how to honor a friend?

red1100cc

red1100cc

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i have a dear friend that IS going to die. my close friend Joe Osterholt has brain cancer and is going to die.
he has already had brain surgery and he is 1/2 the human he used to be.
the tumor came back and is in the center mass of is brain.
they are going to treat it with aggressive chemo, but i have been through this before.
i have no choice but to watch my friend waste away and die.

i love my friend deary. the dr's, wife and family have been pussyfoottin around it all an have never told him the truth.

should i tell him the truth.
would he remember?
i would like to ask him how he would like to be honored.

i know i will have this conversation very soon with Joe, and im dreading it. he still really thinks he is and will be ok. :down:

sad case all around.

give me some words Brothers and Sisters.:please:
 
ouch..... :please: that hurts man that truly hurts to see someone close to you just fade away.
As far as telling him.... my thought is he already knows. If it's something he's been battling with for a while, my gut tells me he knows.
I could be wrong but that's how I feel. As for telling him, I think that's in your heart to decide. You're the friend, do what you feel is right.
Wish I coulda given you a straight answer :please:

and of course, to honor him, simply be there for him


sendin prayers
 
Without knowing the particulars about the relationship between him and his wife, I would suggest the two of you together inform Joe of what is going on. If she does not want to tell him, request that she at least be in the room for him when you tell him otherwise it may cause further problems and heart ache.

Your friend deserves to know what the outlook is, even if it is not optimistic.
 
Depending on your relationship with her, I'd talk to the wife first. She may have some good reasons why she's delayed. I'm not so sure I'd interfere with family, as much as it might seem right in your mind to do so. There will come a time that he will know, and then you can ask him. Maybe his quality of life is better for now if he DOESN'T know...
 
Wow, how incredibly sad :down:

I would spend time with him and talk about all of the things you two have memories of, and tell him all the things you want to now, while he can remember and understand them. My Dad's cancer progressed to his brain at the beginning of this year, and it didn't take long to see the subtle changes in his personality, then in remembering...I told him every single time I saw him "I love you" and up until 12 hrs before he passed, he was replying to me in kind. Don't let him slip away with regrets. You tell him anything and everything you want to...I'm so sorry you're having to see someone you care about go through this. I know how incredibly heartbreaking that is...be strong for him; it'll mean so much to him and his family.

:love:
 
I dont think you should tell me. It sounds like hope is all he has and it you tell him he will just worry about when the time is coming. It is had for sure but if you just be there and let him know he is loved and will never be forgotten is all the honer he needs. Share your memories and thank God you got to be his friend and everything will be fine. Best of luck and prayers sent for all. :please::please:
 
there is nothing better than just being there...take things that will make him happy...pictures...whatever it may be...even if you don't talk he will enjoy the company...I'm sure he is holding back trying to be strong also.
 
Very sorry to hear about your friend.

But I don't agree with some people saying let the family decide to tell him or respect there wishes, I have some friends that are closer then any family member could be, I just buried my best friend 2 months ago, we respected the wishes of the family not to ride at the funeral and I can guarantee he did not like that.

Here's my advice, do whatever your heart tells you and have no regrets.
 
i thought yall would like to know Joe passed away in his sleep, the night of Dec 16.
he went peacefully.
i had the oppritunity to talk with him some about death, before he lost the ability to speak (about 2 week before his death). he was ready to see what comes next.
we had his funeral on a beautiful, chilly, January day. his services were held in a place we both enjoy and helped build. Stage 3, the local community theater.
Joe believed in reincarnation.
may he come back as a cloud, or better yet a Hayabusa that someone loves and rides alot.

:beerchug: cheers to ya Joe. See ya on the other side my friend. :beerchug:

Joseph Osterholt obituary: Joseph Osterholt's Obituary, Casper

joelion.jpg
 
sorry to hear you lost a friend! sounds like he had made his peace and was ready to go to the next life...may you always remember the good times and he will never be gone as long as those memories are cherished and shared among you and his other friends
 
RIP Joe. Just remember, what he gets after this life is better than we can ever fathom. The trials and tribulations are over and now he gets to be in a place where there is no pain and no sadness. Prayers are with him and you.
 
Sorry for your loss. I went through this same thing 2 years ago with my best friend. He passed from CF. Just know that you were there trough the good times and bad for him. Its never easy to let go as I still deal with it to this day but its comforting to know he is not suffering any more. Good luck to you.
 
I'm so sorry for your loss, but Joe isn't suffering or in any pain anymore, and sometimes that tiny bit of peace helps you get through it.

I hope you had time with him before he passed away...such a difficult time for everyone :(

via Samsung Galaxy SIII
 
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