First Annual Bergen County NJ Bike Fest

[OB_ZX-12]

Motorcyclists: Come one come all!!!!!!!!!

This is an invitation to the first annual Bergen County NJ Bike Fest to be held Oct 9-10. This event will be hosted by Falconcop at his private residence and proceeds will be used to pay for his psychiatric evaluation and treatment program. This will be a weekend event so please feel free to bring a tent and pitch it on his front lawn. Events include but not limited too.

-Drunken drag racing (need to blow two points over NJ legal limit to compete).
-Free speedo testing and top speed verification by Bergen County's Finest with their new radar guns (note no insurance raising coupons will be handed out at this or any other event).
-Loudest bike contest (decibel testing will be held in Falconcop's garage).
-Shopping cart drag (Evening event tie a shopping cart to your bike while driving around the Falcon's neighborhood and watch the sparks fly)!!!
-Huge 3 story bonfire!! Bring your junk to Falconcop's back yard we are going for a world record (don't worry we thought of that the promoters bought a new garden hose just in case).

This will be a weekend you will never forget! Former convicts on parole are eligible for the two day discount!!! R.S.V.P. today for details!!!

 

[OB_Dirty Pete]

I'm in.

Sorry, did I get any snot on ya?

 

[OB_ZX-12]

Don't worry about the snot Pete. We need some one to time the fastest oil change contest are you game? Don't worry about dumping buckets or spilliage we are just going do dump it on the lawn. We figure the bon fire is going to be so big it will burn most of the oil off the mud pit that used to be his lawn.

[This message has been edited by ZX-12 (edited 24 September 1999).]

 

[OB_FalconCOP161]

ZX,,you must have alot of time on your hands to type all that up

But you did forget the Lipstick Lesbian Muff Diving Contest.

161 ®

 

[OB_ZX-12]

Geez this was going to be a family thing falcon but it is your house.

 

[OB_Dirty Pete]

Oct. 9-10.

So we've got some planning time here.

In the host's honor, we could invite some people that FC would relate to: Pee Wee Herman, Charles Manson, Mohummar Khaddafi, Jim Jones.

We could sneak into his precinct locker and smear hash oil all over his uniform the day before the event.

We could arrange for Todd to dangle FC nude and upside down from the balcony by a piano wire and give all the participants squirt guns full of battery acid.

We could progressively dose FC with truth serum for two weeks leading up to the party.

We could lace the donuts with protein...how long would he last?

I've got a feeling we've got a lot more planning to do here if we're going to have a good time.

 

[OB_Turbo]

Hey, Don't forget to invite the Hell's Angels and Pagans to be the roasters at the 1st annual "Barney Fife Award Recipent Roast". FalconCop of course taking the honors here.


[This message has been edited by Turbo (edited 24 September 1999).]

 

[OB_jim p]

Hey how about the Pig slopping contest,aren't you going to have one of those !!!

 

[OB_Dirty Pete]

Who needs colors when you got sugarbritches like us?

A pig roast?

Mandatory.

 

[OB_Dirty Pete]

I'm sorry, I should have capitalized the word Pig.

 

[OB_BarneyFife]

HEY NOW, YOU FELLA'S DON'T TALK ABOUT MY SON LIKE THIS!!

I WON'T HAVE IT!!!