New bank procedure





vman1300

Never Forgotten
#1
New bank procedure


A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is
installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to
withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new
facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when
accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE &
FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate
steps for your gender." MALE PROCEDURE:


1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and
withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

**********************************************

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required
amount to align car window with the
machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window
down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on
to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call
them back and hang up
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to
its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN
written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Take a quick peeky at yourself in rear
view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet
and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register
and place receipt in back of
checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card
holder, and place card into the slot
provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver
waiting behind you
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
 
#4
Like a moron I let my girlfriend borrow my new dodge ram for the day to move some junk.

well she made a trip to the bank and tore my mirror off


get this she pulls in and hears the mirror scratch the pole so she backs up and tears it compleatly off

$300 replacment!
 

BiG-T

Donating Member
Registered
#5
(magus @ Sep. 19 2006,10:32) Like a moron I let my girlfriend borrow my new dodge ram for the day to move some junk.

well she made a trip to the bank and tore my mirror off


get this   she pulls in and hears the mirror scratch the pole so she backs up and tears it compleatly off

$300 replacment!
Wow!

That reminds me of the movie w/ Chris Farley and David Spade...

...they're at a gas station and Chris is backing up the car w/ the driverside door open....wham....he bends it back as if nothing happens and gets into the passenger seat. David attempts to get into the car and the door falls off of the hinges...."What did you do!?"
laugh.gif
 

vman1300

Never Forgotten
#6
(magus @ Sep. 19 2006,10:32) Like a moron I let my girlfriend borrow my new dodge ram for the day to move some junk.

well she made a trip to the bank and tore my mirror off


get this   she pulls in and hears the mirror scratch the pole so she backs up and tears it compleatly off

$300 replacment!
WOW!!!!!

I can feel your pain......
 
#7
(BiG-T @ Sep. 19 2006,09:37)
(magus @ Sep. 19 2006,10
zzwhip.gif
) Like a moron I let my girlfriend borrow my new dodge ram for the day to move some junk.

well she made a trip to the bank and tore my mirror off


get this   she pulls in and hears the mirror scratch the pole so she backs up and tears it compleatly off

$300 replacment!
Wow!

That reminds me of the movie w/ Chris Farley and David Spade...

...they're at a gas station and Chris is backing up the car w/ the driverside door open....wham....he bends it back as if nothing happens and gets into the passenger seat.  David attempts to get into the car and the door falls off of the hinges...."What did you do!?"  
laugh.gif
I love that scene. Classic.
 

VaBusa

oRg Gal
Staff member
Administrator
Registered
#8
So, apparently vman doesn't know a few facts about VA, though with all of the posts he does about me, one might think he lives in my home
SHOCKED.gif


1. VA drives like a mofo and never has to do the 'back up, turn, turn, forward, damn that's not close enough, back up, rinse repeat' move...

2. VA hates cell phones...ask anyone that's tried to call me
all_coholic.gif


3. VA has a purse, but if I'm hitting the local ATM, the old wallet is all I take out and *viola* the bank card is right there...

4. Oh, yeah, and VA doesn't need to go to the ATM since the hubby gives her cash for various reasons...

Any other questions?!
tounge.gif
 

vman1300

Never Forgotten
#11
(VaBusa @ Sep. 19 2006,14:30)
tounge.gif
 I still love ya man...like the brother I never wanted...  
all_coholic.gif
Yeah, yeah...like a pain in your arse you would miss if I wasnt there....I know the drill......

*leaving going to sulk in the Corner*
 

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