Threatening my Son

[BigmanZ]

sounds like you are doing the right thing, just a suggestion though..maybe some martial arts training would help him out in the future?? i`ve been in it all my life and all my kids have been in it and are all black belts(some 2nd degree) and my oldest an instructor. not to say they go around beating up on everyone, it`s usually the opposite because after a few scraps the other kids know to leave them alone and they look for someone else to pick on. of course this isn`t an instant fix but may help down the road??? it will also build confidence and self esteem that they will sometimes lose after being picked on. just my .02

1st, the second a weapon is used in a threat you need to immidiatly go to the police and file a report. You have past tape recordings, things are simply going to be on your side in this issue but you have to go get the Police involved. Effectively, if there is no report then it never happened.

+1 on the martial arts though. I've been in allot of fights as a kid and even into adulthood. I still remember never being able to walk away from a confrontation, but with my martial arts I learned that it's allways the stronger road to take. Definitly a good thing to teach any kid and it brings a definit level of confidence! Also for those confrontations that I couldn't walk away from, it helped having a black belt in Judo

 

[motogp08]

Learn how to produce projectile vomit on demand.

When approached by bullies, think of disgusting things and use finger to elicit gag reflex. Empty, your gut onto the bullies.

Grow older and laugh about it while telling friends over a few beers in college.

Sounds like something you'd do IN college.

 

[BigmanZ]

Is that stuff practical for everyday use?

I'd personally like to study Russian Systema.

Yes and no. Knowledge will allways make you more powerful, but it also has it's limits and knowing such is the key. No matter how proficient you are as a martial artist, you can still run into somebody who's simply heavier or stronger then you. This is why I carry a gun.

A story I'll allways remember from a lady who owned a gun shop. Told me about a friend of her's that that was an actual Instructor of her own martial arts class. One night while locking up a guy came into the Dojo and raped her. All of her training and experience meant nothing when he simply overpowered her attacks. She now carries a snubnose and still teaches.

On that same note though, I had a girl that I used to date a long time ago. I taught her a few things that I had learned but could never get her to join up with a group to learn it first hand. Abotu a month after breaking up with her I found out she was sexually attacked on one of the bike trails here in Washington. Without even thinking she snap punched the guy in the throat and took off while he was left trying to remember how to breath. Found help and the dude is now in jail. So it has it's place when used wisely. It's not the end all "I win button/Prepare to meet Chuck Norris" but it definitly stacks some odds in your corner.

 

[motogp08]

Thanks for the info. man! I've got a few years before i can pack heat tho.

But i definitely plan to eventually. "What do you carry?"

 

[rc51ny]

These are really hard situations to deal with. I'm a Middle school/High school Principal, so I've had some experience with this kind of stuff. First off, bullying behavior is LEARNED behavior. By that I mean this kid has been taught how to be a bully. He probably has been bullied in the past and now has to become a bully in order to make himself feel right. He will continue to seek out smaller. or weaker, or more timid individuals to bully so he can feel like a "BIG" man. SECOND, a person will continue to be a bully as long as they feel they can get away with it. Stand up to them and they'll back off an find another victim. Once a weapon is mentioned or produced, you have NO CHOCIE be involve the authorities. Oh yea, don't you love the way the father enables his son's behavior? Guess it will answered a lot of guestions about where the kid learned to become a bully and who is the actual bully to the kid!!!! And you said he'a a lawyer too? Figures!!!

 

[BigmanZ]

Thanks for the info. man! I've got a few years before i can pack heat tho.

But i definitely plan to eventually. "What do you carry?"

Glock 23 with rubber grip, my hands are just too damn big. Thing feels like a glove the way it fits my hand.

My friend used to carry a .44 magnum in a shoulder holster as his carry. I think he watched too many movies and thought it was more macho. He finally got the point though when we went to a range and I pulled out the stop watch and told him to draw. Took him 8 seconds to get a shot off. I then handed him the watch and did the same with my glock. Alittle over one second and I had nice little grouping of 3 holes in my paper target. He now switches between a Ruger .45 and a S&W 357 snubnose...much better choices then the hunting pistol he used to pack.

 

[DREW]

Get your kid in martial arts as soon as possible. 6 or 7 is the most desirable age to start but its never too late. My wife and I are into Chinese Kenpo. Very effective street fighting style. Much like Aikido. We are with Tracys karate in St Louis. They have many schools throughout the country. Look at Tracys.com for info. Good luck, and fight back !

 

[Dan]

Another +1 for Martial Arts.  

