Who is the boss?

[jellyrug]

Off topic forum, so I was just wandering?

Who is the boss in your household, the wife or the husband?

Background:

Since retirement in 2016, I started a cabinet business which took off beyond all expectations.

We do mostly new residential construction and dealing personally with couples who jointly decide on the design, selection and interior decoration, is a new experience for me.

So far, in most cases, the wifes makes most of the decisions.

With American ancestry of both, had a number of homes, where the wife does everything with the builder, the husband has no idea what is going on.

A few couples, the husband is a kept husband. Wife works, husband plays golf and takes care of the home. These are older folks, $1 million plus homes, no longer have kids in the home.

A small percentage, the decisions are made jointly. They take forever to make decisions though.

The latest project, the husband is from Japan, wife is American. He is totally the boss. To the extent where he got a bit irritated with me, when I agreed with his wife on color selections.

So, who is the boss in your home?

 

[HayaWakened]

Fired all the 'bosses'. Makes it hard to blame others but ownership is worth it

 

[RacingJake]

Wait a minute and I'll ask mine .................

 

[TallTom]

Does it have to be one? I dated a chef. She was the boss in the kitchen. She was better qualified there. She treated me to amazing food. Felt happy in that arrangement. I got to ask for literally anything I wanted and she was delighted to make it. So who was the boss there?

Same thing with a chemical engineer etc. Or a doctor. Everyone has strengths they can lead in. That doesn't mean they want to be the boss. I dated a doctor for 2 years. She was in charge professionally and was good at it. But did not want to lead a man at home. She struggled with it if she felt like she did. You had to be a strong leader. Most men were not capable of it.

As to the kitchen cabinets. If I'm not the boss of the kitchen, I defer to who is. I don't sweat over things like that. I don't often see why someone would do say blue cabinets. But then I see it complete and think about the amazing vision they had. They have a head for the kitchen I don't need to have. Any compliment they get aren't meant for me. As are the criticisms.

I tend to be a leader in the relationships I'm in. And women tend to either want that or we don't go forward very far. Nothing against women that wish to lead or the men that like that. I learned that it's pretty normal to have a leader and a follower. It's not a gender specified thing. It's trouble when this isn't defined though.

I've had a few that felt like they wanted to lead. I gave them a try. It didn't bother me. But they really weren't very good at it for me. For them they had to feel superior. Or in control. Or think I'm there to heap praise on them for it.

Leading and bossing are entirely different things.

 

[MonkeyButtRides]

You know the saying....happy wife happy life. TBF any healthy relationship is give and take.