Why do people wait so long to report abuse?

[BlueHaya]

Don Peters banned by U.S. Gymnastics after abuse allegations

[BusaBret]

Most of the time it is shame with the victims and others just don't want to get involved.

[Blanca BusaLess]

While it is no matter what wrong I dont see a coach having sex with 17 or 18 yr old girls the same as a man having sex with 10 year old boys.

I speak lightly....

I can see young girls infatuated with older men and having sex with them.
I don't see young boys dreaming about old men.

[Malicious]

While it is no matter what wrong I dont see a coach having sex with 17 or 18 yr old girls the same as a man having sex with 10 year old boys.

I speak lightly....

I can see young girls infatuated with older men and having sex with them.
I don't see young boys dreaming about old men.

that goes into what its technically rape, and what is legally rape... where im from (at least last i heard) you can consent to sex at 14, as long as the other person is no more than 2 years older than you,and that carries up to the age of 18, there is also what legally counts as consent... and legally speaking, its only consent if it is a definite yes, no response or an i guess we can do that isnt consent, and you cant legally give consent if you are under the influence of alcohol or any other substance, so if one were to pick someone up at the bar who was intoxicated, even if they say yes, enjoy it, wake up and go for breakfast the next morning and part ways on good terms legally it could be classified as rape, even tho technically they both consented an blah blah blah.... there is also the whole "position of authority/position of trust" thing that goes into it which prevents the whole its ok, im a doctor/teacher/coach/cop or you have to do what i say cuz im a cop/teacher/coach/doctor... now is it messed up that a much older gym coach is banging 17 year old students? yes but not so much cuz shes 17 and not 18, to me, its the conflict of interest i think that even at 14 or 15 most people know enough to know whats right and whats wrong and imo that goes for being tried as an adult in cases of violence, and if they dont there is something very wrong with the way they are being raised and taught hell, back in the day it was common place for 12 and 13 year old girls to be pushed into marriage with men in thier 20s and 30sim not saying that it was right, and im not saying that this situation is right... im not even sure what the point i was originally trying to make was, but i guess that just goes to show that this is a very complex topic and there has to be some grey area in there, it cant just be viewed as "15 will get you 20" so to speak

[Mr Brown]

While it is no matter what wrong I dont see a coach having sex with 17 or 18 yr old girls the same as a man having sex with 10 year old boys.

I speak lightly....

I can see young girls infatuated with older men and having sex with them.
I don't see young boys dreaming about old men.

It's criminally wrong because it's illegal. It's morally wrong because the older party should know that they are taking advantage of an unformed mind. I realize there is a double standard in our society with regard to gender and underage relationships, but that doesn't mean it's okay on the older persons part when the younger party steps up.
In regard to the original question, the short answer is that they are ashamed and blame themselves in some way.

[mr8ball]

Most of the time it is shame with the victims and others just don't want to get involved.

The above plus fear is what comes to my mine. I have never seen it but can honestly say if I did I would not let anyone get away with it.

[TallTom]

There are lots of reasons it goes un-reported. Shame, guilt, intimidation, public knowledge of having to deal with the stigma attached to it. Fear of retribution. Exclusion from activities you enjoy or are dedicated to.

Personal story. I'm an adult hetero male. 6'6" trained to take care of business if needed. I was a victin of sexual child abuse for years at the hands of my brother, his friends, later my scount leader and also a lifeguard. All male. I did NOTHING to deserve any of these and none of these were related to the other events.

All of the above reasons, were the reasons that I never said a word. My brother said he would kill me if I talked. I was 7. I believed him. Scout Leader said he'd throw me out of the Scouts. Lifegaurd said I'd never become a lifegaurd if I ever said anything.

We as males were told and taught we just tough things out and not show weakness. It was years ago. The only person I still would have any idea how to press charges on, would be my brother. My parents, don't need to endure that. No good can come out of it. I don't talk to him anyway. Haven't for years.

And that is the story of how these can happen and never get reported. As an adult now I feel badly that I did nothing to stop it as I'm sure it set a standard that allowed them to continue with others. But when your young, you process things differently.