My wife, 3 kids and I all have black belts in Tae Kwon Do.  Before work got in the way, Diana and I were studying Southwestern Kenpo and really enjoyed it.

 

[PocketRocket]

Balance in martial arts , Punches and kicks are needed but also ground fighting..90% of the time fights end up on the ground. Jiu Jitsu- Jiu Jitsu. Trust me.. Russian Systema is also very good IF you can find a school.. Akido is basically Jiu Jitsu . Jit Jitsu just has a little more attitude.. But until he learns he needs a big Friend or a bottle of mace.. Once the bully cant see your son can beat him until he's black and blue.. Knees , throat, eyes.. . Bring him to his kness( mace first) chop across the throat( this usually makes the eyes buldge like a Simpson cartoon) then dig both thumbs in the eyes as deep as possible while driving headbutts B/T the eyes/knee the groin at the same time.When finished drive a pencil in the Vapires heart.Attiture Remember the Badger isnt scared of the Grizzly , Size does make a difference , MOST of the time... Get him in a MMA school asap. Good luck Bro.

 

[Mike.P175]

My son Lil Mike is still available free for the 1st arse
whipping he will be in Van Alstyne, TX. after the new year

 

[SnapAttack]

We've been looking into martial arts for him. I visited the instructors in the area and felt the presentation was "canned" marketing. Promises of belts by certain duration. Typical Tae Kwon Do pitch/program... get your belt in 2 years stuff. BS. One of the karate instructors took some time with me though. I told him I was looking for more of a MMA type program but would consider other art forms. But only if belt advances were realistic as well as the instruction. IF I enroll my son in a "fighting/defending" school, I expect him to come home bleeding from time to time. If he wants to advance his belt, I expect him to fight someone with that level belt and be judged on his ability to perform not just know the kata. He told me that unfortunately where I live what I ask is not realistic and he gave me this DVD series. Haven't looked at it yet but have started my son in the garage with boxing fundamentals. I've also been grappling with him making him work to get out from under 250 lbs. In high school I was involved in boxing and wrestling. He is progressing in his abilities... he just lacks the confidence and needs to overcome the fear of hitting someone for the first time. I've taught him not to push or verbally warn his opponent that "if you don't stop I'll hit you". Don't engage in verbal confrontations... walk away if possible... and if it looks like a fight is going to happen... be the first to throw and keep throwing. We've also worked on an open fist hammer punch to the bridge of the nose followed by double leg take down to full mount.

Any comments on the DVD series? Talking to a few of his freinds parents to see if he can get a training partenr to roll around with. Someone his size.

 

[SnapAttack]

Left Shin... Right shin... Solar Plexus... Throat... Jaw....
Practice at home frequently and repeat as necessary....

What ever happened to... eyes... ears... nose... throat...

Good info. Is it correct to teach him (for now) to never kick above the waist? I did show him to kick at his opponent's front leg with his back leg to draw his opponents eye's downward opening up a head strike. Is this suggested?

 

[MPH 200]

Snap I would probably get the school involved if there is mention of a weapon.
I was very skinny & small growing up & got picked on by 1 kid. My Dad told me to pick up the biggest thing I could find next time & hit him w/ it. Next time it happened, I hit that kid so hard w/ a tree branch that his Mother felt it. Never had a problem after that.

My Dad taught me one saying that I have used quite a few times & have avoided a physical conflict, " MOVE OR BLEED"

 

[Revolution]

Dress him up like this and be done with it...

Luke "I" am your Father.

 

[Revolution]

YEP Jiu Jitsu  is what he needs UNTIL then, $$$ talks find some big 15 16 year old mean azz looks good hearted kid . slip him a few bucks and have him beat the crap outta the bully punkazz..  Man I grew up in the hood .I went thru the same thing , after 9th grade I said no more!!! And its been no more.. I dont put up with it.  I got 5 black belts myself and owned a school.  yet I hate to fight , so get it over with fast!!  Give your son a roll of dimes and break the bullys face. or a pencil in the eye.

mannn that's schweet. i just started my Hung Gar training a year ago at age 40, wish i had learned as a kid but $$$ was tight for my 'rents. you can always use the training but you don't have to fight, i hate fighting also but this world doesn't.

 

[Revolution]

my father in law ranks HIIIIGH in Jiu-Jitsu, he gets invited to exhibit in japan all the time. he watched me train in the yard with my Hung Gar Kung Fu instructor and said in private to me that he'd teach me Jiu-Jitsu, but i just prefer the style of Kung Fu. either should stop someone need be.

i just recently purchased a DVD for my style and it helps with my form, i definately need to find someone to teach/spar with me though since my friend/Sifu has moved away.

best wishes.

