lil charlie
Registered
** Adult Truths ***
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately
clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when
you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when
I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm
pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you
how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of
tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment
at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive
for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue
Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it
asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I
swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know
not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday
or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom
and hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you
just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they
said?
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars
team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong,
brothers and sisters!
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never
get dirty, and you can wear them forever..
22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and
still not know what time it is.
23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating
their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail
on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button
from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
24. People who forward e- mail without deleting the tons of
previous recipients should be shot and then tarred and feathered.
25. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and
the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men
to realize that their brain is also important. Ladies quit Laughing!
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately
clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when
you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when
I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm
pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you
how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of
tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment
at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive
for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue
Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it
asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I
swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know
not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday
or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom
and hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you
just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they
said?
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars
team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong,
brothers and sisters!
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never
get dirty, and you can wear them forever..
22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and
still not know what time it is.
23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating
their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail
on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button
from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
24. People who forward e- mail without deleting the tons of
previous recipients should be shot and then tarred and feathered.
25. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and
the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men
to realize that their brain is also important. Ladies quit Laughing!
