My Mother Taught Me

[mountainmotor]

This was emailed to me this morning . My favorite is Irony

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:

If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"

My mother taught me RELIGION:

You better pray that will come out of the carpet.

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:

If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!

My mother taught me LOGIC:

Because I said so, that's why.

My mother taught me FORESIGHT:

Make sure
you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.

My mother taught me IRONY:

Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about.

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS:

Shut your mouth and eat your supper!

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM:

Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!

My mother taught me about STAMINA:

You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished.

My mother taught me about WEATHER:

It looks as if a tornado swept through your room.

My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS:

If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY:

If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't
Exaggerate!!!

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:

I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:

Stop acting like your father!

 

[SAMBUSA]

Heard them all

 

[heavybusa]

good ol mom!!

 

[thepushercg]

nice

 

[psycobusa]

 

[dadofthree]

thank God for good moms.

 

[Charlesbusa]

 

[semi]

felt like i was 8 again for a minute

 

[Devil Dog]

 

[BA BUSA]

 

[BlondeOnaBusa]

That was good!