I'll start this by saying that I'm not in the best mental state at the moment.... by that I mean... a few drinks... Ive been out to dinner and a movie tonight with my lovely wife and with that comes some partaking.
Those of you who have served know how hard it is to be thanked or praised for your service. We know how hard it is to feel special or different than other people. Most of us feel like this is just our path in life. Like those who are police officers, computer programmers, car salesmen, coal miners, etc. We feel that this is where we belond based on some ability to deal with situations that others might find impossible. I consistently remind myself that if the United States were attacked on our own soil it would not be the military that would save our nation but the brave citizens that would take up arms against an enemy. Therefore I find it incredibly difficult to take thanks, special treatment or any activity that sets me apart specifically. This thread is not in anyway designed for attention or recognition. I know what my buddies and I have accomplished. I know what we have seen and that is because we are meant to have seen it. All generations since the beginning of time have seen tough times. I am glad that I am fit and healthy enough to meet the challenges but also believe that it is a higher power (if you will) that has given me these qualities and not I that should be credited.
Today I faced what many of my predecessors have faced. Anti-Soldier protests. I saw these protests while in Kuwait in 2003 on the eve on invasion. I sat in a chow hall tent watching the news which showed US citizens burning flags and shouting anti-war protests. It hurt deep within my soul to see this. However, I washed the feelings and thoughts away with minimal trouble.
My first tour through the desert was spent in Fallujah, Iraq and cause quite a bit of drinking when I returned stateside. That year shaped me into someone I didn't ever picture or want to be. My second trip lead me to Baghdad and this mission drew on the skills I had honed during my first deployment. I was a leader of troops and used everything I had to complete my mission and bring my folks home. I hoped and prayed none of them would suffer the fate of some of those I had been with, fought with, and ultimately carried off the field during my first trip. My third came after less time at home than I had spent on the field. I finally started to feel the years slipping by. At this time- almost 27 years old and starting to wonder where this 'youth' went... I sat in an tactical office for a better portion of the year... trying to figure out how I could effect the battlefield in a positive manner. Studying, reading and teaching became my goals. Limited on my ability to physically attack the enemy I was forced to develop new techniques to make myself feel useful.
I have been home a week. Over 43 months spent in the limbo of organized chaos during the last 6 years. Less than 24 hours after my arrival a man of the service attacked other Soldiers at Ft. Hood. As the news spread of the victims I saw the names of the enlisted members. Half of the victims were in their first few years of time in the military. I saw these Soldiers as my own. I pictured myself, an idealist young man... joining the Army looking to make a difference back in 2000. I pictured myself in their shoes. It broke my heart. But alas, this is part of life unfortunately. We all deal with things we shouldn't have to. It has been this way since history began.
As I rode my bike off of Ft Hood today I passed by a McDonald's. In the grass on the corner of the street were protesters. They carried signs that read "God Loves Dead Soldiers" & "God Pulled The Trigger"... I have never been more angry or more ready to knock in teeth during my years. The protesters were surrounded by police; for protection I assume. All the thoughts and possibilities of retaliation raged through my mind as I tried to find a calm release.
Tonight I am ready to lay in bed, but I cannot. My anger is raging and my heart is pounding. On this Veterans Day eve the idealist in my does not come out. To me, tomorrow is just another day. What does come out is the feeling of gratitude to those who are still around that experienced this type of hatred during previous wars. I could never imagine fully or understand completely what our Vietnam Vets went through upon return home. No doubt we have seen the same troubles and fought to come to terms with what we have done. I have been blessed to come home and be greeted by citizens with open arms. To those of you who were not greeted with open arms (either members here or have friends and family of which this applies) I thank you for what you went through. I recognize, now more than ever, your struggles and your heartache. Idealism doesn't create an answer for our pains but the feeling of acceptance and understanding from strangers sure does help.
For those that were standing on that street corner today. I will not say that something about the freedom of speech kept you safe from me. I am not that righteous (it was the fear of prison.. HAH). I will say that Charles Darwin had a good theory... you should read it. While it might not say it verbatim- there might be something about protesting outside a military post against a bunch of ticked off and war hardened Soldiers.
So with that, Ill say goodnight. I am glad to have a place to vent a little and maybe this will help me sleep. My thoughts are not relaxed yet.... but maybe in time... it has been years... what's another night... just glad to have some people to type to (that have nothing better to do than read my ungrammatical dribble). Goodnight.
