As a Rider Coach I leave my self open to all my former students. I recive tons of e-mails and phone calls asking about motorcycle related information. I am always more than happy to give a prompt reply. Some e-mails are so repiticious that I never think twice about cutting and pasting from a former email just to rectify the problem. But this one e-mail touched me. It is a former student that emailed me for insight, so I did my best to help her. Ill just post her e-mail and my reply. Im sure we have all been there at least once. Keep in mind she is a new rider. The name of the student has been changed to protect the idenity of the innocent. Read this an let it affect your life how ever you need.
The student wrote:
"Hey. How is it going? Hope all is well. When is your big TV debut? I wanted to stop by the range so badly this weekend to talk to either you or Dale. But, I didn't't want to interrupt your during class. I am hoping you can help me with a little problem. We went for a ride the other night and had a few friends with us. Four, including myself, were inexperienced in our pack. 2 of the 4, were not so great at riding, (not that I am) and had been drinking. I visualized a wipeout. Actually, everyone except for me had been drinking. So I was a little apprehensive about 4 of us not being very skilled, on top of the loaded traffic and drinking. I just didn't feel comfortable with all of us. Risk factor. From when we started out, until we got to our destination, I totally obsessed and nauseated myself with thoughts of "what if" I crash. I will spare the gory details of my thoughts. Anyway, I did not enjoy the ride whatsoever and I literally made myself sick to my stomach. I was even talking to John (John is her husband) about selling the bike! I don't know. I am not worried about dying; it is more about leaving my daughter here without me. Dave, it was horrible. I don't know if this is a sign to get off the bike or whether these feelings are normal and will subside with more experience or what my deal is. Maybe I just need a higher dose of medication. On a good note, later that night around 1:30 am, we left the other riders at the Hard Rock. There were only 2 other riders with me, both experienced and the roadways were ideal. I was completely fine and enjoyed myself. I even wanted to ride yesterday and had second thoughts about selling it. I don't really want to sell it. Are these feelings normal? I mean should I not be on the roads with feelings such as these? I don't expect you to be my therapist, but maybe these feelings are normal and will help me justify my thoughts. I am sure my profession amplifies every horrible crash I see in my head. I don't want to sell my bike, but I do get very worried. You can bill me later. I wish I had more exciting news, but this is really concerning me. I don't want to be a hazard to people around me or myself, you know? I am sorry to lay this on you, but I assume that you hear from hundreds of people about their thoughts and maybe this is normal. Any light you can shed, would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. "
My reply:
"Yes, I do get a lot of e-mails and phone calls about people’s worries and concerns when it comes to motorcycle riding. I will tell that you first that they are normal. There are times when I am riding and something happens that triggers a fear response in me that, as you described, gets me sick to my stomach. Normally I ride home and shut the key off for the day and sometimes week. But after the feelings pass I'm itching to get back on. I tell most riders that the minuet you have no fear of riding you need not ride any more. If you just ask other motorcyclist out there if they have ever had the sh*t scared out of them where they questioned the ownership of there bike, they mostly likely will tell you yes. But riding is in you, if it’s your true desire then all the fear in the world would never hinder you from riding again. Sue, it’s normal. I'm sure your profession allows you to see the horrible side to some of these accidents, but think of it as a learning tool. Learn from what they did or did not due that put them in that kind of situation.
I think all the time about my family. It makes me a safer rider. My awareness level is always increased when I think about them. I really do believe I am safer because of them. I could never give up motorcycling though. Its in me like my heart pumps blood, I need to ride. You have to seriously ask your self if riding is worth it to you. If your safe and take every thing into consideration that our class has taught, I have no doubt that you can be a very safe rider.
Besides that, you were in a very awkward position where you did not feel comfortable. At any time, I don't care who you are with, you do not feel safe "Leave". Tell John that you are uncomfortable with the group and wish to split off. If he has your safety and peace of mind as priority #1 then he will accept your wishes. I refuse to ride with groups that drink then ride. My life is too valuable to be side swiped by drunken riders. Even worse, I have seen my fair share of accidents; I wish not to see one of my drunken friends die due to stupidity. Sue, you were put into a shitty situation that you felt uneasy in. It is natural to think the worst. You made it home, voiced your concerns to John, and then had a pleasant ride the following day. That tells you that the situation was your trigger, abstain from those kinds of people for a while and ride within your comfort zone. Sounds like you and John have a good riding relationship. Maybe you should just ride with him until your experience level and confidence level increase. Then later on if you are in that situation and no one wants to waver from the right way of doing things, you can just leave. You can make more of a statement by leaving on your friends then my bickering with them.
Just my .02. The bill is sent out and I expect prompt payment in the form of a conscious rider with the spirit to be free and safe.
Feel free to call me anytime you have a motorcycle problem, im always there for my fellow rider. I will never turn my ear from anyone that needs it, so never second guess a e-mail or phone call.
Keep the shiny side up and the rubber side down.
