a mechanics rant

[psycobusa]

this is pretty funny.....it had a lot of explicitives but i think i edited most of em.






ok here goes.1st, yes there are some nice curtious people out there. but they are few and far between.so here are some thoughts from the people most of you consider low life, bottom feeding, trailer park, grease monkeys. and these are from my personal exsperiances over the last 15 years.

#1 to the parents..whne you bring your mini van in for its 1st oil change at 3000 miles, and the inside reaks so bad from all the milk shakes spilled down the dash,door panels and carpet that has now spoiled combined with the ground in cheese burger happy meals in the carpet after being baked in the hot summer sun for several weeks. dont be pissed when i refuse to drive it because the smell almost made me loose my lunch and require you to have it detailed before i will touch it.
after all.........why should i even need to tell you this.if it was my wife that did that to my new car. i would sell it and she could ride the f'ing bus!!

#2. to the red neck that decieded to use his pasenger side of his geo storm for his spit cup (dash,seat,door panel,and the floor). wtf were you thinking!!!
and why on gods green earth would you think me or anyone else would crawl under your dash in all that nasty azz s**t to fix your blower motor so you can have ac!! personaly i want to know if you would do it? and its your spit!!

#3. to those with toddlers.if you brat slings milk from the bottle all over the back seat area.....it spoils!!! and you can smell it in the front! also...it doesnt help to shove your shi**y and piss filled diapers in the rear door panels!!

#4 to the guy with mold and fungus growing in the carpet. the smell should of been the clue. however.. the mold and sh*t does give the visual. clean that sh*t up!!! wtf is wrong with you? haw does your underwear look f'er???

#5 to the stupid azz insurance adjusters. if there is a hole in the block and a rod is hanging out....its safe to say it has a broken rod, and the oil pan doesnt have to be removed to see why...the f'ing rod is broke and the block is shot!!!

#6 to the lady that wants to play the race card..i dont care what color you are, i dont care if your edjucated, and i dont care if your a woman. just because i fixed your engine doesnt mean its my fault you trans went out! edj.black woman or not!!!

#7 to all the workers at nasa. just because you work there doesnt mean you are THE rocket scientist!! someone has to clean the sh*ter! and my gues would be the one driving the pontiac!!so dont be pissed because i am not purfect and didnt fix your car right the 1st time. after all, didnt the shuttle blow up 2 times?

?so far!!!at least my f**k up didnt kill the whole crew!

#8 to all the doctors that think they are far superior to normal people. just keep in mind that you had to study the human body, its been the same sense the 1st man thousands of years ago. and you still f**k up.. i deal with a car that changes almost every year. so when we cant find your squeek or rattle that only happens when your doing 70 and changing lanes please understand that i cand drive the car at 70,change lanes,and be underneath your car to see wtf it is all at the same time... but im doing my best. and the good thing is..it wont kill you!!!

#9 to those of you that have or want a convertable.. dont b*tch because of the wind noise, road noise, water leaks, and rattles. your basicaly covering your investment with a f'ing paper plate!!!! its suposed to be like that idiot!! i cant fix your bad decision!!

and heres some tips on buying your new car..
1 is it a peice of sh*t? google it and find out!

2 when you look at the engine.. can you see it? if not. its gonna cost you dearly to have it fixed. so dont be mad at me.

3 if you buy a full size truck with a v6 dont be mad because it has no power. again i cant fix your bad decision!

4 if your weigh 400 plus pounds, the cute geo metro is NOT the car for you. dont be mad because it pulls to the left. you have exceeded the weight limit on that side of the car!!!

5 if it sucks to get in and out of that new shinny car... it will always suck to get in and out of it, and more so on your bad days. dont buy that one!

6 cars with split ac systems. they dont blow the same temp on both sides. you will never get your side of the car to be a different temp then your passanger,
your in the same box of air that they are in!!! its pointless!!!

7 if you live in a hot state.. a dark colored car will get much hotter than a light colored car. and it wont cool off as fast!! dont bitch about it..you picked it!!!i can not fix physics! thats what happens to a dark color..it gets hotter!!!!

[ike]

[thepushercg]

100 percent accurate

[Spike]

What a coincidence. I was taking my car (wifey won't ride on the 'Busa) in to get detailed the day before Turkey Day and there was a woman in a mini van there for hours it seemed. I ended up asking her what she was getting done?

