Need help

[rubbersidedown]

Thanks fellas.
I'm getting off for a bit.
Just need to get away from the computer.
Keep the advice and all coming; I need it.

Go get a beer, and an' apple juice for the expectant Mom.

Better days ahead.

Rubb.

[nitrousjunkie]

Nathan,do her parents still work? You need to paying more than the minimum to get anywhere with the balance on the cards,I would try to polite but ask them for something to sorta insure they will pay,like a car or 2,its time for them to step up and the adults they are,if they dont,small claims is your only way to get anything,things like this will take their toll on you as a family so be prepared for it.

No Paul.
Both are on disability.
I know about the family part.
That's why I'm trying to be cool headed around the wifey.
Don't want no more stress on the baby, and I do understand this is still her parents.

I never want to do anything to hurt her or lose her, but I feel something needs to be done to make this right.
I love my wife with all my heart and would be lost without her.

He needs to step up and be a man.

I dont think youre in danger of losing your wife,however her relationship with her parents will be in jeopardy.How much disability do they get,should be pretty good,if they could swing 700-800 a month,it would be paid off pretty soon,its time for them to make some sort of sacrifices to help you and Crystal,whatever you do,keep things civil,things like this can have VERY adverse effects on pregnant women.Do what you can to help them HELP you,the Walmart thing is not bad idea,they can part time so as not to interfere with their disability.

[VaBusa]

Some real world advice Nathan, since we know the "pay more than the min" might not be feasible...contact a credit counselor.  Since Crystal's name is tied up with this, unfortunately it's going to be up to you two as far as getting her credit back on track.  Deal with the in-laws and what they can do to help out AFTER you get Crystal's credit in line and more manageable...

Not ashamed to admit, but I racked up a ton of credit card bills years back, and it hit me AFTER my first son was born, things were tight, I was scared.  I was to the point that you seem to be at now; just sick, no where to turn, no idea how to get out of the mess I'd made (let me be fair, I had help from the hubby who wouldn't stop at "we really can't afford that" LOL)...anyway, I contacted a credit counseling co named DMCC and got the ball rolling toward getting my family out of the debt we were in. It's a great place to begin, they take your credit card bills and consolidate 'em, get the interest rates way down, you agree to pay X amount that they determine is necessary and that you can afford, you pay DMCC, they pay your creditors. It gets your credit back in line, stops the worry (most important), stops the hassle of calls from creditors...it helps, trust me...

That was years back...I don't have a single credit card now, Mike's got one, and we pay cash for most everything nowadays minus major purchases for the house. It took a few years (I was about $22,000 in the hole...yep, $22,000!) but now we're better off, credit is great, the lack of financial stress is a huge relief. So, it's a thought, something for you to investigate yourself because I know how scary all of this can be, I know how daunting it all seems, but start somewhere...

Talk anytime and I do wish you the best; you know that...you and Crystal are great people...great things will head your way...

[BA BUSA]

Sorry to hear of all your troubles brudda

I would check on taking out a line of credit on your house to pay off the two credit
cards...after all it is YOUR debt

You should be able to get a better % rate this way and can probably write off the interest
on your home loan...then you need to get the in laws to make the new loan payments

[Pipefighter248]

Sorry to hear of all your troubles brudda

I would check on taking out a line of credit on your house to pay off the two credit
cards...after all it is YOUR debt

You should be able to get a better % rate this way and can probably write off the interest
on your home loan...then you need to get the in laws to make the new loan payments

Just wondering how you feel that it is my debt?
Just curious.

I sure as hell don't feel that I should be responsible for their hard times in the past.

Also, you want me to get a home equity loan against my house, so if something happens, then I'm on the street?
Don't see that happening.



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[Pipefighter248]

Chelle and Paul.
Thanks for the advice.
They are "supposedly" going to go to another bank to try and get the loan.
I honestly don't think that they went today.

My wife has paid on it for around 5 years she says.
Don't you think it's about time for them to step up?

If I can't get them to work nothing out I guess it's time to talk to a credit counsler.

[Pipefighter248]

Thanks fellas.
I'm getting off for a bit.
Just need to get away from the computer.
Keep the advice and all coming; I need it.

Go get a beer, and an' apple juice for the expectant Mom.

Better days ahead.

Rubb.

Thanks Andy.
Don't drink anymore so it'll have to be a Pepsi.

[PACIFICBUSA]

Wow...don't quite know what to say. Tough times for sure...

Best I can offer is an ear to vent all your troubles with. Seems like the folks here pretty much got the ball rolling in terms of what you can do. I feel for you and your situation...it's nothing short of one humongous headache.

Damn...finance has never been my strong point.

[Pipefighter248]

Wow...don't quite know what to say. Tough times for sure...

Best I can offer is an ear to vent all your troubles with. Seems like the folks here pretty much got the ball rolling in terms of what you can do. I feel for you and your situation...it's nothing short of one humongous headache.

Damn...finance has never been my strong point.

Thanks Paul.

[nitrousjunkie]

I suspect it'll be fairly easy for them to get the loan if they have direct deposit on their check every month,they will never miss it if they do,check hits the bank,bank takes their payment,life goes on and you and the misses can sleep at night.

