Blonde Jokes

[jellyrug]

How do you recognize a Blond at a funeral?

It's the one trying to catch the flowers as a bouquet.

Why does a Blond have empty bottles in her refrigerator?

Specially catering for those friends who do not drink.

Why does a Blond freeze while reading her recipe book?

The recipe says "don't stir".

Why does a Blond tie only one shoe lace?

The label says "Taiwan".

Why do you find crumbs in her bath tub?

Had to feed the ducks.

The Blond purchased two large packs of mothballs. The next day she is back for more. The store clerk says, "You must have a lot of moths??" The Blond replies, "No, I only hit one, keep missing the others, have to practice my throw.

Why can't you tell a Blond a "knock knock, who's there" joke?
Soon as you start, she runs to open the door.

How do you keep a Blond busy for hours?

Give her one page, with the words "turn the page" on both sides.

If you see two Blondes, one real and one fake ready to bungee jump, how do you recognize the real Blond?

The one with the rope around her neck.

 

[Blanca BusaLess]

BoB will be here soon to you

 

[Cerberus]

....I mean, er...umm.

 

[lil charlie]

You're going to be in trouble....nice ones. I have a bunch but they are all very dirty.

 

[busabeast]

BoB will be here soon to you

(psst! i was never here!... but... )

 

[semi]

however, BoB and VaBusa are going to make an example out of you when they find this, it's been good knowing you

 

[Fastfrog007]

None of those are funny, nope, not one.
Droid via Tapatalk

 

[Cerberus]

None of those are funny, nope, not one.
Droid via Tapatalk

:kissass:

 

[BlondeOnaBusa]

How can you tell an org member from an x org member?

You'll just have to wait and find out!

 

[Cerberus]

How can you tell an org member from an x org member?

You'll just have to wait and find out!

 

[badazgtp]

:tiptoe: I was never here either. Already got in trouble once and lost my dessert. Don't want it to happen again

 

[jellyrug]

How can you tell an org member from an x org member?

You'll just have to wait and find out!

Did I hit a nerve there somewhere?

To find out what women bra sizes mean when I wanted to buy wifey a present, I had to ask a Brunette. None of the Blondes could tell me. So here is the education:

A, B, C, D, DD, F, G, H are the letters used.

A = Almost there.

B = Barely there.

C = Can't complain.

D = Dang!!

DD = Double Dang!!!

F = Fake

G = Get a reduction.

H = Help!!!!

 

[lil charlie]

I like me some double dang
Posted via Mobile Device

 

[danath 34]

how do you drown a blonde?
Put a scratch and sniff on the bottom of a swimming pool!




So a blonde decided one day that she wanted to learn how to ride a horse. She went out and did her research, read up on what to do and what not to do, how to ride, etc etc etc.

So she finally mustered up the courage to jump on a horse and ride. It started off slow at first, and she was doing fine, just going with the natural rythm of the horse. Eventually it got going faster, and while she had to hold on a bit more, she was still doing alright.

At this point, the horse got up to full speed, and it was getting harder to hold on. Though she tried desperately to hold on, she started slipping off. She started sliding side-ways off the left side of the horse. She tried to hold on to the horse's mane, but no matter how much she tried, it was just too slippery to hold on to. At this point, fearing for her life, she took a breath, and lept from the animal. Unfortunately, her left foot got caught in the stirrup on her way off. With her head banging violently on the ground, she thought "this is it, Im about to die" as she fought for conciousness.






Just as her vision was going black, the walmart manager came outside and pulled the plug!

 

[badazgtp]

How can you tell when a blonde is having a bad day at work?


When a tampon is stuck behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.


Sorry I couldn't resist. I'll take my lashings now.

 

[redmaiev04]

That's very funny I've never known of blonde jokes before but just as this one. Gotta tell it to my mates.

 

[Sum Beach]

Why don't women fart?








They cant keep their mouths closed long enough to build up any preasure. . .