Sweet eyeglass hell, Thrash! Dude...I tried to read all of the post, but I just couldn't do it. That is one DAYUM long explanation....
Scooterlord....I agree with sledhead.
No, really...j/k. I agree with Rev and some of the other guys. I can see where you're coming from, because I have the sme tendency to let the women decide. (Hey...you keep momma happy and EVERYONE'S HAPPY). I think the both of you are just in a certain stage in oyur lives where you both still need to find your own niche...which is not a bad thing.
Perhaps it may seem hard to comprehend now, but everything happens for one reason or another...fugged up or real feel-good. I know, I know, so cliche, but it does tend to be true. I've heard the saying "Everything is clearer in retrospect"...and I agree with it whole-heartedly. Later on down the line you'll look back on this and you'll come to understand more about it than you do now...and you'll come to appreciate it so much more.
With regards to what to do...Man the fug up and get yer ass out there as soon as you're done with pitying yourself. I say that because you're never really gonna start to get over this until you decide for yourself to do it....for yourself. Ever hear the saying "you can lead a horse to the water, but you can never make it drink"? That's exactly my point...you can hear all the good advice that you can possibly hear, either here or elsewhere, or you can have your counselor talk till he's blue in the face, but until YOU decide for yourself to actually DO something about it, NOTHING will ever happen.
YOU hold the key to your life...you make the decisions that will affect both you and those you love. You will also determine for yourself how you handle your hardships in life....how you cope with them and how you rise above them.
Remember: "A man is not judged by how many times he has fallen, but by how he risen from each fall."
I know it's easier said than done...trust me, I've been there before. You have to let yourself hurt for a little while...and you also need to pick yourself back up. Doing both will make you more appreciative of the trials you face...and they will also help you to learn from them.
Keep yer fuggin chin up...in time, more will be revealed to you about this trial in your life, and trust me: it's an awesome feeling to be able to look back with a clear mind that appreciates what happened in the past while looking forward to the future.
I don't know if I made any sense, but hey...at least I tried!
Keep yer chin up, bro...
