My Dads not well.

newman

Registered
A few months ago my mum found my dad collapsed on the bathroom floor, she woke him up got him to bed and he didn't remember anything. Me my brother and mum tried to get him to go to the doctor, but he wouldn't.
I phone them two or three times a week, and always nag him to go to the doctors, typical man he says I'll go next week but never did.
Since the first incident he's had two sort of fits in bed, shaking, dribbling. Mum has tried to wake him up but can't and he never remembers anything.
Well on Monday last he finally went to the doctors and they gave him some tablets for vertigo, he had some before but I just found out he stopped taking them, and he has got to go for a brain scan soon.
Mum and dad are on holiday with us at the moment and he seem alright apart from his memory which is going a bit. He has Lost weight.
My dad is 83 years old and my mum is 82.
They keep active, go out three times a week, shopping paying their rent and stuff.
Lynne and me did ask if they wanted to move in with us, mum would have but dad thought he would lose his Independence.
The thing is, and this worries me is he is acting like he is going to die.

Since the first incident he tells me he loves me every time we talk on the phone, and he has never been like this, then he has just given me the family medals from the time he, his dad and family were in the military.
He says I'm the oldest and I should have them now. He has told me where all his camcorders, cameras, and other things are.

I got them HD satellite and pay for it, it's only £10.25 a month, and they've had it about four months, so he's just gave me £150.00 for it, I don't want the money but he's being stubborn. And he keeps on offering me money, he wanted to pay for my bike service, breakdown cover, which I've already got, takeaways.
I'm just worried about him, I love my mum and dad very much their good people.
I just wanted to get this off my chest, and I feel I can do it on the org.
Thank you.
 
Sorry to hear about dads health. Try to keep after him to see the Doc. My Grandfather was the same way...everyone kept telling granddad he need to see the Dr. about some `pains`..finally he agreed...apointment for Monday to see the Dr., and the Sunday prior he passed on....11-12 years ago.
 
I know how you feel , My mom did the same thing when she was getting sick . Its just you start to realize that when you are getting older you got to have things covered. like who gets what . and saying I love you ... well you should say it like its the last time you'll see someone all the time, because you never know . I'm sure he feels vunerable now but doesn't want to admit it. Its hard I know . Sending prayers that everything will be okay !
 
Your Dad senses his time is near, and he's doing the only thing he can, prepare you for it. When people get to a certain age, they come to terms and resign themselves to their death, and kinda quit trying so hard to keep living (my wife's grandmother 90+ is doing the same thing right now). Do what makes him happy, if he wants to give you stuff, take and show the appreciate he needs to see. Prepare yourself.

My dad is 80 this year. He's always been very active for his age, but I can see he's slowing, and it frustrates him because he can't always to the things he wants to do (and now has the time to do them). We work so hard from 20 to 60-70 to make something of our lives and hope to retire to do them, then find our bodies won't allow it.
 
(((hugs))) and prayers for your Dad and your family!!! The gifts he is giving you is his way of feeling useful. Let him feel useful, it will make him happy. I hope they do take you up on your offer to move in with you. It would probably ease your Mom's mind some to have the extra help if something does happen. God Bless.
 
newman,

I think your a hell of a good guy --- just incase you think your words and thoughts written on this site go un-noticed :beerchug:

Hope the best for your parents .
 
sending prayers for you and your parents

they gave my grandfather 6 months to live when he wasn't much older than me and he stretched it out another 30 years before cancer finally got him...he said he just wasn't ready to go and he didn't...then, i called him one day and he said it was almost time for him to go home...i took a month's leave at work and went to spend it with him and we had a great time...during those weeks, we talked about many things and i gave him my word that i would do a couple things for him that he didn't trust anyone else with...after that, he just seemed to settle down and accept that life was done...he was ready and i was sad and yet happy for him that he had made it to the end without regrets and a smile on his face

let your dad do what he needs to in order to leave this world with his heart at peace...it is very hard when we lose a loved one but it's not so bad when you know they are just on the other side and you'll be reunited soon
 
I think my dad knew when it was time also. In fact, I am so very glad I took all of my kids to see him that night before he died. Mom told me after we left that night, Dad looked at her and said he was finally able to see all of his kids and grandkids together without anyone fighting. I have 3 little sisters. That night, he let go.
 
My grandpa just came for a visit a couple weeks ago. We don't talk much at all. He lives in AZ and I in WI and I haven't seen him in a couple years. He is very much the silent type. This visit was different. He was more interested in what I do, and was more willing to talk about his life than he has ever been. I can tell something is different. The morning he left he was telling me how proud he was of me, etc. I've been upset since. I think you just realize you know when the last time you will see someone is, and I think I've realized that as well. Very sad. He is 84 and in good health for the most part.. I feel your pain.
Prayers sent for your dad and your family in general.
 
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