My Friend Jack is an Idiot
- Thread starter RedlineStands
- Start date
I think I'm a bit offended here...
let me say girls dont sit in my car or walk by it, i make them follow me in thier own cars so i dont have to drop the bit#$ back off in the mornings
lease:
Bout damn time someone understands.
I think I'm a bit offended here...
let me say girls dont sit in my car or walk by it, i make them follow me in thier own cars so i dont have to drop the bit#$ back off in the mornings
you should also employ this this then too
THE BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT
This Booty Call Agreement (herein after referred to as the Agreement) is
entered into on the ________day of __________200_, between _______________
and ____________________.
THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND REGULATIONS.
1. No sleeping over -- unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in
the morning.
2. No meeting in public except for drinks before the events of the
evening.
3. No calls before 9PM -- we don't have s**t to talk about.
4. None of that "lovemaking" cr*p - only mind-blowing sex allowed.
5. No emotional discussions - Ex: "Where are we heading with this? Do you
love me?" The answer is NO, so don't ask.
6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are called the "back-up",
Unless you are from out-of-town, then it's only a one-time,
advanced-arrangement.
7. All gifts accepted - money is always good (Need to buy condoms)
8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged.
9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's really none of your
damn business.
10. No calling each other "friends with privileges" - we are not friends,
just sex buddies.
11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be offended.
12. No extra clothing - I don't want your @ss leaving anything behind when
you leave.
13. No falling asleep right after sex - it's over, so get your ass up and
go
home.
14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I don't care.
15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.
16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "my
roommate's
girlfriend/boyfriend."
17. Doggie style preferred - just hit it hard and right or get the hell
out.
18. Reason for doggie style:the less eye contact the better. I don't want
to
look at you,
just f*** you.
19. We hook up absolutely whenever the mood strikes ME - so don't keep
calling.
***EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS***
The aforementioned rules may be altered by the holder of the agreement. If
the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this agreement,
it
will automatically become null and void and you will then be removed from
the BOOTY CALL LIST, and deleted from phone memory and email list, BLOCKED
from all communications until your silly @ss understands the rules.
Participating partners:
Signature:_________________________ Signature:__________________________
Date:__________________
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