lunch or drink w/ married EX...

[Revlis]

...and if lunch is at the EASY STREET INN with hourly rates, is that ok?

just kidding. Seriously, *I* know where things are for me, and her life has never run smoothly so I assume she's still all over the board.

I kinda thought the response would be nearly 50-50. It would be hard for me to step away after promising to be there no matter what - I'll skip the whole back story, but she is used to people screwing her over, and I was able to somewhat "repair" some of that with my integrity. It would be like all I ever was, was a lie. You know? Thru other mutual friends, I'm aware she's lost a lot of family in the past few years, and I think she is just reconnecting with old friends... you know how death can make you realize the importance of certain other things in life

I'm not trying to justify my actions, I sort of already made my decision as stated above. VERY EXCELLENT FEEDBACK though, guys! Much appreciated. I am on excellent friendly terms with all 4 of my married EX's and normally we chat emails every year or so, but this one is different: still close, but very distant due to issues in her life. Sounds like the married sector is against this sort of thing and I am very glad to hear that. There will be no hanky panky at all guarenteed trust me on that

I should add, being single, sometimes I don't have a good perspective of married's life. So, thanks again for the feedback

Sounds like a LOT of advice from the insecure, fragile marriage crowd Bro...

Like I said, lunch is lunch... I've been spending a lot of hours lately with models... Young 20 somethings, beautiful, clever, not wearing much, and working the camera. I've been hanging out with em' socially after work, putting them on the back of the bike, etc... Friends, and sometimes they can really use the advice and company of an older man who is impartial and who has more experience out there in the world and isn't trying to get them into bed.... Well not all of them anyway.

The wife knows where I am, who I am with and what we are doing. We have a strong healthy relationship, and seriously, sometimes lunch is just lunch. If an old friend needs you then you answer the call and help plain and simple. Especially when they are previous lovers or spouses, you've got little to hide, and it's easy to talk to them about anything.

 

[Mr Bogus]

...and if lunch is at the EASY STREET INN with hourly rates, is that ok?

just kidding. Seriously, *I* know where things are for me, and her life has never run smoothly so I assume she's still all over the board.

I kinda thought the response would be nearly 50-50. It would be hard for me to step away after promising to be there no matter what - I'll skip the whole back story, but she is used to people screwing her over, and I was able to somewhat "repair" some of that with my integrity. It would be like all I ever was, was a lie. You know? Thru other mutual friends, I'm aware she's lost a lot of family in the past few years, and I think she is just reconnecting with old friends... you know how death can make you realize the importance of certain other things in life

I'm not trying to justify my actions, I sort of already made my decision as stated above. VERY EXCELLENT FEEDBACK though, guys! Much appreciated. I am on excellent friendly terms with all 4 of my married EX's and normally we chat emails every year or so, but this one is different: still close, but very distant due to issues in her life. Sounds like the married sector is against this sort of thing and I am very glad to hear that. There will be no hanky panky at all guarenteed trust me on that

I should add, being single, sometimes I don't have a good perspective of married's life. So, thanks again for the feedback

Sounds like a LOT of advice from the Poorly MARRIED and insecure crowd Bro...

Like I said, lunch is lunch... I've been spending a lot of hours lately with models... Young 20 somethings, beautiful, clever, not wearing much, and working the camera. I've been hanging out with em' socially after work, putting them on the back of the bike, etc... Friends, and sometimes they can really use the advice and company of an older man who is impartial and who has more experience out there in the world and isn't trying to get them into bed.... Well not all of them anyway.

The wife knows where I am, who I am with and what we are doing. We have a strong healthy relationship, and seriously, sometimes lunch is just lunch. If an old friend needs you then you answer the call and help plain and simple. Especially when they are previous lovers or spouses, you've got little to hide, and it's easy to talk to them about anything.

or respectful...

safest place in the world for a married guy is a strip club with naked women...

I would respect my mate as there is no point in inviting even the possibility of an unwanted encounter... after all, after 10 years what the heck would she be wanting? a chat? I find it suspicious by nature myself...