[Pipefighter248]

I suspect it'll be fairly easy for them to get the loan if they have direct deposit on their check every month,they will never miss it if they do,check hits the bank,bank takes their payment,life goes on and you and the misses can sleep at night.

I'll have to try and bring that up.

[BA BUSA]

Sorry to hear of all your troubles brudda

I would check on taking out a line of credit on your house to pay off the two credit
cards...after all it is YOUR debt

You should be able to get a better % rate this way and can probably write off the interest
on your home loan...then you need to get the in laws to make the new loan payments

Just wondering how you feel that it is my debt?
Just curious.

I sure as hell don't feel that I should be responsible for their hard times in the past.

Also, you want me to get a home equity loan against my house, so if something happens, then I'm on the street?
Don't see that happening.

It is in your wife's name and the creditor will come after her and any assets
that she/you own for payment. Not that you should have to pay it, but they don't care about the inlaws just the
name on the account.

The whole deal sucks but they just want their money from the account holder.

[BA BUSA]

The best thing would be if they could come up with the $$$ to pay the debt...if they can't get
a loan, rather than pay 10-25% interest to the credit card co
you could get 7% or less on a Home Equity loan.

The payments and interest would be more manageable on a equity loan....plus you could right off the interest on your taxes.

I understand that it is the in-laws debt....but bottom line is that they will come after
YOUR wife for payment which means YOUR stuck with the mess too

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[chrisjp]

go see the pro's let them work ya a deal...take the 500 a month to help pay it after you work the deal...and still come out smelling like a rose

[MC MUSTANG]

Nathan -
This sucks all the way around. I went through something similar to what you are talking about 10-12 years ago. When my wife and I first got married, we only had one car, hers. She hadn't told me that her mother co-signed on the loan; somehow, she (her mother) had refinanced the car without us knowing. I ended up paying that car off twice before all was said and done.

Honestly, and I know this sounds hard - but have you talked with her father? I don't mean confrontationally, but just sitting down and explaining where you guys are at. That it isn't fair that in efforts to help them, Crystal has sort of screwed herself. That SHE has paid the cards because SHE had more money coming in... but that is no longer the case. I ask this, because guilt is a powerful tool. Her father's reaction will make whatever you end up having to do, easier. I recommend that all of you contact some sort of debt councelor; see if they can't get a consolidation loan and absorb the two accounts. Or see if they can't get one of those balance transfers... an outright loan will be very difficult for them, because it doesn't sound like they have much collateral ... also, remember that the more times they apply and the more they are rejected the more inquiries, the less likely they will get any new credit. I agree with many of the above posts - gotta get that stuff off of you guys (Yours and Crystals) scope. You both deserve better.

[thrasherfox]

Sorry to hear of all your troubles brudda

I would check on taking out a line of credit on your house to pay off the two credit
cards...after all it is YOUR debt

You should be able to get a better % rate this way and can probably write off the interest
on your home loan...then you need to get the in laws to make the new loan payments

Just wondering how you feel that it is my debt?
Just curious.

I sure as hell don't feel that I should be responsible for their hard times in the past.

Also, you want me to get a home equity loan against my house, so if something happens, then I'm on the street?
Don't see that happening.

Nathan -

I think I know what BA is saying....


My daughter who I never see, and only contacts me when she wasn’t something, wanted me to cosign for a car for her. I refused.

And why did I refuse? because I don’t trust she would make the payments and ultimately I would be responsible, I am not putting my head on a chopping block when I have a pretty good feeling the axe is going to fall, I don’t care who it is.

It is in the past, but if your wife had this hanging over her head when you got married she should have told you… I hope it is a lesson learned for her. Both of you need to be totally honest with each other about stuff like this, I have been married for over 18 years and I can tell you with experience, everything usually comes out eventually.

Now your current status? It is your debt. Because it is in your wife name. Doesn’t matter if her parents spent all of it, she is responsible, you are her husband so now your responsible also.

Her parents do not have the ability to pay it off. The hard fact is now you are stuck with this debt, it is going to affect you and you need to deal with it, it is not going to affect her parents. If they are not stepping up to do everything to get this debt taken care of, then it seems as though their attitude might be one of “well yeah they are going to get a little mad, but they will get over it†just what I sense anyway. Take it for what its worth.

I agree with taking out a second on your house and paying it off.

Talk to a tax layer and see if there is a way you can write it off as some kind of gift or loss on taxes..

And then you don’t EVER.. and I mean EVER help her parents out again.

If they EVER come to you for something again, just say when they pay you back the debt they owe you, then you will consider helping them.

Nathan it really sucks, but in the eyes of creditors it is your debt not her parents, so take control of it.

Personally, I cant see how someone’s parents can do that to a newlywed couple, especially when they have a baby on the way.

And personally.. I would be fuggin pissed if I were in your shoes, giving up a transam, then your Busa to help your family (which is totally honorable and the right thing to do, props to you for that) but to do all that and be responsible for someone elses debt.. man that just aint right…

Keep us posted, if you continue to not get this resolved there a lot of good minds on this board, someone might think of a good solution..

Good luck to both you of you…