Dave (Coach)"
Thanks for listening guys. This goes for all the board, if any of you ever have a problem or concern please PM me or e-mail me. I dedicate part of my life to motorcycle safety, so its not a job to me, its a passion.
Thanks again guys, I promise next week we will talk about braking in a curve.
Keep the rubberside up and the shiny side down
Dave (Coach)
The student wrote:
"Hey. How is it going? Hope all is well. When is your big TV debut? I wanted to stop by the range so badly this weekend to talk to either you or Dale. But, I didn't't want to interrupt your during class. I am hoping you can help me with a little problem. We went for a ride the other night and had a few friends with us. Four, including myself, were inexperienced in our pack. 2 of the 4, were not so great at riding, (not that I am) and had been drinking. I visualized a wipeout. Actually, everyone except for me had been drinking. So I was a little apprehensive about 4 of us not being very skilled, on top of the loaded traffic and drinking. I just didn't feel comfortable with all of us. Risk factor. From when we started out, until we got to our destination, I totally obsessed and nauseated myself with thoughts of "what if" I crash. I will spare the gory details of my thoughts. Anyway, I did not enjoy the ride whatsoever and I literally made myself sick to my stomach. I was even talking to John (John is her husband) about selling the bike! I don't know. I am not worried about dying; it is more about leaving my daughter here without me. Dave, it was horrible. I don't know if this is a sign to get off the bike or whether these feelings are normal and will subside with more experience or what my deal is. Maybe I just need a higher dose of medication. On a good note, later that night around 1:30 am, we left the other riders at the Hard Rock. There were only 2 other riders with me, both experienced and the roadways were ideal. I was completely fine and enjoyed myself. I even wanted to ride yesterday and had second thoughts about selling it. I don't really want to sell it. Are these feelings normal? I mean should I not be on the roads with feelings such as these? I don't expect you to be my therapist, but maybe these feelings are normal and will help me justify my thoughts. I am sure my profession amplifies every horrible crash I see in my head. I don't want to sell my bike, but I do get very worried. You can bill me later. I wish I had more exciting news, but this is really concerning me. I don't want to be a hazard to people around me or myself, you know? I am sorry to lay this on you, but I assume that you hear from hundreds of people about their thoughts and maybe this is normal. Any light you can shed, would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. "
My reply:
"Yes, I do get a lot of e-mails and phone calls about people’s worries and concerns when it comes to motorcycle riding. I will tell that you first that they are normal. There are times when I am riding and something happens that triggers a fear response in me that, as you described, gets me sick to my stomach. Normally I ride home and shut the key off for the day and sometimes week. But after the feelings pass I'm itching to get back on. I tell most riders that the minuet you have no fear of riding you need not ride any more. If you just ask other motorcyclist out there if they have ever had the sh*t scared out of them where they questioned the ownership of there bike, they mostly likely will tell you yes. But riding is in you, if it’s your true desire then all the fear in the world would never hinder you from riding again. Sue, it’s normal. I'm sure your profession allows you to see the horrible side to some of these accidents, but think of it as a learning tool. Learn from what they did or did not due that put them in that kind of situation.
I think all the time about my family. It makes me a safer rider. My awareness level is always increased when I think about them. I really do believe I am safer because of them. I could never give up motorcycling though. Its in me like my heart pumps blood, I need to ride. You have to seriously ask your self if riding is worth it to you. If your safe and take every thing into consideration that our class has taught, I have no doubt that you can be a very safe rider.
Besides that, you were in a very awkward position where you did not feel comfortable. At any time, I don't care who you are with, you do not feel safe "Leave". Tell John that you are uncomfortable with the group and wish to split off. If he has your safety and peace of mind as priority #1 then he will accept your wishes. I refuse to ride with groups that drink then ride. My life is too valuable to be side swiped by drunken riders. Even worse, I have seen my fair share of accidents; I wish not to see one of my drunken friends die due to stupidity. Sue, you were put into a shitty situation that you felt uneasy in. It is natural to think the worst. You made it home, voiced your concerns to John, and then had a pleasant ride the following day. That tells you that the situation was your trigger, abstain from those kinds of people for a while and ride within your comfort zone. Sounds like you and John have a good riding relationship. Maybe you should just ride with him until your experience level and confidence level increase. Then later on if you are in that situation and no one wants to waver from the right way of doing things, you can just leave. You can make more of a statement by leaving on your friends then my bickering with them.
Just my .02. The bill is sent out and I expect prompt payment in the form of a conscious rider with the spirit to be free and safe.
Feel free to call me anytime you have a motorcycle problem, im always there for my fellow rider. I will never turn my ear from anyone that needs it, so never second guess a e-mail or phone call.
Keep the shiny side up and the rubber side down.
Dave (Coach)"
Thanks for listening guys. This goes for all the board, if any of you ever have a problem or concern please PM me or e-mail me. I dedicate part of my life to motorcycle safety, so its not a job to me, its a passion.
Thanks again guys, I promise next week we will talk about braking in a curve.
Keep the rubberside up and the shiny side down
Dave (Coach)
