For any of you that don't have your suspension set, it's adjustable for a reason.
Well worth doing, and will increase your riding confidence and ability.
Check your tire pressure.
Make sure the chain is adjusted correctly.
Little things, that are actually big things, that are often overlooked, but really make a big difference in the handling and overall ride.
@Dopey, is there any shop within a reasonsble ride from where you live?
Since you've been reading, adjusting, struggling...I could almost laugh.
Because, your one light bulb moment away from it working for you.
If you have a suspension guy show you, and walk you through it...you'll get it.
It frustrated me for a long time too, now, I can get it where I need it to be, and know how to get there.
Try writing down your settings, go ride, stop, and turn the fork compression or rebound 2 full turns either way.
You will now notice the loss or improvement in handling. It either got better or worse.
Stop turn it again either way. Same thing, does it feel better, or worse?
This is what you have to after setting sag anyway...fine tune. Fine tuning is usually a half turn at a time too. 2 full turns is to make a dramatic enough change so that you notice it, only now you know why, because you know what did to make it get that way.
The measuring sag gets you as close as it can within a range for Your weight(30-40mm)
Next, is as described above.
Preload, try 3-4 lines visible.
That should take a 10mm box end wrench,
mark a hex corner, count your turns, get the visible lines eyeballed evenly fork to fork.
Measure(a small metric ruler/scale is easist.
Turn one or other until their heigth matches.
The rear needs the spanner wrench.
For a gen2, 170-190lb rider, 3 threads visible above the top lock ring(tight), will get you in the ballpark.
Putting a passenger on will require more preload for similiar handling.