She has two small children and two slobber dogs that ride in it all the time. She said the inside smelled like sour milk and dog spit. She thought she would get that taken care of before she brought it in to get work done it by a mechanic. She must have read this.

This should hang on the wall of the mechanics shop.

[Un-Caged]

Some of my smartest friends are mechanics, and yes I even know a rocket scientist.

[heavybusa]

I am from a family of mechanics and this is spot on!

It should be posted in every shop

[BA BUSA]

[xzvs]

Very good post -- after turning wrenches for over 20 years I have a few to add

The machine that you plug into the car that fixes everything instantly and for free does not exist

My crystal ball is broken, please give me enough information to fix your car correctly "it don't run right" will not suffice-- I cannot fix your car over the phone

My job is dangerous and most days I leave burned and bleeding somewhere, do not fender monkey me by hovering over my shoulder and asking questions-- if the sign says employess only past this point --look at your shirt -- do you have a name tag and shop logo on it?

Leave your car and give me time to do the job right- just because you have no life does not mean that you can hang out and push the office staff to rush me -- I know your car is important to you but there were 5 people ahead of you who were nice enough to leave the car and give me time -- it does not mean your car should get fixed first just because you are a pain in the ass

A tune up is not a secret code for a fix all -- it is maintenance-- if your car has a problem please let us know what the EXACT problem is

There is a book that comes with your car -- PLEASE READ IT -- If you don't know how to operate something do not fool with it -- also look at the maintenance schedule and follow it -- your car is not a "lemon" because it failed due to neglect

if you blow the horn while I am under the hood I WILL cut the wires to it -- likewise if you leave your car keys and not the alarm remote - you will find its wires cut too

and now on the lighter side -- some of the "funnier" customer experiences I have had

The guy who thought his car was overheating cause the radiator got to hot to touch

The guy with the blistered fingers who reached through his rim to touch the brake rotor afer he got off the freeway and saw "heat waves" coming off of it

The guy who called me a moron cause his seat motor "got broken by me working under the hood and would not shut off" on the service aisle in front of everone -- who looked like a moron when I handed you your still running electric razor from under the seat??

The guy who would not spend $15 on a new trunk weatherstrip -- he drilled about 10 holes under the spare tire to drain the water out -- you probably guessed it -- right into the gas tank

[psycobusa]

[Wag]

Those are spot on!!!

I do have one comment, however. I will sometimes wait in the lobby for my car to be finished. It isn't because I'm rushing anyone but if you don't have a T.V. or at least a few magazines, I'm likely going to get to pacing a little. If you originally told me the car would be done with its oil change in thirty minutes, I'm likely to get pissed if I'm still waiting for three hours! Especially if you or your service manager is so blindly unaware that he's not tracking me down to tell me why.

--Wag--

[Ruth|ess]

omg dude .. you rock.... 6 year honda tech here and ill stand by everything you said. I have seen it all...

just realized you this isen't you but something you came across lol... well atleast my mess up here didnt kill a bunch of people eh?

[chrisr]

I have also seem it all-20 years at a dealership

[chrisr]

I have also seem it all-20 years in a dealership as a flat rate tech

[chrisr]

sorry the first post didn't seem to work but I guess it did

[Ruth|ess]

no team system here

isen't it fun when a dip$hit hands out work?

[KanjiBusa]

Ok, i had a dumbarse moment a month or so ago, i was riding down the street on my busa and the back brakes were squeaking like crazy, so i stopped at a red light, got off, and slid my finger over the rear rotor to see if it was damaged, and wouldnt you know, i burnt my fingers and had rotor hole size blisters all over my hand...

[psycobusa]

[xzvs]

We all do dumb stuff -- just the guy I was dealing with was sure there was something wrong with his brakes.

I checked his brakes thoroughly (don't fool around when it comes to brakes) and said to him " everything is just fine with your brakes and bearings" He sticks two very blistered fingers in my face and says "does this look fine to you? " He tells his story and myself and everyone else in the service aisle starts laughing. So, I said -- ok how do brakes work -- he says well the pads squeeze the rotor and it stops the car -- I said -- okaaaaay so what happens when the pads rub on the rotor --- silence-- friction?? yup -- what happens with friction -- heat?? -- ok -- what happens if you touch the rotor after coming off the freeway -- I burn my fingers ?? give that man a ceegar !!

[dadofthree]

used condoms beat all the kids stuff.

[badassbusa03]