Thrown into the friend zone

[Schexy1]

*** I'm not looking for consolation, pats on the back, or "sorry dude". I'm looking for shared experiences. ***

So, I meet a young lady on a dating site. We go out to meet for coffee. We talk, laugh, share experiences, etc. We chatted for 3 freaking hours.... When leaving, I gave her a hug (since she's very conservative). We texted back and forth the next couple of days and added each other on facebook. Then, I awoke this morning with an email saying she didn't want a relationship right now and wanted to learn more about me, but at this point only wanted to be friends, so she could again build a relationship with God.... Ok, fine.


I was thrown into the friend zone! OH NOES!


Alright guys and gals, tell me your "thrown into the friend zone" woes!

I think men have been blinded by arrogance or chivalry and keep a traditional view of women and dating. We still try to put women on a virtuous pedestal and ignore the fact that they got game now.

You might be suprised to find out what are her definitions of a friend and a relationship.

 

[busa186]

Kinda hard to have a relationship with someone who is not your friend. She's conservative, god fearing... a dating site is probably a little outside her comfort zone. Her telling you she wants to be friends could mean she would like to build a relationship instead of having a relationship.

OR.....

She was thinking "oh my god! This guy has been talking for the 3 FREAKING HOURS" and "now he's my on my Facebook"

 

[SKnight]

Then if I were you I would have figured out how to sabotage her car so you could collect more “paymentâ€￾ from her.

It crossed my mind. I however wanted more, those feelings things getting in the way.

 

[dane789]

If you find yourself in the dreaded "friend zone" roll with it......it can be turned around. Follow these proven steps:

1) Be her friend... be a pal, let her find out how great you treat your mom, your elderly neighbor, a stray dog, ect.

2) Take her to lunch, go grocery shopping with her, do an oil change on her car. DO NOT KISS HER !!! just a QUICK non-eye contact hug here and there, nothing else.

3) A few weeks into the game, ask her to a Friday evening movie. "G" rated Disney type would be perfect. Ask her early in the week.

4) That Friday morning, call her and ask if it's okay to cancel going to the movie because a girl you are interested in has asked you out on a date. As a friend, you figured that she would understand and even wish you luck. Hmmmm.....maybe even ask for advice on how to dress or where to take this new girl.

5) These are fly or crash steps....If she is interested in you at all, she will not want you to go out with the new (imaginary) girl. But be aware.... there is a potential for a backfire. So know where you stand first.

 

[Mr Droo]

We spoke about the same amount, and it was ME that realized the coffee shop was empty and it was 15 minutes past closing time. I zipped my coat up and she asked, "are you trying to leave?" I pointed to the empty lobby with the chairs upside down on the tables and the two employees glaring at us for making them stay longer.

 

[Busa1166]

i've got several just like that now...sometimes, it takes some time and looking like you don't care to get their interest (helps if you really don't care since you have several more you are seeing at the same time)...be a friend but NEVER be at their beck and call, make time with you be worth something!

keep a dozen or so rotating through and there is usually one or two available at any one time...i really hope certain people never read this

All your female friends on FB are now friend'ing each other to compare notes times and places, just remember you sold yourself out no one did it for ya

 

[skydivr]

Bring a prettier girl around her and see if she still just wants to be friends.

This man is onto something; women can't STAND getting outclassed; both of them will be wanting to put it on you!

 

[skydivr]

This man is onto something; women can't STAND getting outclassed; both of them will be wanting to put it on you!

WHOO HOO Post # 9000!!

 

[Blanca BusaLess]

If he had a prettier girl to make other one jealous than we would not be having this discussion because he'd be bedding the pretty girl.

 

[GsxrBots]

if he had a prettier girl to make other one jealous than we would not be having this discussion because he'd be bedding the pretty girl.

word..

 

[Ezduzit]

If he had a prettier girl to make other one jealous than we would not be having this discussion because he'd be bedding the pretty girl.

True statement!:thumbup:

 

[chrisjp]

what happend to your lawyer friend...and that girl you worked with...god drew...you have not been keeping me and mary informed :rules:

 

[Schexy1]

If he had a prettier girl to make other one jealous than we would not be having this discussion because he'd be bedding the pretty girl.

Not if he didn't have enough room on his credit card for that.

 

[BigBadDodge]

Kinda how it went with me with the girl from work, great friends for years, i became single and we hooked up, we'll leave the details out but i'm trying to stay in the "friends zone" just to keep peace and hang out with her, i'd hate to loose her all together.

Its happened to me quite a few times, gotta keep in touch so they call they're "friends" when they need things

 

[card16969]

friend zone advice from a guy who always used to be in the friend zone who turned into a man hoe for a while and is now settling down... take her out to dinner and drinks then go out dancing and even more drinks then BANG THE HELL OUT OF HER.... i know that its the ******* thing to do but in all honesty if she wants more at all that will bring it out, if you try to be the nice sweet guy your just going to get pushed more into the friend zone. And before anyone jumps on me for being insensitive or an ******* i guarantee ive been in the friend zone more times than any of you. I got lucky and am getting ready to get engaged to the first girl and first friend i met when i moved to a different school district in 5th grade and have been in the friend zone for 17 years and finally took my own advice and stepped out on a ledge and did it and wham were head over heels in love.

 

[Big Bo]

I was told, "lets just be friends". My heart dropped. 30 years later I am SSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy it went no further.

 

[Tufbusa]

When a woman tells you "I just want us to be friends",,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, what she is actually saying is "I'll never have sex with you as long as I live"!

 

[card16969]

I was told, "lets just be friends". My heart dropped. 30 years later I am SSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy it went no further.

haha ive had that before i was 20 she was one of the hottest girls growing up, almost 10 years later she has 4 kids is almost 300 lbs and looks like shes in her 40s.... yep thanks for saying no haha

 

[mabupa]

IMHO!! be careful with that friend's zone. If You really fall in love and then try to hang around hoping she'll change her mine and move to the next level and that doesn't happen, it's gonna suck.!!!!!!!!!!! So, I partially agree with Blanca. But, don't hang around too long, it doesn't always have a happy ending like in blanca's case. Don't ask me how I know.

 

[Busa1166]

Sorry dude, here's a pat on the back!

I dated pretty much one girl back in HS and to this day wonder where it went wrong. Anyhow we broke up as teenagers do. Well a few months later she called me over cause she wanted help with her car. I go over, fix it, we start talking, she takes me by the hand and leads me inside. Long and short she threw it on me.

We're laying there, I asked what she was doing the next night, she said she had a date. One WTF look later she said she thought that since there was a history that was the best way to pay me but wants to be friends. I tried it, but simply couldn't.

Wimmins are nuts. At least she did it early instead of several months along wasting your time.

I am kinda ok with friends like that wth man