Real adverts from Scotland....

delboy

God save the Queen.......
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Real adverts from people looking for partners in Scotland


Grossly overweight Buckie turf-cutter, 42 years old and 23 stone, Gemini, seeks nimble sexpot, preferably South American, for tango sessions, candlelit dinners and humid nights of screaming passion. Must
have own car and be willing to travel.
Box 09/08

Aberdeen man, 50, in desperate need of a ride. Anything considered.
Box06/03

Heavy drinker, 35, Glasgow area, seeks gorgeous sex addict interested in pints, fags, Celtic football club and starting scraps on Sauchiehall Street at three in the morning.
Box 73/82.

Bitter, disillusioned Dundonian lately rejected by long-time fiancée seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in this cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches.
Box 53/41

Ginger-haired Partick troublemaker, gets slit-eyed and shirty after a few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes, maybe more.
Box 84/87

Artistic Edinburgh woman, 53, petite, loves rainy walks on the beach, writing poetry, unusual sea-shells and interesting brown rice dishes, seeks mystic dreamer for companionship, back rubs and more as we bounce
along like little tumbling clouds on life's beautiful crazy journey.
Strong stomach essential Box 12/32

Chartered accountant, 42, seeks female for marriage. Duties will include cooking, light cleaning and accompanying me to office social functions.
References required. No timewasters.
Box 23/45

Bad-tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard living in a damp cottage in the arse end of Orkney seeks attractive 21-year old blonde lady with big chest.
Box 40/27

Devil-worshiper, Stirling area, seeks like-minded lady for wining and dining, good conversation, dancing, romantic walks and slaughtering dogs in cemeteries at midnight under the flinty light of a pale moon.
Box 52/07

Attractive brunette, Maryhill area, winner of Miss Wrangler competition at Frampton's Nightclub, Maryhill, in September 1978, seeks nostalgic man who's not afraid to cry, for long nights spent comfort-drinking and
listening to old Abba records. Please, Please!
Box 30/41

Govan man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for the night of February 27 between 8pm and 11.30pm

Will translate where required  
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(deldewey @ Nov. 09 2006,10:46) Bad-tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard living in a damp cottage in the arse end of Orkney seeks attractive 21-year old blonde lady with big chest.
Box 40/27
they say everybody has a twin, i think we just found RSD's
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Translation as requested:

Buckie turf-cutter - This could have two meanings:

1) Buckie is a small village in the North of Scotland, where they dig peat for fuel to burn on the fire. (winter in Scotland is shid).

2) Buckie (Buckfast Abbey wine 14% proof) popular drink with Scottish alcoholics,
so he could be a pissed up peat digger.

UK unit of a persons weight (stone = 14 lbs) so the guy is 322 lbs. In the UK this is a "fat bastard" who eat all the pies.


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(deldewey @ Nov. 10 2006,02:40) Translation as requested:

Buckie turf-cutter - This could have two meanings:

1) Buckie is a small village in the North of Scotland, where they dig peat for fuel to burn on the fire. (winter in Scotland is shid).

2) Buckie (Buckfast Abbey wine 14% proof) popular drink with Scottish alcoholics,
so he could be a pissed up peat digger.

UK unit of a persons weight (stone = 14 lbs) so the guy is 322 lbs. In the UK this is a "fat bastard" who eat all the pies.


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Thanks! I always wondered how much a stone was worth in the US terminology...

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(semi @ Nov. 09 2006,11:49)
(deldewey @ Nov. 09 2006,10:46) Bad-tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard living in a damp cottage in the arse end of Orkney seeks attractive 21-year old blonde lady with big chest.
Box 40/27
they say everybody has a twin, i think we just found RSD's
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Thats not my twin...

Thats my ad. Thats my P.O. Box number....
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RSD.
 
Wow, a showing by RSD. Hope you're doing well, you mangy ol' bastad!.
 
(Over_Easy @ Nov. 11 2006,07:38) Wow, a showing by RSD.  Hope you're doing well, you mangy ol' bastad!.
I was good till I read your post...

Did I ever tell you I hate Over Easy...
 
I much prefer.... scrambled. Like my brains....
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How you doin' O.E. ? Hope all is well in your world.

RSD.
 
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