i wish i had that problem, lol.
Thrown into the friend zone
- Thread starter Mr Droo
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i wish i had that problem, lol.
you know, my wife's new boyfriend (that's right, wife, not ex wife) was in the friend zone a few months, now he knocked her up. so there's still hope for you, lol.
houstonbussa
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My 'just friends' always seem to come back years later and swear they didn't know I was interested like that and wish they did, but I usually remember the moment when I did ask them out and got the "just friends" speech. And more so now that I'm engaged to be married in March, now they come out of the wood works. lol
SKnight
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Like I said had I known from the beginning it would have been a trade off I'd have rotated her tires every chance I got if you catch my drift. It was kinda crushing though, thought I was back in with "The One" (All teenagers think that but she haunted my dreams for years.) just to get the friends speech while I was still breathing heavy. First serious lesson in matters of love, women will use you, manipulate you and walk off without a shred of concern while enjoying the power they hold over men. This sensitive female BS is just that. BS. They're all, and I mean all, that way.I am kinda ok with friends like that wth man
When I met my wife, we were friends for a long time, then the relationship just developed from there. We have been married for just over 13 years now and do not regret the upgrade from friends.
If you are truly interested in a relationship with this lady, then pursue it. If you were just looking for a piece, then move on and hang out with her at the bar from time to time. Simple as that, don't over complicate it.
If you are truly interested in a relationship with this lady, then pursue it. If you were just looking for a piece, then move on and hang out with her at the bar from time to time. Simple as that, don't over complicate it.
Yep I am with you. My Girlfriend saw my Facebook page and noticed all the girls on it. They were friends from High school and I was put in the friend zone many times. Why is it the phrase, "You are too good of a friend to jeprodize with dating." always seems to sting? Come on it doesn't soften the blow any. I started to wonder if I needed to stop being the nice guy and be come a jerk just to get a date.
Later some of the girls were asking, "Where did all the good men go?" I would just tell them check the "Friend Zone."
Later some of the girls were asking, "Where did all the good men go?" I would just tell them check the "Friend Zone."
I had something similar happen to me:
I met this waitress at one of my favorite lunch spots. We went out a couple of times and then she plays the I want to be friends card. She then ends up pregnant about a month later and calls me up out of no where and wants to know if I would like to take her out on a date again. I guess she was looking for a daddy for her baby. I wished her luck but told her I could never see us as more than friends.
Too many fish in the sea to get tied down with one that wants to play games or comes with baggage.
I met this waitress at one of my favorite lunch spots. We went out a couple of times and then she plays the I want to be friends card. She then ends up pregnant about a month later and calls me up out of no where and wants to know if I would like to take her out on a date again. I guess she was looking for a daddy for her baby. I wished her luck but told her I could never see us as more than friends.
Too many fish in the sea to get tied down with one that wants to play games or comes with baggage.
if you are looking for a relationship and not just trying to have a good time with a pretty girl, i think one thing we forget is it takes about 3 seconds to "fall in love" according to movies, books, etc...."falling in love" according to these standards is nothing more than a chemical and learned reaction to what we find attractive...don't think because you like the answers she gave during a first meeting, even if it did last three hours, are anywhere near accurate...most try to put themselves forward in the best light possible which is understandable when trying to land someone as a partner
if you think, based on your original meeting, that there is something worth pursuing, take the time she has given you to get to know the real her and let her get to know the real you...the last thing you want to do is develop deeper feelings for someone you don't even know...what happens if you discover you don't like the real her if you have already jumped into a relationship before getting to truly know one another? hurt feelings, a "broken heart", and even more time suffering
a true relationship with a life companion takes a lifetime to create!
this girl you met may not be doing it on purpose (or she might, i have no idea) but developing shared history and letting you feel there is a bond, taking a couple days to let it set, than demonstrating that she has the power in the relationship by taking what you want (her) away is an old, old trick...men always want what they can't have and will strive to acquire whatever seems to be out of reach...that's just the way we are wired
like previously said, finding a prettier girl (even if she is just a friend also) to be seen with will work on a lot of females because they tend to be very competitive with each other and will judge themselves on whether or not they can take you attention from the other...at that point, it is crucial to be friendly, acknowledge her briefly, and go back to paying attention to the girl you are with...if you do any more, you give the girl you are trying to attract all of the power in the relationship again if she sees you dump whoever you are with just because she smiled at you...good luck
if you think, based on your original meeting, that there is something worth pursuing, take the time she has given you to get to know the real her and let her get to know the real you...the last thing you want to do is develop deeper feelings for someone you don't even know...what happens if you discover you don't like the real her if you have already jumped into a relationship before getting to truly know one another? hurt feelings, a "broken heart", and even more time suffering
a true relationship with a life companion takes a lifetime to create!
this girl you met may not be doing it on purpose (or she might, i have no idea) but developing shared history and letting you feel there is a bond, taking a couple days to let it set, than demonstrating that she has the power in the relationship by taking what you want (her) away is an old, old trick...men always want what they can't have and will strive to acquire whatever seems to be out of reach...that's just the way we are wired
like previously said, finding a prettier girl (even if she is just a friend also) to be seen with will work on a lot of females because they tend to be very competitive with each other and will judge themselves on whether or not they can take you attention from the other...at that point, it is crucial to be friendly, acknowledge her briefly, and go back to paying attention to the girl you are with...if you do any more, you give the girl you are trying to attract all of the power in the relationship again if she sees you dump whoever you are with just because she smiled at you...good luck
Nice post and excellent point of view!!
