UPS pilot funnnies

[F=MA]

uhh i dont get it...and whats a DME is that like a TRE for airplanes...lol

DME stands for Distance Measuring Equipment. It gives slant range distance to a VOR/DME or VORTAC radio station.

What's VOR you ask? It stands for Very High Frequency Omni Range, which is a radio station that electronically "spins" a signal, along with a reference signal to allow an aircraft with a VOR receiver to determine its position relative to the station. The VORTAC is similar, though the TACAN portion was used by the military. This was a 1930's development (if I recall correctly) still used today...despite the later invention of LORAN.

What's LORAN you ask? LORAN is the acronym for Long Range Aera Navigation. In many ways LORAN can be considered a ground based GPS system. It simplified navigation quite a lot, but never really produced the level of accuracy necessary for non precision approaches to airports. GPS is becoming standard, slowly replacing INS and IRS for navigation.

What's INS and IRS? Inertial Navigation System and Inertial Reference System...systems in which pilots enter a known lat/long coordinate. The aircraft has mechanical gyros or laser gyros that sense every movement of the aircraft and provide position information by compiling all those movements and referencing them to the original known position.

We love our acronyms in the aviation industry. Here are a few more:

ACARS
ILS
NDB
WAAS
SID
STAR
TERPS
NOTAM
PIREP
DG
HSI
CANPA
DH
MDA
NORDO
LOC
GS
VASI
PAPI
MALSF
ALSF
HIRL
REIL
ALS
RCLS
TDZL
IFR
VFR
IMC
VMC
CAVU
HAT
ALD
LLWAS
ATIS
ASOS
AWOS
MU
LAHSO
FSS
FSDO
CHDO
ARTCC
DP
EFC
MEA
MOA
MVA
OROCA

Here's a typical paragraph from the Aeronautical Information Manual:

"A pilot departing VFR, either intending to or needing to obtain an IFR clearance en route, must be aware of the position of the aircraft and the relative terrain/obstructions. When accepting a clearance below the MEA/MIA/MVA/OROCA, pilots are responsible for their own terrain/obstruction clearance until reaching the MEA/MIA/MVA/OROCA. If pilots are unable to maintain terrain/obstruction clearance, the controller should be advised and pilots should state their intentions."

 

[Busa1166]

So whats the acronym for the now hammer less midget ???

 

[F=MA]

So whats the acronym for the now hammer less midget ???

I don't know, but if I found an unauthorized midget on my flight deck I'd contact a GSC via ACARS or COM2 while taking the appropriate action to deal with the situation.

 

[CaBusaGirl]

That was awesome stuff!!

 

[slatroni]

 

[TonyMastodon]

"By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident. "

No, but they do make mistakes (A LOT)... When i worked at SeaTac airport. We had a UPS freighter land on the taxiway instead of the runway. (Fedex did it once also)

 

[Fastfrog007]

"A pilot departing VFR, either intending to or needing to obtain an IFR clearance en route, must be aware of the position of the aircraft and the relative terrain/obstructions. When accepting a clearance below the MEA/MIA/MVA/OROCA, pilots are responsible for their own terrain/obstruction clearance until reaching the MEA/MIA/MVA/OROCA. If pilots are unable to maintain terrain/obstruction clearance, the controller should be advised and pilots should state their intentions."



Are they trying to say " dont crash into the mountain"?

 

[F=MA]

"A pilot departing VFR, either intending to or needing to obtain an IFR clearance en route, must be aware of the position of the aircraft and the relative terrain/obstructions. When accepting a clearance below the MEA/MIA/MVA/OROCA, pilots are responsible for their own terrain/obstruction clearance until reaching the MEA/MIA/MVA/OROCA. If pilots are unable to maintain terrain/obstruction clearance, the controller should be advised and pilots should state their intentions."



Are they trying to say " dont crash into the mountain"?

Pretty close. I read it as "If you're not 100% familiar with the local terrain, spend a couple extra minutes getting your IFR clearance before you depart...and don't let the controller give you a clearance to the nearest mortuary."

 

[F=MA]

"By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident. "

No, but they do make mistakes (A LOT)... When i worked at SeaTac airport. We had a UPS freighter land on the taxiway instead of the runway. (Fedex did it once also)

I think "never, ever, had an accident" might be stretching it just a little. They were exceptionally fortunate their crew was able to get a burning DC-8 onto a piece of pavement in PHL before they were unable to due to smoke on the flight deck.

Had that flight reached the airport three to five minutes later...

The NTSB ultimately classified this event as an accident.

 

[BusaWizard]

 

[walker]

Holy Cow, those are hillarious

 

[Ranger]

"A pilot departing VFR, either intending to or needing to obtain an IFR clearance en route, must be aware of the position of the aircraft and the relative terrain/obstructions. When accepting a clearance below the MEA/MIA/MVA/OROCA, pilots are responsible for their own terrain/obstruction clearance until reaching the MEA/MIA/MVA/OROCA. If pilots are unable to maintain terrain/obstruction clearance, the controller should be advised and pilots should state their intentions."

The moral here is to not depart VFR to save time and then try and squeek into the sequence by requesting an IFR clearance. Kinda like the cagers that stay in the right lane of a merge left road until the last possible second to get ahead of everyone else instead of waiting like us all, of course its ok for bikes to do it...

 

[boazalmighty]

very old and very funny

 

[F=MA]

The moral here is to not depart VFR to save time and then try and squeek into the sequence by requesting an IFR clearance. Kinda like the cagers that stay in the right lane of a merge left road until the last possible second to get ahead of everyone else instead of waiting like us all, of course its ok for bikes to do it...

It's also okay for freight dogs working in godforsaken parts of the U.S. where there is no radar or ATC radio coverage on the surface.

Woe is me if I call FSS on the ground for an IFR clearance on a bright sunny day for a flight from GLR to PLN....or worse yet have to use the dial up RCO at CAD to get a clearance to TVC.



It's also NOT okay for the a..hole two or three airplanes behind you on a taxiway at an untowered airport to call FSS for an IFR clearance without stating they are number three for departure, and it's obvious everyone needs a clearance.