 

[Projekt]

Left Shin... Right shin... Solar Plexus... Throat... Jaw....
Practice at home frequently and repeat as necessary....

What ever happened to... eyes... ears... nose... throat...

Good info. Is it correct to teach him (for now) to never kick above the waist? I did show him to kick at his opponent's front leg with his back leg to draw his opponents eye's downward opening up a head strike. Is this suggested?

Sure, that works too if the guy doesn't know how to duck or dodge.

What'll happen when the bully anticipates impact and ducks away from the typical right cross glory punch we all know how to throw???

In my opinion kicks are cool if you are a martial arts student at a competition being judged on style for points. However, on the street or playground, it is a different story and the trick isn't to dance around too much. Just make a point by dropping the fool quickly. You can do it many ways. Being kicked in the shins will hurt enough and assuming the bully is really a coward as most are, he will want cry as soon as he feels the impact.
The punk hasn't been challenged yet so a quick uppercut to the ribs (making sure to drag your knuckles across as many as you can) will probably make him remember not to fug with your boy again.

It will take some repetitive training over time to make your boy shoot jabs and attack like it is reflex. Prepare your son with some simple combinations, teach him how to connect a punch, show him what a thick book can do across some punk's dome and he will respect you forever. Most bullies don't know anything about fighting so use that knowledge to inspire your son with confidence in his abilities.

 

[Supergank1]

sounds like you are doing the right thing, just a suggestion though..maybe some martial arts training would help him out in the future?? i`ve been in it all my life and all my kids have been in it and are all black belts(some 2nd degree) and my oldest an instructor. not to say they go around beating up on everyone, it`s usually the opposite because after a few scraps the other kids know to leave them alone and they look for someone else to pick on. of course this isn`t an instant fix but may help down the road??? it will also build confidence and self esteem that they will sometimes lose after being picked on. just my .02

IMO any martial arts would be good , your right some of the schools are just about the money so do your research and find a good school with a good master. i wouldn`t expect him to come home with battle wounds from sparring for a while , he will have to get a few belts and some experience before he begins full contact sparring. if they just throw him into full contact i would look for another school because it could have the opposite effect from what you are trying to achive. i`d get him on the weights at 12-13 also and maybe another contact sport such as football. my son was a little overweight and timid when he was 10-12 but got him on the weights and martial arts and football/wrestling and he changed almost instantly. now he`s 24 and is 6-4 255lbs and is benching about 500 !! and he`s a good man. anyway good luck.

 

[suzuki4life]

First off martial arts is not the answer for anything but to help your child gain self confidence and respect. If he came to you with his problems he has both. Not everyone is desinied to be the next Brucce Leeand I have seen plenty of highly trained men get their butts handed to them in bar room brawls so never think training guarantees victory.

Second, children should NOT be fighting or bullied on a daily basis. Supporting your child to fight in this day and age as an answer to such a problem will get you and him in big trouble. You have done great so far. You have documented the situation and had a meeting with the other guardian to make resolution. The next step is as follows. Take a day to meet your child at school or stay with him whereever he is having these confrontation issues with this child. If possible, talk to this boy and tell him it IS over or you will have the police involved. Once they are involved his dad will have more headaches which no one actually needs. Make no threats, tell him that if he has a problem he needs to talk about, you will help him or help him find someone to talk about it (never doubt the kid is lashing out from abuse within his own home). This is a child, never forget that.

If the situation continues, contact the police. Explain the situation and state, "I want to file a civil complaint." Say it exactly in that manner and insist the officer comes to YOUR door. You do not want to be in a police department ranting about how your kid is getting bullied. You want the cop on your home turf where you feel comfortable and can explain rationally what is going on. If you state, " I want to file a civil complaint", the officer CAN NOT refuse to file a report and/or appropriate citations.

Once the cop contacts the other parent, 99.999% of the time the situation will end.

 

[MO-BUSA]

i think you did the right thing buy talking to this kids parents first, the eye opener for the dad should have been the tape recorded device, he should have took action right there in front of you and verberly or woodsheded the boy, humiliation is the best thing for this type of behavior, expecially in front of peers and friends, too bad the dad doesnt realize that, and there lies the problem we all face as parents, most of us try to do the right things in our teachings to our kids but there are some that dont have a clue like this kids dad...

just continue with what your doing, keep your cool, enroll your boy in some martial arts and all will be well, i too had this problem when i was young...good luck bro