Who says cops don't have a sense of humor?

thrasherfox

BUSA
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I dont know if the below is true or not.. But I could see it being real remarks since I know a lot of law enforcement lol





Who says cops don't have a sense of humor? The following were taken off of actual police car videos around the country.

1) "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."
2) "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
3) "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
4) "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second?In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."
5) "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
6) "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh ... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
7) "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
8) "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
9) "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey mess."

10) "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

11) "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

12) "Just how big were those two beers?"

13) "No sir. we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

14) "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

15) "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here." (OUCH!)
 
8) "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
They were all good, but for some reason I thought this one was the best...

Probably because I can imagine myself flying down the road at 120 mph completely sober, getting pulled over, and asked this question. I'd be sitting there so nervous thinking real hard for like a minute and then say: "cat....no dog!"

And then of course I would hear this one:

1) "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."
 
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There is no need for excuses when I'm ridin my stealth Busa. By the time his lights come on, I'll be in the backyard with the dog.
 
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