Mr Droo
Registered
Lolz, We were going to IronPony Motorsports in Columbus on Saturday... to spend part of my tax return on heated gear (jacket and gloves), tires, and helmet (for me). She decided lunch on Sunday would be better. I'll tell ya this... I'm still going to Columbus on Saturday! Gregor is meeting me there, since it's in his back yard and he can't resist that MEGA store.
She's gonna pay for her own darn lunch though! I'd buy any of you all lunch, but this chick won't suck the teet from this cow!
She's gonna pay for her own darn lunch though! I'd buy any of you all lunch, but this chick won't suck the teet from this cow!
where it falls apart for me, is when i try and take them home to meet my wife! 
Big Bo
Registered
The only woman that I asked to marry me (37 yrs ago) is one of my best friends today. She and I email weekly from(work), I can talk to her about anything. The woman that I am talking to, I told her of my old friend. She is OK with that. My friend asked if we could be an item? I told her that she is dear to me, and I cherish her friendship too much to threaten the relationship. She said ok. I will stop by her house and say hi to her and her dad, if any other of her family are there I say hi to them too. She is a great gal. I just do not want to go there.
This is really simple. In case you haven't learned yet
NICE GUYS ALWAYS FINISH LAST!
Let her know what you are interested in. If she isn't see ya later. Plenty of fish in the sea and no point in wasting time on the dead ones.
On a side note when i was in high school i had this crush on a girl names stacy. She was the woman of my dreams and she knew i thought it. She would string me along till the next arse hole came along and she would be gone again. I think i did this for three years before i finally realized she was never going to change and i was wasting my time. The last and final time she came crying on my shoulder i told her i didn't have time. After a few weeks of trying to get my attention she went away and i never heard from her again. I will say i miss her, but i dont miss the constant rejection and heart ache. But that was a long time ago now.
NICE GUYS ALWAYS FINISH LAST!
Let her know what you are interested in. If she isn't see ya later. Plenty of fish in the sea and no point in wasting time on the dead ones.
On a side note when i was in high school i had this crush on a girl names stacy. She was the woman of my dreams and she knew i thought it. She would string me along till the next arse hole came along and she would be gone again. I think i did this for three years before i finally realized she was never going to change and i was wasting my time. The last and final time she came crying on my shoulder i told her i didn't have time. After a few weeks of trying to get my attention she went away and i never heard from her again. I will say i miss her, but i dont miss the constant rejection and heart ache. But that was a long time ago now.
If you are not in bed by midnight, go home.
People are not going to like what I say, but so be it. I have been divorced a while, and I have paid my dues in the dating game. You (men & women) get sent to the friends corner, because you are 2nd choice. You are there for backup. He/she met someone else that is more interesting, that got into their pants on the first date. If things don't work out, then he/she will get back to you.
Having a fun date, and a good chat, is great. But make sure you make your requirements and intentions very clear before the drop-off. If it is a serious relationship you want, then make sure he/she hears it. If it sex you want, don't throw pathetic hints, make sure they get the message. Be a gentleman about it, and don't force it - just be honest and clear.
If you dropped the ball, and fumbled the message, you will get sent to the friends corner. Turn it around by picking up the phone, and give the message clear and concise. As in: "I understand your position, but I am not interested in just being friends. I want more, I want it all. What time can I pick you up?" Then they have a simple choice. If they give a date/time, then you are #1. Keep the date short, get home, and seal the deal properly. If they fumble around with non-committals then cut it off immediately, and move on.
People are not going to like what I say, but so be it. I have been divorced a while, and I have paid my dues in the dating game. You (men & women) get sent to the friends corner, because you are 2nd choice. You are there for backup. He/she met someone else that is more interesting, that got into their pants on the first date. If things don't work out, then he/she will get back to you.
Having a fun date, and a good chat, is great. But make sure you make your requirements and intentions very clear before the drop-off. If it is a serious relationship you want, then make sure he/she hears it. If it sex you want, don't throw pathetic hints, make sure they get the message. Be a gentleman about it, and don't force it - just be honest and clear.
If you dropped the ball, and fumbled the message, you will get sent to the friends corner. Turn it around by picking up the phone, and give the message clear and concise. As in: "I understand your position, but I am not interested in just being friends. I want more, I want it all. What time can I pick you up?" Then they have a simple choice. If they give a date/time, then you are #1. Keep the date short, get home, and seal the deal properly. If they fumble around with non-committals then cut it off immediately, and move on.
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