(thrasherfox @ May 14 2007,21:30) Man suck it up!!!
ok, just kidding.. sort of
Bro you are not alone..
Kids will be difficult, I have three boys and all three have differant personalities, each one requires their own way to communicate, their dicsiplinary meassures and each have their own buttons that get pushed
I have a 36 inch LCD monitor, 6 months old. one of my sons got mad at his GF on the phone, threw something and broke the screen. $1000.00 TV, gone. period, end of subject.
I had planned on hanging it on the wall and arranging the den to accommodate the TV. plans shot to he11
I had a 20 gallon aquarium that I had a snowflake eel in. the first one I have ever been able to keep alive, one of my sons kicked a ball in the house and shattered the tank.
Fortunately there was enough water left the eel didn't die.
The one son that has been the most challenge is getting it (finally) he is starting to do what he is supposed to do and I have been very proud of how he has been acting lately and for awhile.
So the best thing I can tell you is been there, done that and doing that.. you just need to stick to your guns. be consitsant in everything, encourage them all you can, show them all the love you can, but dont spare them when they need to be punished for something.
And remember, in a houseful of kids, you will find not a single form pf punishment will work on all of them.
Spankings and the fear of a spanking was enough for one of my sons.
Spankings never really bother my other son and I had to find something different to get his attention.
The son that is picking the fight every night? sounds like one of two things, either 1, he feels that is the only way to get attention from you. not to dog on you but make sure you are giving him enoug positive attention, do things with just him, watch a movie with just him, take just him out to get a milk shake, basically have some just you and him time, create a bond of friendship.
If all a kid ever gets from someone is being harped on then they wont want to open up and they wont know how to.
If they learn how to communicate with you without arguing (which one on one time will accomplish) the arguments should decrease and respect should grown on both sides.
If there is plenty of one on one time and that isn't the issue, he might have anger management issues, in which case don't rule out getting (and read these next words carefully) a "RECOMMENDED AND QUALIFIED" child psychologist.
We went that route and found a really good one, a nice guy and he not only was able to help my son, but we had some family sessions and he was able to help me, and help my wife understand how to cope better and helped us all understand each others positions a litter better.
Bottom line is there are really no rule books written to help the closest thing in my opinion is the bible (not preaching here, just stating my position) aside form that there are a lot of people out there that THINK they know how to raise kids, and alot of them dont HAVE any kids, those people have not fricken clue.
Each child is differant, each parent is differant, you need to seek advice and counsel from every source you can, then determine which mixture of whos advice and counsel will work best for you and the specific child you are having problems with.
Then guess what? when you start having problems with another child, because that is a totally different human being, you need to create a brand new formula
But to summarize, lots of love, lots of patience and lots of constancy.
Oh yeah, and for you LCD screen, while I was going through my rage stage trying to figure out of there was anyting I could do with mine, a repair man told me to get a piece of plexi glass and cut it to the size of the TV screen and attach it with velro strips. he told me alot of people who have kids do that. wont help you broke screens, but should prevent future broke screens
And yes, you will go through stages where you are going to feel like you cant make everyone happy. guess what? you never will. but it is a stage. just hang in there, do your best, do what you think is right and ride out the storm.
Oh, and don't forget one last thing, Xanax
http://www.drugs.com/xanax.html
Life is stressful, I take Xanax once in awhile and it helps me to deal with things in a calm manner. when dealing with teenagers often if they are mad and you are able to keep calm, it will often calm them down. but if they are mad and you respond back to them with anger, it feeds their emotions and makes things worse..
Hope some of this helps.. but yeah, you are not alone, hang in there, parenting is a tough job but someone has to do it
