Mr Brown
Registered
If Jolly old Saint Nick were able to
answer letters with what was truly on his mind...........
Dear Santa,
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas.
Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.
yer Frend,
JaKe
Dear Jake,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I
send you a friggin' book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving
your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spel l!
_
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing
I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Love,
Sarah
Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa
Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Play station, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a
drum kit, a pony, and a
tuba.
Love,
Francis
Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay.
I'll set you up with a Barbie.
Santa
Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year?
Are you busy making toys?
Your friend,
Thomas
Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend
most of my time making low-budget films. I unwind by drinking myself
silly and squeezing the butts of cocktail girls while losing money at
the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.
Santa
____
Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house. How do you get into our home?
Love,
Marky
Mark,
First, stop calling yourself "Marky." That's why you're getting beat up
at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent
apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like the boogeyman
does, through your bedroom window.
Sweet Dreams,
Santa
answer letters with what was truly on his mind...........
Dear Santa,
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas.
Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.
yer Frend,
JaKe
Dear Jake,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I
send you a friggin' book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving
your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spel l!
_
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing
I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Love,
Sarah
Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa
Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Play station, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a
drum kit, a pony, and a
tuba.
Love,
Francis
Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay.
I'll set you up with a Barbie.
Santa
Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year?
Are you busy making toys?
Your friend,
Thomas
Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend
most of my time making low-budget films. I unwind by drinking myself
silly and squeezing the butts of cocktail girls while losing money at
the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.
Santa
____
Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house. How do you get into our home?
Love,
Marky
Mark,
First, stop calling yourself "Marky." That's why you're getting beat up
at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent
apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like the boogeyman
does, through your bedroom window.
Sweet Dreams,
Santa
