The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a
>>surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was
>>to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off
>>now. The man should be here soon."
>>
>>
>>
>>Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer
>>happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. Good morning,
>>Ma'am", he said, "I've come to...''
>>
>>
>>
>>Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed. "I've been
>>expecting you."
>>
>>
>>
>>"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did
>>you know babies are my specialty?"
>>
>>
>>
>>"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a
>>seat."
>>
>>
>>
>>After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
>>
>>
>>
>>"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the
>>couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room
>>floor is fun. You can really spread out there."
>>
>>
>>"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry
>>and me!"
>>
>>
>>
>>"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we
>>try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles,
>>I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
>>
>>
>>
>>"My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.
>>
>>
>>
>>"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be
>>in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."
>>
>>
>>
>>"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.
>>
>>
>& gt;
>>The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his
>>baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.
>>
>>
>>
>>"Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
>>
>>
>>
>>"And these twins turned out exceptionally well -- when you consider
>>their mother was so difficult to work with."
>>
>>
>>
>>"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
>>
>>
>>
>>"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the
>>job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a
>>good look."
>>
>>
>>
>>"Four and five deep?" said d Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
>>
>>
>>
>>"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too.
>>The mother was constantly squealing and yelling -- I could hardly
>>concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots.
>>Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had
>>to pack it all in."
>>
>>
>>
>>Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your,
>>uh... equipment?"
>>
>>
>>
>>"It's true, Ma'am, yes. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod
>>and we can get to work right away."
>>
>>
>>
>>"Tripod?"
>>
>>
>>
>>"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much
>>too big to be held in the hand very long."
>>
>>
>>
>>Mrs. Smith fainted.
>>surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was
>>to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off
>>now. The man should be here soon."
>>
>>
>>
>>Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer
>>happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. Good morning,
>>Ma'am", he said, "I've come to...''
>>
>>
>>
>>Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed. "I've been
>>expecting you."
>>
>>
>>
>>"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did
>>you know babies are my specialty?"
>>
>>
>>
>>"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a
>>seat."
>>
>>
>>
>>After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
>>
>>
>>
>>"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the
>>couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room
>>floor is fun. You can really spread out there."
>>
>>
>>"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry
>>and me!"
>>
>>
>>
>>"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we
>>try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles,
>>I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
>>
>>
>>
>>"My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.
>>
>>
>>
>>"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be
>>in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."
>>
>>
>>
>>"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.
>>
>>
>& gt;
>>The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his
>>baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.
>>
>>
>>
>>"Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
>>
>>
>>
>>"And these twins turned out exceptionally well -- when you consider
>>their mother was so difficult to work with."
>>
>>
>>
>>"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
>>
>>
>>
>>"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the
>>job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a
>>good look."
>>
>>
>>
>>"Four and five deep?" said d Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
>>
>>
>>
>>"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too.
>>The mother was constantly squealing and yelling -- I could hardly
>>concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots.
>>Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had
>>to pack it all in."
>>
>>
>>
>>Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your,
>>uh... equipment?"
>>
>>
>>
>>"It's true, Ma'am, yes. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod
>>and we can get to work right away."
>>
>>
>>
>>"Tripod?"
>>
>>
>>
>>"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much
>>too big to be held in the hand very long."
>>
>>
>>
>>Mrs. Smith fainted.
