Hallmark cards


Donating Member
What cards don't say.......


M y tire was thumping.

I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire..

I noticed your cat



H eard your wife left you,

How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.


L ooking back over the years

that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

"What the hell was I thinking?"


C ongratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband


H ow could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?


I 've always wanted to have

someone to hold,

someone to love.

After having met you .

I've changed my mind.


I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.


A s the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

That you're not here to ruin it for me.


C ongratulations on your promotion.

Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.


H appy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in <st1:State w:st="on">Tennessee</st1:State> , <st1:State w:st="on">Kentucky</st1:State>, The Carolinas , & <st1:State w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">West Virginia</st1:place></st1:State> )


H appy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!


W hen we were together,

You always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise


W e have been friends for a very long time..

Let's say we stop?


I 'm so miserable without you

it's almost like you're here.


C ongratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?


Y our friends and I wanted to do
Something special for your birthday

So we're having you put to sleep.


S o your daughter's a hooker,

And it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,

It's really good pay.

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