Some Humor...

[shenoyp]

A man and a woman are driving down the same road at the same time.
As they pass each other the woman leans out the window, points and yells, “PIG! â€￾

The man immediately leans out his window, shakes his fist and shouts back, “WITCH!"

They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he slams into a pig that had wandered into the middle of the road.

If only men would listen.

******

A drunk is driving through the city and his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over and asks, “Where have you been?â€￾
“I've been to the pub,â€￾ slurs the drunk.

“Well,â€￾ says the cop, “it looks like you've had quite a few.â€￾

“I did alright,â€￾ the drunk says with a smile.

“Did you know,â€￾ says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms, “that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?â€￾

“Oh, thank heavens,â€￾ sighs the drunk. “For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf.â€￾

 

[shenoyp]

A sailor and a pirate walk into a bar. They sit down next to each other, get to talking and their chat soon turns to their sea adventures. The sailor tells of his days fighting wars with the Navy, and the pirate tells of robbing ships and killing his enemies with the other pirates.
The sailor notices that the pirate has an eyepatch, a hook and a peg leg and asks, “How did you get the peg leg?â€
The pirate replies, “When I was thrown off my ship and flated for two days until my crew rescued me, my leg was bitten off by a shark as I was being pulled out of the water.â€

The sailor, impressed, says, “Wow. That's very exciting. But how about the hook?â€
The pirate smiles, shining the hook a bit, “When I was swordfighting with a pirate from our enemy ship for treasure, he took it right off.''
The sailor's eyes were wide with awe at how badas this pirate was, and he asked,
How did you get the eyepatch?†“Well,â€says the pirate, shifting in his seat a bit, “a seagull $hit in my eye.â€
The seaman looks puzzled: “You lost an eye from gull $hit?â€
The pirate sighed and shook his head. “It was my first day with the hook.â€



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[shenoyp]

A rather confident young man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive young woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"

"No," he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was testing it."

Intrigued, the woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"

"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains.

"What's it telling you now?"

"Well, it says that you're not wearing any panties..."

The woman giggles & replies, "Well it must be broken then, because I am wearing panties!"

The man exclaims, "Damn - this thing must be an hour fast!"

 

[shenoyp]

Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette. It started to rain, so the old lady reached into her purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette and continued to smoke.

Her friend saw this and said, "Hey that's a good idea! But, what is that thing you put over your cigarette?"

The other old lady said, "It's a condom."

"A condom? Where do you get those?"

The lady with the cigarette told her friend that you could purchase condoms at the pharmacy. When the two old ladies arrived downtown, the old lady with all the
questions went into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist if he sold condoms. The pharmacist said yes, but looked a little surprised that this old woman was interested in condoms, so he asked her, "What size do you want?"

The old lady thought for a minute and said, "One that will fit a Camel."

 

[Creekboy]

Some good one's there bro....lol

 

[Pipefighter248]

 

[adrenaline junkey]

 

[bigdr]

You should be on a stage,the next one leaves in ten minutes.... be on it .

 

[MrGxr]

Thank you, those were great. LMAO

 

[justintime2]

 

[BA BUSA]

 

[Jace]

good ones !

 

[busa_boy_69]

That one with the watch is freaking HILARIOUS!

 

[mjn]

 

[Charlesbusa]

 

[BusaAdmirer]

 

[BusaAdmirer]

A man and a woman are driving down the same road at the same time.
As they pass each other the woman leans out the window, points and yells, “PIG! â€

The man immediately leans out his window, shakes his fist and shouts back, “WITCH!"

They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he slams into a pig that had wandered into the middle of the road.

If only men would listen.

******

A drunk is driving through the city and his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over and asks, “Where have you been?â€
“I've been to the pub,†slurs the drunk.

“Well,†says the cop, “it looks like you've had quite a few.â€

“I did alright,†the drunk says with a smile.

“Did you know,†says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms, “that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?â€

“Oh, thank heavens,†sighs the drunk. “For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf.â€

 

[BusaAdmirer]

A sailor and a pirate walk into a bar. They sit down next to each other, get to talking and their chat soon turns to their sea adventures. The sailor tells of his days fighting wars with the Navy, and the pirate tells of robbing ships and killing his enemies with the other pirates.
The sailor notices that the pirate has an eyepatch, a hook and a peg leg and asks, “How did you get the peg leg?â€
The pirate replies, “When I was thrown off my ship and flated for two days until my crew rescued me, my leg was bitten off by a shark as I was being pulled out of the water.â€

The sailor, impressed, says, “Wow. That's very exciting. But how about the hook?â€
The pirate smiles, shining the hook a bit, “When I was swordfighting with a pirate from our enemy ship for treasure, he took it right off.''
The sailor's eyes were wide with awe at how badas this pirate was, and he asked,
How did you get the eyepatch?†“Well,â€says the pirate, shifting in his seat a bit, “a seagull $hit in my eye.â€
The seaman looks puzzled: “You lost an eye from gull $hit?â€
The pirate sighed and shook his head. “It was my first day with the hook.â€

 

[BusaAdmirer]

A rather confident young man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive young woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"

"No," he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was testing it."

Intrigued, the woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"

"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains.

"What's it telling you now?"

"Well, it says that you're not wearing any panties..."

The woman giggles & replies, "Well it must be broken then, because I am wearing panties!"

The man exclaims, "Damn - this thing must be an hour fast!"

 

[BusaAdmirer]

Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette. It started to rain, so the old lady reached into her purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette and continued to smoke.

Her friend saw this and said, "Hey that's a good idea! But, what is that thing you put over your cigarette?"

The other old lady said, "It's a condom."

"A condom? Where do you get those?"

The lady with the cigarette told her friend that you could purchase condoms at the pharmacy. When the two old ladies arrived downtown, the old lady with all the
questions went into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist if he sold condoms. The pharmacist said yes, but looked a little surprised that this old woman was interested in condoms, so he asked her, "What size do you want?"

The old lady thought for a minute and said, "One that will fit a Camel."