have to let my co-workers into my life, and let them know things about me. I just dont need to be so quite; I need to talk to everyone. Seriously what is wrong with being a quite person and just doing your job!!! Anyone else ever have this problem? Ok rant over.
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I also work in a office with mostly women and I'm the exact same way. I don't like to mix work and home at all but like you I'm nice when somebody asks me how I am but my response is always "good" no matter what. I also don't attend the luncheons, holiday parties, or go out with the people after work.

However, I have one person I talk to there and she tells me they all gossip about me and wonder what I'm hiding. The women would come up to me in groups of two or three and start asking me about my personal life. I would always dart the questions and change the subject or pretend that I have a conference call or something that needed to be done right then. I ended up telling my work friend to tell them that I'm not hiding anything and I just don't like them. :laugh: That has keept them off my back now for about 2 months. I'm not sure what I will do once they realize I just didn't want to talk to them any more but I'm sure I'll think of something. :laugh:
 
IM LOUD at work. Its a big warehouse, but i make myself easy to find:laugh:

Sounds like a tough situation. I did notice you said you worked with all women. I can offer little advice, as Females remain a mystery to me. I can tell you how to make them angry at you and call you "insensetive".:whistle: Good luck. Ladies please help Gurley :thumbsup:
 
NickSully said:
I also work in a office with mostly women and I'm the exact same way. I don't like to mix work and home at all but like you I'm nice when somebody asks me how I am but my response is always "good" no matter what. I also don't attend the luncheons, holiday parties, or go out with the people after work.

However, I have one person I talk to there and she tells me they all gossip about me and wonder what I'm hiding. The women would come up to me in groups of two or three and start asking me about my personal life. I would always dart the questions and change the subject or pretend that I have a conference call or something that needed to be done right then. I ended up telling my work friend to tell them that I'm not hiding anything and I just don't like them. :laugh: That has keept them off my back now for about 2 months. I'm not sure what I will do once they realize I just didn't want to talk to them any more but I'm sure I'll think of something. :laugh:
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I have one really good friend that I work with and she says people gossip about me all the time cause I am so quiet. Apparently I have a devious personality whatever that is supposed to mean! I am just feed up with it at this point. Now its like I dont talk because my momma told me if you dont have anything nice to say dont say anything at all.

The things that I am interested in are so far off from the people I work with that we dont have anything in common really. They all wanna go shopping and to the clubs and all that bs and thats what they wanna talk about or who is doing who in the work bathroom (yes this really happens)! And then there is me who is all into motorcycles, racing, and pitbulls. Like the only thing I have in common with these people is that I have a child.
 
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"They all wanna go shopping and to the clubs and all that bs and thats what they wanna talk about or who is doing who in the work bathroom (yes this really happens)!"

3 friends of mine work at a nursing home, they have mentioned this before. I belived em, but didnt. Guess it does happen.
 
Some people think that if you are too quiet then you think that you are too good for them. I have had this problem once before when I was working at a bar. I would talk to other coworkers about what was going on with me, but I would never go out drinking with them. They thought that I was too good to drink with them or to hangout with them. I finally had to tell them one night after closing that I just don't drink that often and when I do I may have one or two beers and that is about it. You should talk to them a little bit, but don't let them to far into your life.
 
BIG GUY said:
Some people think that if you are too quiet then you think that you are too good for them. I have had this problem once before when I was working at a bar. I would talk to other coworkers about what was going on with me, but I would never go out drinking with them. They thought that I was too good to drink with them or to hangout with them. I finally had to tell them one night after closing that I just don't drink that often and when I do I may have one or two beers and that is about it. You should talk to them a little bit, but don't let them to far into your life.
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I think it's a little bit different with females but I could be wrong... The one's I have been around liked to come to work and discuss their personal lives with co workers. I would always sit there and listen, but I would NEVER come to work and discuss my personal business. It got to the point they thought I was Ms. Perfect. My life and marriage was perfect. Well that was far from the truth. I'm not perfect by ANY means I just was not willing to share my personal business people I'm not comfortable around. That's why now I work around guy's. Because they just don't give a $hit how my weekend was or what me and my husband are going through. All they care about is bikes, guns, beer and chili. :beerchug:
 
CaBusaGirl said:
I think it's a little bit different with females but I could be wrong... The one's I have been around liked to come to work and discuss their personal lives with co workers. I would always sit there and listen, but I would NEVER come to work and discuss my personal business. It got to the point they thought I was Ms. Perfect. My life and marriage was perfect. Well that was far from the truth. I'm not perfect by ANY means I just was not willing to share my personal business people I'm not comfortable around. That's why now I work around guy's. Because they just don't give a $hit how my weekend was or what me and my husband are going through. All they care about is bikes, guns, beer and chili. :beerchug:
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I think I need to find a new career! I need co-workers like that.... I just dont get the whole coming into work and announcing to everyone your dirty laundry!
 
you can always tell them that you'd rather listen to the voices in your head, than to them, lol.

