One year ago today I lost my lil buddy :-(

[BulletTrain]

Well, it was one year ago today that I lost a part of my life and posted

One year ago today I lost one of the most important things I've ever had in my life... As horrible as that was, I also found out that there are still a LOT of awesome people in the world and a TON of them are on this site.

Tonight we held a memorial get together and a celebration of my lil buddy's short, sweet life. I done ok while we were all together and remembering the good times, but as I type this I can't hardly see the screen for the tears. I wasn't even going to sign back on before bed but I really wanted to thank you all again and share something.

One of the things we done as part of the celebration was to bring all the best pics we could find of her, both alone as well as with her brother, sister, Mother and Father. The idea was to let them (her immediate family) each make their own photo collage using all the photos we brought. Each one got to pick out the photos that meant the most to them and put them together however they saw fit. As much as I know it hurt them, I know it really meant something to them as well. Lots of laughing and crying going on.

Well, as they were digging through the pics they ran across the two I'm about to share and wanted me to have them. They weren't "BT Quality" pics and the scans are crappy, too since I couldn't see the screen very well through tears, but I can't express with words how much these two photos mean to me. I jsut wanted to share them with the folks that meant so much to me during the worst time of my life.

Ok, I'm about to lose my composure and prolly won't be able to type at all, so on with the pics...

This is me holding both of the twins. Jake in his little popo suit on my left and my lil buddy on my right drinkin'... prolly red koolaid.

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[BulletTrain]

And here's the tear jerker... Kelsey climbin' all over me like a lil monkey as usual. If you can't see the love in my face for these kids, you have to be blind...

 

[BulletTrain]

Sorry to break them up by attaching them but I'm not with it enough to do the whole hosting, embedding thing right now.

And again, thanks from the bottom of my heart for what you all done for me when this happened. I'll never be able to thank you enough.

BT

 

[StuandJoy]

Takes a strong person to make it thru somethin like this.

I wasnt here when it happened but I pray for your family now.







Stu

 

[mzrsq]

Not much more can be said, or needs said. Enjoy your memories BT, for with them lifes eternal.

 

[BigBSBusa]

Couldn't believe it when it happened, BT, and still can't! Time does heal old wounds, but its sad there even has to be a wound!

 

[stkr00]

The anniversaries of the day we lose those that are close to us are NEVER easy. It's been 14 years since I lost my Brother, and every year is a trying time.

I remember reading that post, and even now my heart aches for the pain your family has to endure.

My thoughts are with you Chris. Take care.

 

[busahaya]

BT, I really don't know what to say Bro, I wouldn't know how to react if something like that happened to My Lil Baby Girl Isis. A prayer has been sent for Your BabyGirl, You & Your Baby Girls Family.



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[flyboy]

BT, I too have lost some one I loved dearly and it helps to keep their memories alive by celebrating the wonderful times spent with he or she. May God Bless them all for they are in heaven.

 

[bacharles]

Damn BT, someone had ressurected that thread and I was re-reading it and thought it was strange because I had heard the story before. I started offering my prayers for yet another tragedy when I looked at the date of the original post, then I was actually relieved.

I definitely can feel your pain BT. I lost my mother over 18yrs ago and it still hurts sometime. I know I often wonder "why the good die young?"

 

[Pipefighter248]

BT, I am glad that you and your family are doing better. Prayers sent out to your family to remain strong.

 

[ks-waterbug]

Train.. even after a year, your post still brings a tear to my eyes. The pictures show exactly what I'd expect. A loving, caring, gentle giant engaged with the most important things life has to offer............ Children!
Your family/friends are still in Ks prayers.

 

[BulletTrain]

Thanks for the kind words, thoughts, and prayers folks. Last night was the toughest time I guess I've had with it since the initial hit wore off. I lost my Mother several years back and even though that still hurts, it's not the same as the loss of a child... even though she wasn't my child. I guess we're programmed to think that the children are supposed to outlive us and carry on what we pass on to them. It's hard to deal with them going before we do. That just ain't how it's supposed to work.

Even though last night stirred up some tough memories, fortunately it was for the most part a very positive time. Thank God I'm part of a family that can pull together and support one another. On top of that I have a great circle of friends, both here and offline, that step to the plate and offer their support. I'll never forget the fact that the h.org flower arrangement was the biggest one at the funeral.

Oh, and since it's on my mind... I said it in the old thread but I'm going to say it again. If you have children in your life please take time out every day to show them love and enjoy them. Those good memories may be all you have some day. And let me tell you, I'm not sure how folks could deal with this without memories of the good times.

Thanks again,
BT

 

[BulletTrain]

Train.. even after a year, your post still brings a tear to my eyes. The pictures show exactly what I'd expect. A loving, caring, gentle giant engaged with the most important things life has to offer............ Children!
Your family/friends are still in Ks prayers.

Yeah, children are my biggest weakness. I've worked cases where some low life piece of crap mistreated a child and let me tell you, it takes every ounce of restraint that ol' BT has in him to keep from rippin' their head off bare handed. I'm one of the most non-violent people you'll ever meet. I've NEVER had a complaint against me for unnecessary or excessive force. I get the job done and that's it... But when I'm dealing with someone that has hurt a child I pray to God that they don't buck up. I'm afraid I might end up in trouble if they ever gave me a reason to get started on 'em. It's the toughest thing I've dealt with in 11 years of LE...

So, if ya'll ever see ol' BT on CNN for tearing someone's head off and gutting them through their neck, you'll know what they done.

 

[MrGxr]

BT, wasn't around last year, but tears are falling now. Children are a blessing and something to be cherished each at all times. Members of my family have lost children through the years and each time it hurts and the thoughts of why did this happen to one so young and innocent, its unfair. It has taken me awhile, but I have another way of looking at it now... those young, innocent ones we lose early in thier lives are blessed to go home without being corrupted by this world and its problems. Prayers went up and she will now be included in my prayers for all the children.
Side note: BT I'd be right next to ya on CNN...

 

[DAB]

It has taken me awhile, but I have another way of looking at it now... those young, innocent ones we lose early in thier lives are blessed to go home without being corrupted by this world and its problems.

I feel the same way. Good people are sometimes taken early because there's a purpose for them elsewhere. Those of us who still have something to learn get to stick around a bit longer.

BT, I haven't been in your position but I can imagine the pain.

Best wishes and sympathy to you and yours.

 

[Revlis]

Yeah, I remember... Rough Bro...

 

[Monty]

Wow BT, I wasn't aware of this before. I'm so sorry for your loss, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

 

[BulletTrain]

Thanks again to all...

 

[Red05]