 

[JR'S BUSA]

i'd say you can do lunch as long as BOTH of your significant others know about it. drinks i dont think would be such a good idea though. alchohol= inhabitions

 

[pbghost]

Sometimes Bro... Lunch is just lunch.  Means old friends with lots of history get together and have food, some conversation.

exactly what I was tryin' to say. never seems to be a problem among "trustworthy" male / female friends... even with a history, as long as either side is not expecting more, at least in my limited dealings

 

[BlueHaya]

..why dont you all 3 go out for drinks?

edit: and take a camera

 

[Mr Bogus]

..why dont you all 3 go out for drinks?

edit: and take a camera

there ya go....

 

[WWJD]

definitely interesting to see the varied responses. I know this is a subject few want to really think about but it is important

 

[semi]

well, i'm not currently married but i have been twice...this is a road straight into trouble, especially if she is not letting her husband know!!! trust me, i know where "re-connecting" can lead and if she is hiding this from her significant other, she has ulterior motives no matter what words are coming out of her mouth!!!

 

[GSXcite]

Not on a bet!

 

[BigBSBusa]

Every situation is different and yours is apparently amicable, but I would never entertain the notion.

 

[99'busa]

Run fast, run hard, run the other direction.

There isnt anything needed to catch up on. She is your ex, she is your ex for a reason.

She is married.

And I guess the simplest way to put it, would you want your wife meeting up with her ex over drinks just to "catch up"

Change your phone number and address and dont look back




Well you asked for my opinion

 

[JBradley0181]

Do it whats the worse that can happen she trys to take you home and you cause your a nice guy says no your married or then again she might of had a kid early enough with the husband that she might say its yours and try to hit you up for support then you could lose the busa and that would be a bad thing just do it as friends and only friends Goodluck on whatever it is you do man

 

[The Need For Speed]

Run fast, run hard, run the other direction.

There isnt anything needed to catch up on. She is your ex, she is your ex for a reason.

She is married.

And I guess the simplest way to put it, would you want your wife meeting up with her ex over drinks just to "catch up"

Change your phone number and address and dont look back




Well you asked for my opinion

Nicely put, my thought exactly

 

[BIKE DUDE]

Wrong but if you trust yourself?

 

[Jyn]

I would never go to lunch with an ex. Even if it is innocent. That would be asking for trouble, especially if it is just the 2 of you. No witnesses leads to he said, she said. Not good.

 

[Over_Easy]

Hale NO! From what I read she wronged you pal. Don't fall into making yourself feel guilty or go into gullible Nice Guy mode. What's so damn important that you have to meet in person? She contacted you on a telephone right? For all you know she may be doing this to see if you would really meet her after all this time then laugh with her friends about it later or to see if you will be there at her beckoning call if she decides she needs you. I have an ex-gf I lived with for less than a year and in short she was a conniving liar who wanted a sugar daddy. We broke up respectfully after I caught her in a lie but I haven't spoken to her in 10 years and would never even consider meeting her for lunch or anything else. I even saw her sister once a couple years later and her name never even came up.

I'm in what I believe to be the best relationship of all time with my wife of 5 years so the aforementioned is not crying over spilt milk history. Do yourself a favor and just say NO.

 

[HotFoot]

Don't Go
She's Up To Something

 

[GIXERHP]

not a chance......

+1

Me and mine still dont get a long!

Or you could say we love the hate each other! LOL

 

[WWJD]

well, lots more great input and much appriciated.

She had only contacted me via email, no phone calls. She never wronged me, our ending was amicable. I do not know if she would tell her hubby - I assume so.... just wondered what if she didn't? I guess I could GUARENTEE that was not a problem if I kept it in email only. But even that, in today's standard can be considered prelude to cheating, or actual cheating. I don't like being a party to that.

I'm very confident in my decisions, but I think in this particular case, I WILL take you guys advice and respectfully decline a meeting. It's always been my personal policy to never get together SOLO with someone of the opposite sex that is married - too many bad connotations with it. Trouble is, a lot of the personal background I can't go into.... Doctor / Patient confidentiality type of thing... makes it a tough choice for me with her.

I will simply tell her I'd prefer to keep it on an email level since I really don't know her that well anymore, and my "non-meeting marrieds" policy. That way if she NEEDS to talk, she can spill it via email, and I can carefully guide her in the right direction if needed.

Thanks again, for all your replies! I've know a lot of you [online] for a while now and have come to respect your opinions, judgements, and perspectives.

 

[bdogg317]

just say no to drugs.