Seriously, though; it's really of no professional concern to your co-workers or your supervisor as to how quiet you are during your shift. If you were wailing like a banshee, or getting into frequent arguments, I could see it.

a couple of things to keep in mind:

are you performing your duties to the best of your abilities?
do you enjoy your job?
do you end each shift with pride in that you have accomplished most, if not all of your goals?

if the answer's yes, then I wouldn't worry too much about the others on your shift, and if the supervisor keeps up, you can always politely request to be shown in your employee handbook (or HR policies) where the requirement to be a social butterfly (i.e., chatty Cathy) at the workplace is specified.

Have you explained to your supervisor your position on work ethics (i.e., keeping home and work separate)? that should be sufficient to let your supervisor know that it's really none of his/her business. If you have any acquaintances outside of work in the HR field, you may want to get together with them to get an expert opinion.

unfortunately, I'm starting to see a lot of this in the military now...and we used to be known as the 'silent professionals'...maybe wiffle ball is to blame....lol
 
Gurley said:
I think I need to find a new career! I need co-workers like that.... I just dont get the whole coming into work and announcing to everyone your dirty laundry!
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Then get your gun license, take a tazer course, get your guard card and jump on board! :cheerleader::cheerleader: Guarantee you would have a blast!
 
Your superviser doesn't have the right to try to compel you to be more "sociable" at work, unless that would be somehow required to get the work done. Sounds like she is way out of line.

You might consider asking her to explain to you explicitly how your performance is lacking.
If your job performance is not lacking, she really needs to get off your back. Don't tell her that, of course. But it sounds like her personality issues and lack of professionalism are resulting in on the job harassment of you, which is not cool. Try to find a way to protect your rights without putting your boss or the company on the defensive. Might be time to start looking for another job. Get out before she gets the chance to paint a bad picture, if you know what I mean.
 
Guys are just as bad as women when it comes to talking behind backs and gossip. We have one guy that's quiet (shy or however you want to put it) and a lot of the guys think he's a snob which couldn't be further from the truth. Another guy's sole purpose is to find out everyone's financial status. He can tell you what everyone earns by the hour or what their W2s were for the entire year. He went as far as volunteering as a credit union board member to find out peoples savings, loans ect. He was kicked off two weeks later after blabbing around the shop about a co-worker who was going to get his truck repoed.

Luckily I'm a field a tech and don't have to deal with the office or shop very often. Co-workers don't need to know about your personal life unless you choose to share it with them. Personally I prefer to keep work, family and friends in their own separate circles.

I doubt I'd last a day at your place of employment. I'm not exactly quiet but at the same time I'm very personal and nobody pries into my life. Let's just say when I visit the office on Monday mornings, people know better than to ask me "how was your weekend" or "where'd ya go this weekend"....cause it ain't none of their damn business!
 
racerV said:
A quiet person can be perceived as a threat in the work place because you never know what they are thinking or if you agree with what they are doing. Be an azzhole like me and no one will want to know your opinion :)
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This is my philosophy as well! :rofl:
 
Gurley said:
I have one really good friend that I work with and she says people gossip about me all the time cause I am so quiet. Apparently I have a devious personality whatever that is supposed to mean! I am just feed up with it at this point. Now its like I dont talk because my momma told me if you dont have anything nice to say dont say anything at all.

The things that I am interested in are so far off from the people I work with that we dont have anything in common really. They all wanna go shopping and to the clubs and all that bs and thats what they wanna talk about or who is doing who in the work bathroom (yes this really happens)! And then there is me who is all into motorcycles, racing, and pitbulls. Like the only thing I have in common with these people is that I have a child.
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Basically my problem also. I work in the corporate office which is full of accountants and number pushers. I find that stuff very boring and when I hear them talking about it I just want to fall asleep.

Now if they wanted to talk motorcycles or sports I would be more willing to talk with them.
 
some good advice here from others.... I would suggest reaching out to your HR group and requesting a copy of the code of conduct and job responsibilities. then if you have a way to at least file your concerns officially, you should. Do not make it a complaint unless you are ready to deal with the impact of that, but something that would cover your azz should your supervisor try to do something to impact your paycheck. Unless the supervisor has some pictures of the bigger bosses pleasuring farm animals, you will find they are not likely to side with her when she is stepping over the line as far as you describe. Just a thought.... probably good to start looking around just in case though :whistle: :laugh:
 
i go to wok to work, make money.....

if i cared what was going in the lives of the sad little people that work with me nd for....then they would be called friends, not co-workers.

be yourself.....

if that is a problem for them, screw them.

if that is a problem for your supervisor, tell him or her stay out of your business....and take it up with HR.
 
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