Post up Stupid Criminal Stories

[Fate]

I Saw A great local stupid criminal story and thought it would be cool to have people post up stories they have seen on the internet or in real life. Here is the one I saw recently:

Man sells stolen items at a yard sale near home that he robbed
Man sells stolen items near home that was robbed

Story Created: Jul 2, 2008 at 9:37 AM EDT

Story Updated: Jul 2, 2008 at 9:37 AM EDT
OCALA, Fla. (AP) - Police say an Ocala man was selling stolen property at a yard sale in the same neighborhood as the home he robbed.

Fred and Betty McAteers, who live in Ocklawaha, arrived at a home they own in Ocala on Monday to find that it had been burglarized. They returned Tuesday and walked around the neighborhood to see if anyone knew anything about the theft. During their walk, they saw their dresser sitting on the front lawn of an apartment building.

They called the police, who charged 22-year-old Branden Mitchell Gardiner with residential burglary and dealing in stolen property. He was being held on a $4,000 bond.

One more:

Man robbed buying crack calls cops who arrest him

Story Created: Jul 9, 2008 at 9:09 AM EDT

Story Updated: Jul 9, 2008 at 9:09 AM EDT
HARTFORD, Conn. (AP) - An East Hartford man called police to report he had been robbed while trying to buy crack cocaine.

Max Minnefield called police Monday to tell them he had paid a man and a woman $8 for drugs he never received.

Police charged him with criminal attempt to commit possession of narcotics.

During his arraignment Tuesday, Judge Bradford Ward asked Minnefield, "Did you really think the police were going to go after the people?" He added that his question was rhetorical.

 

[300Busa]

How about the guy that tried to drag an ATM away with his truck and left his bumper with his plates at the scene.

 

[Fate]

Another one:

Colorado Springs: A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but he refused and said "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point the robber took his drivers license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later

 

[GSXTacy]

OK, we have a small (about 5 foot tall max) female correctional officer that came to work at the prison strait out of the Navy, and yes, she cusses like a sailor.

I walked into an exchange between her and a young black inmate that walked by her with his pants saggin well below his azz.

Officer: "Pull your pants up Moron. Why would a scrawney guy like you walk around prison with his azz hanging out?"

Inmate: "Moron? I dont speak spanish" (and he was serious as could be)

Officer" (without missing a beat)"Allright you F-ing retard, pull your pants up!" and she walked away with the inmate still standing there confused.

I guess you just had to be there because it sure doesnt look as funny while I'm writing it, but I cried for about an hour from laughing so hard after it happend!

 

[GSXTacy]

This is the best one ever!

 

[99'busa]

Another one:

Colorado Springs: A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but he refused and said "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point the robber took his drivers license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later

 

[Lurch]

OK, we have a small (about 5 foot tall max) female correctional officer that came to work at the prison strait out of the Navy, and yes, she cusses like a sailor.

I walked into an exchange between her and a young black inmate that walked by her with his pants saggin well below his azz.

Officer: "Pull your pants up Moron. Why would a scrawney guy like you walk around prison with his azz hanging out?"

Inmate: "Moron? I dont speak spanish" (and he was serious as could be)

Officer" (without missing a beat)"Allright you F-ing retard, pull your pants up!" and she walked away with the inmate still standing there confused.

I guess you just had to be there because it sure doesnt look as funny while I'm writing it, but I cried for about an hour from laughing so hard after it happend!

Can't stop laughing at that one. That had to be priceless in person.
"I don't speak spanish"

?

?

 

[99'busa]

This is the best one ever!

I love videos

That is fricken funny right there. he was stuck

 

[CTA_Busa_LE]

OK, here's a good one, I wasn't involved directly but was working at the time and heard all the radio traffic on it and talked to the arresting officer as he brought the guy to jail.

I live in a town of just under 20,000. Officer makes a traffic stop on the west side of town. Guy driving the car has a warrant for his arrest and knows it, needless to say he gives the officer his brother's name and date of birth. While that officer is dealing with this guy another officer makes a stop on the east side of town, roughly 3 miles away, you guessed it, it's the brother and he has his drivers license to prove it.

Yep free trip to jail with added charges of obstructing the po po.

 

[DaCol.]