Need some advice, am I being a Jerk?

lil charlie

lil charlie

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So my wife is all pissed off at me and I ready to tell her where she can stick it. She has been a stay at home mom as of last November and I’m pretty sure she is getting bored. She has always been a fairly emotional girl who likes to push all my hot buttons, but now I actually pissed off at her. I never had a face book or anything like that until our son was born in September of 2010. As soon as I set it up I gave her the log in info and told her she can look whenever she wants….same for my phone. I told her Feel free to look anytime as I have nothing to hide. I don’t even have her log in info and heaven forbid I try to look at her phone, but I trust her completely so I’m not worried about not having her info. I’m sure she would give it up if I asked, I just never did. I have an ex-wife who had two children that were 5 when the Ex and I got together. Even though we are divorced and I don’t have any custody, the twin boys who are now 17 still call me dad and I still tell people they are my sons. Melissa, my current wife, has two kids from a previous relationship but she was never married and we have the 18 month old. My Ex wife is a poor me type of girl so I try my very best to avoid all contact with her. If I ask a simple question about one of the boys I get a long drawn out response about how it’s all about poor her and how the kids treat her like **** or how her boss is evil. I DON’T CARE so I avoid her at all costs.

Now to why I’m mad. I went to sleep around 10:00 last night and my wife woke me up around 11 and asked me to come out to the living room so I did. She spins her laptop around and said “something told me I need to look at your face book and look at what I found†There is a message from some girl that I do not know from early October that says something about I have naked pics and to send your email addy if you want to see them. Then another message from the same chick about a month or so later saying, Okay I’m log in on now. I have no Idea who that girl is and I completely ignored those messages and never once spoke to her. I told my wife this and said It is SPAM and told her it is like the stupid emails we get for Viagra and how we won a ton of money from some third world country. It’s just junk. Then she goes on about some message from my Ex wife and how come I didn’t tell her about the conversation? I didn’t know That I needed to tell her everything I spoke to her. It’s not like the message was bad, it was just her complaining again, so what…nothing new and that’s why I ignore her. My wife doesn’t tell me if she spoke to one of her Ex’s. I told her she was being silly and went back to bed. I got to work and I see where she posted on facebook that she was “so Disapointed†and all of her friends are asking why and she tells everyone, not to worry….she will text them all tomorrow. Now IM PISSED that she is talking crap about me.

Time to chime in…..Do I have every right to go home and tell her that she needs to grow the hell up or am I being an insensitive Ahole?

I have never broken our trust, Im a real man!
 
Sounds to me like you need to sit down and discuss a few things. No disrespect meant but this sounds like a couple of teenagers having a jealous fit.
 
I get those messages on facebook too. She's over-reacting. She was looking for a fight, women do that. Go for a ride, forget it all, she'll get over it.. :beerchug:
 
I would tell her you would like to keep marital things private, yes she is being silly but most women are a bit insecure to begin with. Let it go, if its really no big deal there would be other battles i would rather fight. my two cents
 
Facebook seems to be the biggest hit this side of .... but I have never liked the fact that it is a window into people's every thought. I don't have an account that has any real information in it at all. That being said, I understand it is one of today's tools people feel a need to use.

I have seen situations where people have to take a break from Facebook because it gets too personal.

Good luck with your situation.
 
She needs to understand and accept that ANYONE on FB can send a msg to anyone, even if you're not friends on there...sounds like that's what happened.

Trust is a tricky thing, and women holding grudges and living in the area of mistrust is a tough thing to overcome. I won't lie, I've been burned so much by my ex, trust is really a tough thing. Has she been burned in her past by an ex? It might explain why she feels the way she does.

Bottom line though, for everyone, is that you can choose to 1) trust the person you love or 2) not trust them at all. She needs to address her reasons for mistrust and decide if they're valid. You can't spent the rest of your days trying to prove you're faithful if she won't even entertain the thought that you're being truthful, and if she feels you're not truthful, she needs to express exactly why that is to YOU and only you. Her spouting off to friends about your personal life isn't the answer...truth is, we are all skewed when it comes to how we see things, so dragging her friends in to this will only fuel her distrust; they'll all most likely foster her fears more than anything...

:2cents:
 
She really pissed me off with this one guys. I don't get angry much but this time she pushed me one too many times.
 
I need to know something... Did you cheat on your ex with your current?
 
GsxrBots said:
I need to know something... Did you cheat on your ex with your current?
Click to expand...

Bots wants to know because he wants to make sure his relationship with the Facebook chick is secure.



I feel the need to go home and make sure my wife is still there. From reading your story I was thinking man this sounds like the Dragon. :laugh:
 
I get the same spam from time to time. Random friend requests from obvious call girls too. I just delete em.

Unfortunately it sounds very familiar in a lot of ways. She's suspicious because she's convinced that you don't want her, don't love her and will go where ever the winds blow cause you want that more than her.

I don't know her so how to handle it is just a guess. I'd confront it, dead on and forcefully. You can play these games the rest of your life or you can move past them and be happy.
 
Its not good that she goes through your stuff. Sure, you have nothing to hide. But her going through your phone means that she doesn't trust you. Her telling you that "something" told her to look at your fb. That " something" is lack of trust.

I was in a very similar situation. Your relationship will only go so far with a board, insecure house wife who doesn't trust you. I hope I don't offend you. Its just very close to home. I to have a ex that I can't stand talking to but somehow everytime she contacts me, I initiated it.
 
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