What Hallmark cards don't say

MC MUSTANG

Peace Keeper or Ban Hammer-it's up to you; IDMBT#9
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My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.

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Looking back over the years
that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

"What the hell was I thinking?"

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Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your wife.

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How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?

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I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,

someone to love.

After having met you ..

I've changed my mind.

-------------------------------------- ---------------------------------

Imust admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.

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As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.

####################################

Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.

********************************************************************************

Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only inTennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy birthday! You look great for your age.
Almost Lifelike!

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When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

We have been friends for a very long time .
let's say we stop?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I'm so miserable without you
it's almost like you're here.

=====================================================

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Your friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
))))))

So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,

it's really good pay.
 
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