It's been awhile since I put some humor on here, so here it is.
The Purina Diet
I was in Walmart buying a Large bag of Purina for my Labrador
Retriever and
was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog?
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital
last time -- but
that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward
with tubes
coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it
works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or
two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally
complete so I
was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by
now
enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned and was that why I was in
the
hospital.
I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt and a
car hit
me.
I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.
The Purina Diet
I was in Walmart buying a Large bag of Purina for my Labrador
Retriever and
was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog?
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital
last time -- but
that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward
with tubes
coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it
works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or
two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally
complete so I
was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by
now
enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned and was that why I was in
the
hospital.
I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt and a
car hit
me.
I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.
