One year ago today I lost my lil buddy :-(

[CASH$$$$]

Well...They say ..what doesent kill you only makes you stronger.....But personally I think they are full of B.S.,,,I lost my little brother in September of 1995 in a truck accident...He was so full of life and made everyone around him smile and was well like by all of his friends and loved by all his family..There isint a day goes by that I can still hear him say my name,,,in his scratchy voice...He was the class clown and a comedian,but he was also a rated genius with an iq of 180,,he was in gifted and talented programs until he was 17 and it was at thime he began to outgrow the program and was moved into out of high school programs...where he acceled above the rest....He was a verry special person in my life..I remembere the day he took the taining wheels off his bmx bike at 3 years of age...and at 10 tore apart his own kx80 kawasaki dirt bike transmission and all...and within 3 days had it all back together and working in order..my dad and myself were amazed......no manuals just photographic memory I guess,but we both had bets and my dad won,cause I swore he'd never be able to re-assemble that thing...But the thing is you never know when they will go....You need to make the most of what time you have with them....let them know you love them.....my brother and I had an argument the day before the night he was killed..and I still carry this with me today,and I drive by the cemetery where he is burried every day on my way into town....its been this way since 1995....and I still feel the pain....But BT.....try to hol it together and keep yo head up...someday you will see her again.......GOD WILLING.....In the meantime...think of the good times..as I do ......And who knows....you may even catch yourself smiling about something they did that was just too funny...I know even today I still do this...(set around thinking of something funny my brother did).....and Yes I DO CATCH MYSELF SMILING.....He has been dead 10 years now and no-one will ever know what he would have been when he turned into a man...we can only think about what he may have done and hope that GOD is with him and he is WITH THE LORD....I know even now he has a better life than I.......He was only 17.......................................................Stephen

 

[MET]

Somtimes we just never know why, but there is always a higher reason. Hold on to those memories that is the true celebration of life..

 

[tbonebusa]

Hold those special memories close to you always, Chris......she will be with you forever in your heart.

 

[HayaGreg]

BT
I lost my Dad last year and my brother back in '95. Trust me, it will get better.
It really helps doing things like you did today.

 

[PACIFICBUSA]

Hard times, bro.....

Glad I could be there with ya... (at least in spirit)...and glad that you're still around and makin the best of her memories. I'm sure that she's smiling down on you.

 

[BulletTrain]

Thanks yet again for the replies and thoughts.

 

[VaBusa]

Oh BT...I don't know how I missed this!

I remember that day...funeral was on a Saturday, right? I came by the office just to check in with you, and cried off an on all day long...I still have her pics as well...even though I never met her, she's always in my heart...

I can't imagine how her parents are doing with this anniversary...please tell them they're always in my thoughts...

 

[BulletTrain]

Oh BT...I don't know how I missed this!

I remember that day...funeral was on a Saturday, right? I came by the office just to check in with you, and cried off an on all day long...I still have her pics as well...even though I never met her, she's always in my heart...

I can't imagine how her parents are doing with this anniversary...please tell them they're always in my thoughts...

Thanks Michelle. I'll pass your thoughts on.

And yes, it was a Saturday funeral. One I'll never forget. I know you'll remember this pic. Funeral processions in our county get one, maybe two marked escorts. My co-workers and friends came in off duty to lead her's. She had 12 patrol cars and an ambulance (unheard of unless it's a cop/fire fighter/emt funeral) leading and if I remember correctly there were six more patrol cars bringing up the rear...

I don't remember if I ever posted this one or not, but this was the heaviest load I've ever carried in my life. You don't know pain until you've carried a child you love to their final resting place... This is me and her Mom's brother carrying her into the church for the service... If you could see my face, you'd see the pain. Hardest thing I've ever had to do...

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[VaBusa]

No...I can't imagine what that all felt like BT...just so incredibly sad...

Little Kelsey's in my thoughts; I don't think she'll ever leave...

 

[shenoyp]

BT its a big pain to see anyone close to us die! Its a even greater pain to see a kid that we love die

I pray to god for that beautiful child and to give you lots of strength -hug-

 

[BulletTrain]

BT its a big pain to see anyone close to us die! Its a even greater pain to see a kid that we love die

I pray to god for that beautiful child and to give you lots of strength -hug-

Thanks bro. Nothin' but love here.

 

[BulletTrain]

I pray to god for that beautiful child and to give you lots of strength -hug-

Oh, and you'd better pray FOR God as well and wish him strength. I trained my lil buddy right. She's givin' him fits no doubt!

She could keep up with me & her Dad with the cuttin' up and all. God's got his hands full with this one!

 

[GD4GVN]

I wasn't around when this happened but when I saw those last two pictures of the funeral procession and you carrying that little girl I started to cry. I am not a real emotional person but kids are definitly my weak point. I can't stand to see a child in pain or hurt and it's reallt hard to see that small casket. BT my prayers go out for you and your family.

 

[BulletTrain]

On that note a funny story. Her little Brother had a helium filled balloon the other day and let it get away from him. At first it made him mad, but then he sort of just smiled and said, "That's ok, I'll let Kelsy have that one." as it floated toward the sky. Enough to break the toughest heart in the world, right? Well, when they told me this I just laughed. They asked me what was so funny... I told them that my first thought was that he didn't lose the balloon. Kelsy reached down and took it from him!

Another thing they done at the memorial the other night was release probably 25-30 balloons with notes to her on them. He got a kick out of that.

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[BulletTrain]

I wasn't around when this happened but when I saw those last two pictures of the funeral procession and you carrying that little girl I started to cry. I am not a real emotional person but kids are definitly my weak point. I can't stand to see a child in pain or hurt and it's reallt hard to see that small casket. BT my prayers go out for you and your family.

Thanks man. I'm not a very outwardly emotional person either, but anything to do with kids just melts my heart. Thanks again for the thoughts and prayers.

 

[GD4GVN]

No problem.

 

[GD4GVN]

On that note a funny story. Her little Brother had a helium filled balloon the other day and let it get away from him. At first it made him mad, but then he sort of just smiled and said, "That's ok, I'll let Kelsy have that one." as it floated toward the sky. Enough to break the toughest heart in the world, right? Well, when they told me this I just laughed. They asked me what was so funny... I told them that my first thought was that he didn't lose the balloon. Kelsy reached down and took it from him!

Another thing they done at the memorial the other night was release probably 25-30 balloons with notes to her on them. He got a kick out of that.

thats awesome!

 

[Red05]

On that note a funny story. Her little Brother had a helium filled balloon the other day and let it get away from him. At first it made him mad, but then he sort of just smiled and said, "That's ok, I'll let Kelsy have that one." as it floated toward the sky. Enough to break the toughest heart in the world, right? Well, when they told me this I just laughed. They asked me what was so funny... I told them that my first thought was that he didn't lose the balloon. Kelsy reached down and took it from him!

Another thing they done at the memorial the other night was release probably 25-30 balloons with notes to her on them. He got a kick out of that.

Thanks for relaying that, BT. Great idea with the balloons!

 

[BLKBLU04]

I don't know how I missed this post. Anyways BT, your a strong man so take care. Sorry for your loss.

 

[shenoyp]

sure thing, will pray FOR god also BT