Those of you who have served know how hard it is to be thanked or praised for your service. We know how hard it is to feel special or different than other people. Most of us feel like this is just our path in life. Like those who are police officers, computer programmers, car salesmen, coal miners, etc. We feel that this is where we belond based on some ability to deal with situations that others might find impossible. I consistently remind myself that if the United States were attacked on our own soil it would not be the military that would save our nation but the brave citizens that would take up arms against an enemy. Therefore I find it incredibly difficult to take thanks, special treatment or any activity that sets me apart specifically. This thread is not in anyway designed for attention or recognition. I know what my buddies and I have accomplished. I know what we have seen and that is because we are meant to have seen it. All generations since the beginning of time have seen tough times. I am glad that I am fit and healthy enough to meet the challenges but also believe that it is a higher power (if you will) that has given me these qualities and not I that should be credited.
Today I faced what many of my predecessors have faced. Anti-Soldier protests. I saw these protests while in Kuwait in 2003 on the eve on invasion. I sat in a chow hall tent watching the news which showed US citizens burning flags and shouting anti-war protests. It hurt deep within my soul to see this. However, I washed the feelings and thoughts away with minimal trouble.
My first tour through the desert was spent in Fallujah, Iraq and cause quite a bit of drinking when I returned stateside. That year shaped me into someone I didn't ever picture or want to be. My second trip lead me to Baghdad and this mission drew on the skills I had honed during my first deployment. I was a leader of troops and used everything I had to complete my mission and bring my folks home. I hoped and prayed none of them would suffer the fate of some of those I had been with, fought with, and ultimately carried off the field during my first trip. My third came after less time at home than I had spent on the field. I finally started to feel the years slipping by. At this time- almost 27 years old and starting to wonder where this 'youth' went... I sat in an tactical office for a better portion of the year... trying to figure out how I could effect the battlefield in a positive manner. Studying, reading and teaching became my goals. Limited on my ability to physically attack the enemy I was forced to develop new techniques to make myself feel useful.
I have been home a week. Over 43 months spent in the limbo of organized chaos during the last 6 years. Less than 24 hours after my arrival a man of the service attacked other Soldiers at Ft. Hood. As the news spread of the victims I saw the names of the enlisted members. Half of the victims were in their first few years of time in the military. I saw these Soldiers as my own. I pictured myself, an idealist young man... joining the Army looking to make a difference back in 2000. I pictured myself in their shoes. It broke my heart. But alas, this is part of life unfortunately. We all deal with things we shouldn't have to. It has been this way since history began.
As I rode my bike off of Ft Hood today I passed by a McDonald's. In the grass on the corner of the street were protesters. They carried signs that read "God Loves Dead Soldiers" & "God Pulled The Trigger"... I have never been more angry or more ready to knock in teeth during my years. The protesters were surrounded by police; for protection I assume. All the thoughts and possibilities of retaliation raged through my mind as I tried to find a calm release.
Tonight I am ready to lay in bed, but I cannot. My anger is raging and my heart is pounding. On this Veterans Day eve the idealist in my does not come out. To me, tomorrow is just another day. What does come out is the feeling of gratitude to those who are still around that experienced this type of hatred during previous wars. I could never imagine fully or understand completely what our Vietnam Vets went through upon return home. No doubt we have seen the same troubles and fought to come to terms with what we have done. I have been blessed to come home and be greeted by citizens with open arms. To those of you who were not greeted with open arms (either members here or have friends and family of which this applies) I thank you for what you went through. I recognize, now more than ever, your struggles and your heartache. Idealism doesn't create an answer for our pains but the feeling of acceptance and understanding from strangers sure does help.
For those that were standing on that street corner today. I will not say that something about the freedom of speech kept you safe from me. I am not that righteous (it was the fear of prison.. HAH). I will say that Charles Darwin had a good theory... you should read it. While it might not say it verbatim- there might be something about protesting outside a military post against a bunch of ticked off and war hardened Soldiers.
So with that, Ill say goodnight. I am glad to have a place to vent a little and maybe this will help me sleep. My thoughts are not relaxed yet.... but maybe in time... it has been years... what's another night... just glad to have some people to type to (that have nothing better to do than read my ungrammatical dribble). Goodnight.
and know most are grateful for your sacrifices for our Country and do not let the minority idiots get you down.
