Rules of the road.

[RaiderDm]

RULESOF THE ROAD IN FLORIDA

1.Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Florida driver never uses them.

2.Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3.The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.

4.Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will result in you being rear-ended.

5.Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork, especially someone from Florida or Georgia. With no-fault insurance the other guy doesn't have anything to lose.

6.Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.

7.Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to prepare for people entering the highway.

8.Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and are apparently not enforceable in Palm Beach County during rush hour.

9.Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a Florida driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

10.Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim.

11.Learn to swerve abruptly. Florida is the home of high-speed slalom driving.

12.It is traditional in Florida to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light turns green.

13.Remember that the goal of every Florida driver is to get there first by what ever means necessary.

14.In Florida, "flipping someone the bird" is considered a polite salute. This gesture should always be returned.

THANKYOU & HAVE A SAFE JOURNEY

[Let 'er eat!]

Yep that sounds like my area

[VaBusa]

Same here, but I'd have to add the "oh, you signaled to turn left, but then you really turned right" for the older folks that can barely see over the steering wheel...or, those that don't know their right from their left...

Gives you warm fuzzies, doesn't it?!

[SmiLyPR4U]

Good 'ol Florida...if that's Palm Beach you don't wanna know what we suffer here in Kissimmee/Orlando w/all the tourons (tourists morons).

[Revlis]

He He... Yup, this is why I split lanes, never ride below 90MPH, never signal, I stop at green lights, I swerve even more abruptly, and will actually scrape the side of the car in front thats boxed in as I flash past, after I flash my high beam at him.

Sounds just about right though seriously, especially the NO Signals, and No following distance... Florida has completely re-aligned my perceptions of what bad driving is. Everytime I travel out of state to Colorado, hell even Georgia I am constantly amazed at how much the skill and courtesy of the drivers improves... Florida has to have about the worst concentration of self absorbed, impatient, pinheaded cagers in the country... I cannot go a day without witnessing first hand the ignorance...

The list is incomplete though. Lets not forget about the rule that states you must honk at the guy in front of you if he fails to pull into and block the intersection during rushhour...Yeah I like that one... Or the Honk and give the finger to anyone who dares pull into the right lane and slow for Emergency Vehicles, then honk again as they try to get back into traffic...

[Mikey D]

Sounds like NY as well.

Don't forget the drive with you left turn signal on forever!

[gaw]

Good list, pretty close to the california DMV handbook.

There is one her in Cali, that I did not see, Driving at or below the speed limit in the left "fast" lane (yes I do know that there is not a fast lane, per CHP), is expected especially when you can get the senior discount at Dennys.

There is always turning your signal on 4 turns prior to your expected turn.

And I believe there is a new supplimental handbook in the works:
Proper driving while talking on the cell phone and doing 10 mph slower than anyone else on the frwy.

[justintime2]

[Big O]

Same here with the exception of no-fault insurance.
The daily ride on L.A. freeways is an "adventure" to say the least.

[stkr00]

Aaah...brings back memories of my last trip through Chicago during rush hour. FUN STUFF!

[SHODA]

So are you saying the average IQ of most drivers around our great nation is that of a handball ?

[BusaFever]

[Ride_or_Fish]

It's a crying shame - that list of rules was for NY. The last time I consulted in NY, I realized the drivers up there were far more predictable and controlled. It's near time to move ...

[Revlis]

So are you saying the average IQ of most drivers around our great nation is that of a handball ?

No way man, at least if you smack the crap out of a handball it figures out what it's purpose is and reacts accordingly.

Hand balls know their function in life and they serve their purpose...so

Hand balls 1
Average cager 0

[ghosthawk]

And lets not forget the classic 'slam on the brakes in the merge ramp because you forgot to look at the road as you were merging into another car' move

[GrnClvrs]

Also there is the

"I gotta move into the left lane NOW so I can turn left in 10 miles".

"I gotta get to the u-turn in front of me when I get on the highway so the highway has to be perfectly clear and if I go the extra 1/2 mile to the next one I may not have enough gas to get home."

" What, I can turn right on red?"

[ridercoach]